Just Some of What I Experienced

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Greetings fellow single Aspies!

I don't rate myself as a top expert in the dating game by any means but I thought I'd share what seems to work for me.

Recently I returned to a Singles dance in my area in a very off-the-cuff way -that is without any prior planning or thought. I was acting purely on a hunch and by instinct despite having become somewhat disillusioned about the regularly-held event.

I would have stayed that Friday evening alone in my apartment but this time there seemed to be something from an unseen sourse telling me: "Get yourself over there, Pap! Now!

So I readied myself in a neat and presentable way and headed out once again to that dance club. I barely had time to pay the admission fee and find a seat and... Well I could see that she too was attending there by herself and was not one of the regulars there. We got dancing and chatting-up in a way that I was not my usual quiet and shy self. In my book, that's a good sign if I can chat-up with her like that on the first contact.

It turned out she was a playful outdoorsy type that likes to do all the same things in the outdoors as I, but living in another town about 2 hours away. May I add that she also had a lot of same little oddities as this Aspie lad. Her hands were still stained from berry-picking when we met on the floor. As we chatted and got acquainted with each other, she too expressed a lot of the same things about the Singles dance that I felt left some to be desired. One of the things that did come up from her in the conversation was: "Now do you see what you would have missed out on if you didn't come out here?" Hmmm... interesting.

I didn't ask her for any personal info but I did leave her my phone number and e-mail addy at the end of the evening, and let her know to "drop me a line next time you're in the area and we'll go berry-picking, or canoeing, or hiking". At the time of this writing it's still too early to tell.


Okay... So she brought out a chatty side of you that got you out of your shell. I'd take it as a good sign as well as a good potential to explore the new relationship further. It goes a long way if the two have some common passions and interests. For a normally tongue-tied Aspie a new-found friend like that could be a gem. Remember too there could be competition with other NT's within her field so don't take it personally if you don't hear from her again. In the best-case scenario she could be looking for a nice, albeit shy guy to enjoy time to spend with and you could very well be the one she'd been looking for.

I never ask for personal info on the first contact. Instead, I'll leave her mine and then it's up to her if she wants to touch base again. In this day and age with all the crazy people at large, you wouldn't want your prospective new date to think you're some kind of stalker

I also won't drink alcohol at the Singles dance even if it's available. With the admission fee and a few glasses of club soda the evening will run me less than $20. I'll have extra money on hand to cover a cab fare if needed and -um... a protective device "just in case"
I also find that keeping in total control all the way helps in making all the right impressions. First impressions last! And believe me, they do last!

Depending on what will happen from here and depending on what kind of response I get on this thread, I'll keep you posted.

heh, ive been trying for a while, im going to get myself out their soon enough also.

Now you're rolling bro! Don't be a wimp though, be AGGRESSIVE! Get them phone numbers man, the more you get the more chances you'll actually get. I hope something happens for you there.
By the way, love the butterfly pic. Is it a blue morpho?

LOL Crazy

And yes, if I don't hear from the girl I mention above, I will be on the prowl again this weekend. I have a buddy who is one of those guys that has a gift of magic with girls and has a history of encounters with a different girl every night for weeks on end when he choses so. I'm acting on his advice.

And yes, the butterfly is a blue morpho

Well it's the weekend again and I haven't heard any more from that athletic blonde from the Singles dance. So I headed out to this English pub in the south end of my town.

Club soda, please? ...Thank-you!

I lurked in the shadows for some time and watched the crowd. I picked out the sourpusses that are best not approached. I watched the guys too and made out the surly ones that are best given a wide berth. I could see the ones that were there as couples and there were a few small gaggles of girls around too.

Like any night club, the place had a rhythm and beat of its own that took some getting used to. I danced a tune with one and then another tune with another one, and then another once I was reasonably convinced they didn't have surly bf's lurking close by and I got comfortable with the action.

At some point I could sense that "something was up", only I didn't see it coming.

I was had from behind. Two girls, and they were taking me on like a tag team. Whoah! What's this? A man I'd never seen before suddenly loomed into my view with his towering 6'4" figure and said: "It's her birthday" and gestured me to come to the dance floor. I'll call him Ray (not his real name). May I add there was some very suggestive bodily contact there on the dance floor. I had to think fast to assess the situation but there was no danger as far as I could see. They were a threesome: a couple with a single girl tagging along, and she was celebrating her birthday.

The girls: "Did we scare you?"

Me: "Hey! No! Not at all. I think it's pretty funny". We all roared in laughter.

We danced a couple of tunes and then I asked her: "Can I join you?"

She held my hand as she led me to their table in a quieter corner of the place and we all introduced each other and got chatting-up. Actually, they were very friendly. We danced some more and when the DJ put on a slow tune I did have a good idea of what her intentions were. She had some to drink but at least she wasn't too far gone. The touching and hugging did escalate to a more blatant level as I initiated my response.

We were down to the last hour and I ordered my first and only beer for the evening. We went out to the patio to chill out and chat. I asked: "Can I kiss you?" Well... ummm... things did get really heating up and...

As I looked at her with a shy-silly grin, she said: "What?"

Me: "I was thinking about calling a taxi and maybe we could take a ride somewhere?"

Her: "Got swimming caps?"

Me: "Oh yes I do."

[Austin goes to flag down a cab. ...TAXI!]

Ah modern sex! Just got to love it.