Why difficult for relationships with aspergers?

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I say that why? Well there are so many females with AS have relationships and the males have lesser contributes. I wonder why female with AS have more relationships than male with AS? Is it to do with teenagers adolscent? Still there are plenty males in adulthood are still single while female with AS in relationships aswell. What some kind of record is this? There are lesser chances for me getting a relationship with a female (either have AS or not)?

How would we to get this work? Its extremely hard for me to get in right track and aswell getting friends. Look, i know im 16 but im trying to get a point before i be like those AS adult males. I have no excuse for these females i may meet in future to reject me, especially university. I have a dear that have no survival.

How we get out of this?

We need to contribute this?

Did you translate that paragraph back and forth from English to Japanese about 9 times or something? Not to put you down or anything, but that was close to incomprehensible.

perhaps aspie females can relate better to guys in general?

im guessing that's what makes them so attractive to both NT and AS guys

Aspie girls are naive, as such, they are liked because they give guys a feeling of well-being. Aspie girls also focus really well and are observant, so they try to get along with their mate more than NT's girls.

My advice? Join a local church, you'll meet girlsn that will respect your aspie traits - sincerety, honesty, truthfulness, etc.

Aspie Girls get along better with NT boys because they are naive and don't question what the NT guy is doing.

Aspie Guys do not get along with NT girls because NT girls often call them "Creeps." for some reason (I think the problem is theirs).

Aspie Girl and Aspie Boy ?

LOL.

This is my thought on why NT girls look at Aspie guys as creeps. One reason is we have a tendancy to stare. I mean just stare in general. Our speech patterns. We don't give them the expected response. We tend to not recognize thier interest in us, and they think we're creeps when we come up after they feel rejected. I learned this because of people telling me that I never gave an former crush of mine a chance. I never knew she liked me, and she was hot, and I really wanted to get with her. We also can seem uncaring, and or needy in a relationship with one. There are many reasons. Aspie girl's are every guys dream. Me I'd prefer an Autie.

Perhaps its because females are lovely.

I know it's wrong to laugh, but Todd's comment cracked me up. I didn't understand much of it either....

I haven't met an Aspie girl so can't comment on that, but my relationships always go great for the first three months and then depression sets in and I become unbearable to live with and am unable to communicate how I'm feeling. Now that I know what my problem is I'm hoping that next time (if next time happens) I'll be more honest right from the start and don't have to pretend to be somebody I'm not.

in retrospect I have been taken advantage of in a lot of my relationships, and my AS caused naivety probably made it a lot easier for the guys to do this. In a weird way I guess AS could make you attractive to someone who wanted a partner who was submissive.

as for having a relationship where you're both on equal footing, I would say it's just as hard for the girls.

laugh... sorry.



Yes, sorry to be a bit, uhm, direct here, but we in general have more stuff to offer to a guy, than a guy has for a girl. We are more In Demand. This is not such a great thing as you think it is. It means we get the trashy guys that just wants something that he can emotionally abuse while satisfying his physical needs (sorry for the bluntness, but girls, I'm sure you'll back me up on this one).

However, in the long term, as long as the aspie girl learns from her mistakes, she may eventually become more picky and rather choose to stay alone than go out with the wrong type. And, as all girls (NT/aspie alike) know, there is nothing more a good-guy-magnet than the girl that is really content by herself and is not needy for a guy. (Oh, same thing for guys, that last sentence, b.t.w.). So, we get more practise at relationships (bad ones, but still), hopefully somewhere along the line we do become wise and it is actually easier for us to start a relationship, than the aspie guy that never dated a single girl in his life.

I was just posting about his yesterday, to a girl. I think what aspies need is a "love coach" - someone that you can practise a relationship on (you know, dating and kissing, nothing beyond second base), without feelings getting hurt and knowing that it is safe, and one must be careful not to fall in love. But I think it is very difficult for aspies: we are too true to ourselves. Faking a relationship is just not in our vocabulary.

I wish I could give you all nice girlfriends.

I prefer fellow Aspies because I have been betrayed too many times by NTs.

Tim

lol then no wonder guys struggle to do it - I'd much rather risk staying single and be able to question what the one I like is doing than lower my dignity and never question anything.

tbh though - I say wth??? Not to what you're saying but that it can't be just that aspie guys are upright and proud of their own ideas (not saying aspie girls aren't at all, but both sexes seem to respond differently with their ideas) that stops them... there surely has to be more to it...

Perhaps it's because aspie guys are too open to begin with? tbh I truly believe that it's the world's superficial view that gives aspie males a smaller chance in general, and certainly not in most cases the aspie male that needs to brush up...

I do think it's easier for a girl in general... girls seem to be more fussy about stuff whereas guys seem to have to be a certain way, which seems to be tricky to grasp, and they'll take whatever girl they like so it seems...
I dunno stop me if I'm wrong lol.

Last edited by samtoo on 09 Sep 2007, 10:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have been taken advantage of, taken for granted and generally treated badly in all my relationships so now don't want to go near any NT guys.

Aspie guys, if you really want a relationship and are jealous of the ones we aspie girls get then you need to look for a NT girl who is manipulative, dishonest, bullying, takes everything she can from you - financially, mentally, emotionally and psychologically - then dumps you like trash when she gets bored or something better comes along...still jealous?

simple: men are expected to initiate relationships. this is hard for both male and female aspies, but female aspies don't need to do it to get a relationship, whereas the males do. if a male is not seen to take the intitiative, everyone will assume he's just not interested; if a female doesn't take the inititative, it's unremarkable and nobody assumes anything.

I have tried making the first move lately, but (a) the person I am interested in sometimes does not reciprocate, and (b) there are very few people that I find all that interesting. I am very specific about who I want.

Tim

This sort of attitude I have noticed in other posts recently and it really p*** me off because not all people on the spectrum are good with language - spoken or written - but they have as much right to be here as everyone else and not to be treated like this...SHAME ON YOU!