Early Diagnosis Detrimental?

Post Reply New Topic

Taloha Ni

I hope you are well. As I have a little spare time on my hands, it has occurred to me that I might muse on my experiences and observations, in relation to Asperger's. My perspective is somewhat polarised; I am a person who has the disorder, with experience in working as an advocate, educator, and support worker for other autistic individuals. My observations would lead me to surmise that those who wish to make friends, but don't possess the knack, constitute the majority of Aspies as a group. On a personal note, I prefer my own company and usually don't seek to instigate social interaction, but this is beside the point.

In a professional capacity, many of those I support express a genuine wish to make friends, but are unable to connect with the rest of their peer-group. I wonder, is it always wise for school-aged children to be informed that one of their classmates has Asperger's? Because of the narrow worldview that typically accompanies a child's social growth, it is probable that when presented with this label, he or she is going to see the afflicted peer as ret*d. Although I could be entirely incorrect, I feel that the later in life a child is labelled the better - not that AS is anything to be ashamed of!

I say this as I believe that children who are thought to have AS are often allowed to indulge in socially inappropriate behaviour to a greater extent than their neurotypical peers. This can only be detrimental to an autistic child, as you are all probably quite intimate with the fact that we thrive on concrete routine. Once a suspected autist has integrated an abnormal behaviour into his or her social schema, it is decidedly hard to alter it. If a prospective AS child is allowed to exist as the slightly eccentric being that he or she is in the early years, while being subject to similar [realistic] expectations as NT classmates, a solid founding for sucessful social encounters in the future is established.

If a child is treated as 'an oddity' by adults, other children will soon form a similar regard. For this reason, I argue that formal diagnosis of Aspergers and associated PDD be staved off until around the age of seven years - providing ample time to decide whether or not the individual could survive better without it.

Excuse my rambling, I shall write something cogent after a decent meal.

Please express your views - even if they do not support my own!

I don't disagree with what you are saying - 7 years old sounds good to me . . .
And I hate it when people use a diagnosis to justify large amounts of inappropriate behavior
As for being ostracised (sp?) by peers - I have been all my life because everyone KNEW there was something different about me - having a diagnosis wouldn't have made any difference . . .

But in terms of having a diagnosis - I wish I had known what this was before I was 30 - it would have saved me SOOOO much time and heartache . . . not to mention all the money on meds and therapists and stuff . . .

So I think a diagnosis is a good thing in some ways . . .

Certainly; a diagnosis is good to justify your own behaviour to yourself [I hope that makes sense]. I'm recently diagnosed, a labelled creature now, I am! As far as I can see though, a number of children who have the diagnosis from an early age have increased difficulty in understanding their surroundings - I am of the opinion that this has a great deal to do with the inconsistent treatment they receive from their teachers, parents, etcetera infinitum. All was always aware that I was an odd-bod, but I feel it could have been made worse by having people treat me like a total basket-case as a bairn. - Of course, I was given some degree of special consideration, for my "disruptive-eccentricities"

I'm sure the whole issue is quite subjective!

Thankyou kindly for your response - it was the first [Woohoo]!

When I was thirty years old I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. In some way it was quite a relief, because I knew I was different from other people. At school I was a loner and treated like a leper by both the teachers and other students. I try not to use this diagnosis as a justification for my behaviour either. But now I'm 34 I wish I had been diagnosed much earlier, because now I feel that there is not much hope as far as getting a girlfriend or a job is concerned, and I am condemned to spending the rest of my life living with my parents.

Hey Mate

Thankyou very much for your post - your perspective is truly appreciated. Also, in response to your comments in relation to your own situation. You sound very similar to me. Although its a cliche, "positivity is the key". I am sure that you possess a number of qualities that women would find attractive. Conversely, while modesty can be appealing, self-pity has the nasty effect of frightening people away, in that vein "Don't put yourself down". Chin-up, you sound like a very nice bloke.

Have you considered online dating. In this type of scenario, you can be very honest about who you are, what you like, and the type of person you are trying find. You live in Australia, don't you? In New Zealand there is a site www.nzdating.com dedicated to the medium of online friendship. Place an ad, what have you got to lose?

Living with your parents is not such a terrible thing, you know! I have just moved home to a rural area, from living 2 years independently in the Capital City. Living separate from family is not all it is cracked up to be, especially when your network of social contacts is small. If you want to live independently [by yourself, with a girlfriend, etc.] there will be Mental Health organisations in Australia, which would be more than happy to help you.

Best of Luck to you my friend - you are not alone. Perhaps you might suggest to the site administrators that they include a "lonely hearts/singles" section on www.wrongplanet.net - angled towards AS and AS "friendly" people.

Keep us up to date with your plight!

Thank you for your support, I appreciate it very much. I try to be as optimistic as possible,but some days this does become difficult . As far as my situation goes, unfortunately specialist services for people with Autism Spectrum Disorders in this country are hopelessly underfunded. I was with an Employment Service specializing in Autism and Aspergers disorder, but their services were far from satisfactory due to lack of money, and I left two and a half years ago. I've never considered an on-line dating service, but your idea of a lonely hearts type service for people with AS is an excellent one. It is very pleasing that the number of people joining this site is growing by the day. The site administrators have done a great job in getting this site up and running and I'm sure it will continue to grow and grow.

