Uncomfortable situation at church

Post Reply New Topic

I am a member of a church that has recently come under much heat because of an incident with a person who has Asperger's. This person was found talking to a young boy, 10-11 years old while stimming. The mother of the young boy described her face as "blank, in a trance" and assumed she was masturbating. She was rubbing herself in between her legs, but I'm not quite sure to what extent. The parents of the boy are now in an uproar and the church is going to have a big meeting about it. What I'd like to know is all of your opinions about how this should be handled or viewed. The woman with Asperger's is in her 20s and has been involved with the youth group extensively. I'm not too familiar with stimming, but from what I've read, it is a behavior that can be modified to fit social standards while still providing relief to the person with Asperger's. Should we contend that she needs to recognize that her behavior was grossly inappropriate even though this is part of her condition? Should she lose her position as a Sunday school teacher? I am a very understanding person but I don't think children should be witness to someone rubbing themselves in the crotch. Should this be excused?

I am very divided as far as how I should view this situation. Any of your comments or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Are you sure she was stimming? Has this particular stimming behavior been observed previously? Just because she has Asperger's doesn't mean that the action was necessarily benign.

In addition, unless she is pretty impaired, I think most high-functioning people in their 20s are aware that touching yourself in public is not appropriate. Especially since if it *is* a stimming behavior, I'd think that it must have happened before, and someone would probably have commented on it. If it truly is a stimming behavior, she could at least have removed herself to a private area, like a bathroom stall. So I'm slightly suspicious about this, and I agree that children should not be exposed to people touching themselves.

The sole defense of this incident is that she was stimming, so that's all I have to go on

yikes. i think i've seen a movie on lifetime the network for women like that, (yes i watch lifetime) har har har.

i'd be cool and stop going to church, once when i was a kid some couple had issues wich resulted in the wife throwing her husbands porno mags infront of the congregation. it was total shock, but funny now

I know that this is a crazy idea, straight out of left field, but has anyone, y'know, tried talking to her? Does she have a formal diagnosis, a therapist that you could talk to (this would require a release from her, so you'd have to be totally open about wanting to check, probably agree to specific things you wanted to ask about first). Stims tend to be behaviors that have happened before, so I'd expect this to have occurred previously, if not at Church if it is indeed a stim.
If it were me, I'd be talking about a temporary, but indefinite, suspension until she's begun seeing a councelor, therapist, or other appropriate professional to help her get a handle on her stimming behavior. If it is indeed a stim, they'll be able to fix it, if not, I imagine they'll figure that out pretty quickly.

I hope the kid's OK, but IMO parents often overreact about this sort of thing, he probably has no idea what was going on, although he may have thought it a bit odd.

Yes its possible to redirect stimming behavior into something else. The "in a trance" part hints at the fact she may not have been aware of what she was doing (it was probably an absence meltdown.. mind overloads and mostly goes blank like tripping a circuit breaker) but you cant really be sure.

Id give her the benefit of the doubt but make sure its clear that people don't find that particular behavior appropriate and she has a choice.. change her stimming behavior or lose her teaching position.

That's difficult to say. Here's my thoughts- if she is REALLY leading and teaching that Sunday school class then she must be very high functioning. As far as I know anyone high functioning enough to lead a class, be outgoing and talk is also cognizant enough to not masturbate in public. If I stim in public its either rocking or rubbing the hair on the side of my head or shaking my leg or foot. But generally I only do that under extreme situations where I am under high stress. Even among the low functioning Aspergers I have never seen any of them masturbate in public. The low functioning Auties I have seen will sometimes masturbate though. So what she did is rare and odd. I find it strange she is leading a Sunday school class. Is she really leading or just "sitting" in class helping someone else teach? Few Aspies would be comfortable leading a group teaching I think, so this seems odd. But then all Aspies are different.

Another thought is did she recently get put on a new medication? The psych drugs tend to make some people act like deranged lunatics. Neurontin and Topamax are two of the biggies that make people act weird. I've known an Epileptic on Topamax and she was a dang freak on it. Everyone at work hated her. A number of autistics get put on Topamax too. They tried to put me on it for PTSD but I refused under my friend's advice who is a doctor that it would make me strange.

Ah I hadn't thought of that.. yeah prescription medications tend to have wildly different and unpredictable effects on autistics. Stimulants act as sedatives and vise versa but most alarmingly most anti-psychotics CAUSE psychosis in autistic spectrum individuals.

Do you have any links for this? I tried a google search but couldn't find anything about antipsychotics causing psychosis in autistic spectrum individuals. I am interested because I was on an antipsychotic (namely Trileptal) for nearly a year due to being misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Anti-psychotic drugs make anyone's brain more vulnerable to psychosis on a longer term, after suppressing it while on them. The drugs block the dopamine receptors in the brain, and the brain considers it external trauma and compensates by making them more sensitive. It's been well documented that anyone that has used them will be more likely to relapse into psychosis over a 1-3 year period than someone treated without.

I am a member of a church but I've never stimmed in church before but in this situation I would it is a case of miscommunication also Asperger Syndrome is one of the most misunderstood disibility. I have and I will fully understand ever.

Stop going to church is the easy way out it has to be sorted the Pastor and elders really need to be aware of her condition just in case something like that happens again.

Thats true but I was talking about a more immediate cause-effect relationship.

Parent takes their child to see a psychiatrist due to moderate behavior problems doctor prescribes anti-psychotics child turns unintelligible, violent and appears to be hallucinating within days and gets progressively worse with each change in medication.

To my knowledge no official study has been done but the number of cases where the autistic gets worse while taking them outweigh the times things go smoothly at least in my experience.

All psychotropic drugs seem to cause quite a mess in the brain while getting them on too and while changing the dosage, I suppose it's possible that the akathisia the antipsychotics are known for can have that effect until the brain has settled.. I definitely don't think there's any reason for anyone to be prescribed antipsychotic drugs simply for having an ASD, but don't know if they somehow cause psychosis in autistic people.

The way the pharmaceutical companies are prescribing drugs to children is very disturbing, they're making them chronically ill and dependent on their drugs. Just have a look at http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/04/healt ... ref=slogin .

It's crazy but I tend to scratch my crotch a lot, especially at home. My wife hates it and has told me to stop. I just can't help it. My father always did it, but he has Aspergers too. I have accidentaly done it in public.

As far as this young lady, we can't judge to what degree she has aspergers because each case is unique in its own way. I'm sure it was innocent. Why would she do something inappropriate around a group of people or where she could be spotted.

Maybe she was just trying to adjust herself. Sometime I gotta adjust my balls and I'm sure it looks like I'm on vacation. Hey, was she hot? Cuz at 10, if there was a hot woman in her 20s touching herself in front of me, I would've kept it a secret and replayed it in my head a bunch.