I'm undiagnosed and currently trying to convince my mum to help me find a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. She's all against the labels and always has been. Personally, I think it would be easier for me to have known since the aborted attempt at group therapy when I was in about grade two. I've been shunned all my life except by a very select few people. I wish I'd had any inkling as to what was "wrong" (and I use that word loosely) with me. My teachers always said that intellectually I should skip a grade but that my very low level social skills made that impossible. Maybe if I'd known, someone would have been a little more understanding. Instead I always got the "You're a bright girl, use your brain" song and dance.

I'm not saying it would have been a good thing to excuse my behaviour, but at least I would have had a clue what made me act like that. It wouldn't have been so horrible if I'd known that there were other people like me and that there was a name for what was "wrong." Up until last December, when I discovered AS, I thought I was a freak who had to go it solo and that there was no one else in the world who had ever been through what I go through every day.

Tainz

Nope. No easier. No harder, either. Not much changed at all.
However, I'm an adult. It might be different for my child. When she starts school it might be easier for her to have a proper diagnoses. Although I doubt school will be easy for her in any case...

flamingjune: I like your avatar. By the way, what does your name mean?

it has helped with Maire, it helped to know how to teach her and how to help her approach certain situations and it helped me understand why she was acting certain ways. since we homeschool (Maire could never be entered into a government/public school or even a private school, as there is no way they could cater to her learning style). i remember when i got my diagnoses (at 25), i felt extreme relief. i knew i was a lot like my father, but i didnt realize that there were other people like me, who couldnt stand to be touched, would panicked at the thought of going into a new/unfamiliar situation (and would stayup all night thinking up all the different ways it could play out), etc, etc, ad nauseaum.

i can see how some people might use the Dx as a label or a reason to excuse certain inappropriate things, but for the most part i see the diagnosis as a guidepost.

I think that by all means the kid should know his or her diagnosis so they don't grow up thinking something is terribly wrong with them but not knowing what it is. (After a certain point and with your own judgment of course. I mean kids before a certain age like 6 or 7 probably don't need to know, but on the other hand if they are suffering socially and obviously having trouble with the social world, they need to know why. If they seem oblivious to their social faux pas and don't care, then they probably don't need to know. But I think in most cases, more information is good.)

However, in most cases, I don't see why the peers should ever know. I think that's just generally a bad idea. As someone else said, that would make them label the kid as ret*d or similarly bad things soo quickly, and they would never give the kid a chance. Maybe without it, he/she could just be seen as slightly eccentric... teachers I would think would need to know only if accomodations were needed for the kid in some way or if the kid's behavior needed to be explained so the kid wasn't like yelled at all the time for things he couldn't help, or perhaps if the kid needed help with ...well anything else. I think telling the teacher labels most of the time helps, but that is not based on experience, only theory, so I don't really know.

But I'm definitely all about telling a kid why he acts differently from everyone else , but presenting it in a positive way and using it to protect his self esteem, not using it to try to limit him in any way.

Kate

Hey Gavrod - I'm curious - you mentioned that you still live with your parents and intend to do so forever - which is fine - don't get me wrong . . . but for me, one of the big goals in my life was to get out of my family's house and that is something I now think is related to my Asperger's . . .
My family is terribly dysfunctional and generally make me get into all sorts of behaviours like obcessive pacing, migraines, overwhelming feelings of anger, etc . . .
But from the point of view of someone who has a family that they like to be around - what sort of comfort do they give you? I've never experienced anything like that . . .

Damn me - I hit the 'submit' button before my brain had finished thinking . . .

What you were saying about realizations about your social life - I'm going through that so bad right now - I've e-mailed the vast majority of the people I like to be around to tell them I'm doing a strategic retreat for a while - I plan not to leave the house for some time (except for job interviews) - but I'm at one time very relelived to realize that the reason I have no interest at all in dating and family and stuff is explained, but then I think that I will never have a real friend and I don't want to live like that . . .
I mean, I look at my favorite person to be around and his husband (they have been together forever) and they so obviously love each other - I mean so much - and I realize I'll never experience anything like that ever . . . and that is so hard . . .
And I had two people get into my wall very much in the last year - they were really trying to help me, but, of course, when they realized what they had gotten into they backed out - and I'm having a very hard time sealing up those holes now . . .

So I understand excactly what you are saying . . .

When I said I was condemned to living the rest of my life with my parents, it did not mean I wanted to keeping living with them. I'm exactly like you, I have no social life and I do want to have friends and maybe a partner, like many Aspies I haven't got the ability to do so, I can sympathize with your situation believe me!. I have wanted to leave on many occasions, the fact is that it is nearly impossible for me to get some other type of accommodation due to various circumstances. Well even though I get on o.k with my parents, I still have a strong desire to move away from this place and knowing that I can't do that has caused me strong feelings of anxiety and depression.

Take Care,
Gavin