Why difficult for relationships with aspergers?

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calandale
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15 Sep 2007, 9:41 pm

Shinigami wrote:
hey its a website...Grammer is supposed to be ignored. lol, Abbrievations PWNS! :lol:


NO! Some people may have difficulties,
but it's not some sort of carte blanch to
disrespect all those whom you hope to
have reading your thoughts. If they're
important enough to post, they're important
enough to make as legible as possible.

If you want to use 'leet speak' use it
where it f*****g makes sense, in an
online game. You have as much time
as needed here, to make your thoughts
intelligible.



Shinigami
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15 Sep 2007, 9:57 pm

Ah yes. Very well then i shall convey my original message and its meaning in more formal language....
I was mearly trying to add playfull banter to my posts. The message was in fact intended to be satire in its use of exaggerated language to attempt sarcasm. Sorry to cause offense... Though in truth I think that use of profanity is just as intolerable as bad grammer.



calandale
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15 Sep 2007, 10:07 pm

I can understand that opinion,
and do try and keep it down,
outside the adult section. But,
occasionally, 'tis the only way
to really express something
in all of it's pureness. There
MIGHT be times when this is
also true of 'leet speak' but
outside of certain sections of
the fora, I think you'll find that
a more genteel tone is greatly
appreciated.



Shinigami
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15 Sep 2007, 10:20 pm

Absolutely logical! Sometimes one must step into the realm of what is considered to be vulgar in order to express an oinion they feel passionate about. Though I think we may have strayed from the original topic of this thread.



calandale
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15 Sep 2007, 10:34 pm

Imagine that. :P


Happens a lot, around here.



AussieMatt
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16 Sep 2007, 1:35 am

Well i am not happy with someone picking on me about my grammer on here. Its not on.


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calandale
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16 Sep 2007, 1:41 am

But, 'tis not flaunted as bad.
Yeah, you don't capitalize as
much as desirable, but there's
a big difference between that and
purposefully using netspeak which
many don't even understand.

Though, I wouldn't have an easy time
reading a long post without careful grammar,
I don't have too easy a time with long posts
anyhow. :P



16 Sep 2007, 4:04 am

Women are expected to be shy, not make the first moves to men so AS is easier on women because not much is expected from us. Men are supposed to come up to us and start talking to us and asking us out, etc. and we do nothing.



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16 Sep 2007, 8:19 am

Relationship stuff is a mystery... but you know what? :D I thrive on the fact that a lot of NT's also struggle with this... sometimes I find myself in a strange situation where I'm helping out younger people - when I say younger I mean 16/17 - with advice... but I really wouldn't call myself the most reliable guy to be giving out advice on relationships. 8O And they're NT's too... no doubt they've had more success with this stuff than I have.

I seem to pack good ideas and such but when facing the real thing I bottle it... like Valencia... sorta... :roll: :oops: lol

But I can't be blamed for that - I'm not the greatest social phenomena out there. :roll:

The past is a tricky thing though... I sure hope the newer me is able to hold his own this time... I sure hope lol. :P


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Tim_Tex
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16 Sep 2007, 9:56 am

likedcalico wrote:
Women are expected to be shy, not make the first moves to men so AS is easier on women because not much is expected from us. Men are supposed to come up to us and start talking to us and asking us out, etc. and we do nothing.


I have been making the first move lately with people I am interested in. So far, no one has reciprocated, though.

Tim


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Bightme
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18 Sep 2007, 12:36 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
likedcalico wrote:
Women are expected to be shy, not make the first moves to men so AS is easier on women because not much is expected from us. Men are supposed to come up to us and start talking to us and asking us out, etc. and we do nothing.


I have been making the first move lately with people I am interested in. So far, no one has reciprocated, though.

Tim


It's taken me nearly 26 years, but I'm beginning to come round to taking that approach; I mean if I find it so hard as a shy male to initiate things, even though it's more the social norm to do so, than what must it be like for shy females to do the same.



davershar
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18 Sep 2007, 1:43 pm

I don't know if I'm aspie, ( I strongly suspect it, but no doctor told me I was), but when I read this threads, I feel I can relate.
Anyway, I woudn't dare giving an opinion for others, but I feel that one of the reasons aspies have difficulties in finding relationship is that Asperger syndrome is in fact unknown from most people.
I don't feel in my case that I couldn't try to spend time with NT.
But, in order to try to date, you must feel comfortable with that person, because, if you don't feel you can share something with that person (in my case a girl), how could you tell you enjoy being with her when you don't.
Another thing: love and dating has much to do with extraverbal language, and a normal girl expect you to understand it naturally.
Aspies are like foreigners who try to speak Japanese in Japan where people speak Japanese fluently: it will be difficult for them to be heard and understood and people will tend to speak japanese with natives rather than those foreigners;and it's especially hard when you're supposed to speak first, lol.
Again, just my opinion.



Tim_Tex
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18 Sep 2007, 1:57 pm

Bightme wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
likedcalico wrote:
Women are expected to be shy, not make the first moves to men so AS is easier on women because not much is expected from us. Men are supposed to come up to us and start talking to us and asking us out, etc. and we do nothing.


I have been making the first move lately with people I am interested in. So far, no one has reciprocated, though.

Tim


It's taken me nearly 26 years, but I'm beginning to come round to taking that approach; I mean if I find it so hard as a shy male to initiate things, even though it's more the social norm to do so, than what must it be like for shy females to do the same.


Yet the problem is that there is no one in my town, Aspie or NT, who has the same interests or beliefs as me.

Tim


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18 Sep 2007, 2:44 pm

Asparval wrote:
Perhaps its because females are lovely.



ha or guys are just doofs :0 (prolly true, but love em anyway)


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BazzaMcKenzie
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18 Sep 2007, 11:24 pm

Sedaka wrote:
Asparval wrote:
Perhaps its because females are lovely.



ha or guys are just doofs :0 (prolly true, but love em anyway)

Well, most females - lol



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19 Sep 2007, 8:34 pm

It's like in High School, no girls noticed me in this way. I tryed to share at them alittle to get their attenton, and when I did, I put on a big smile. I often got smiles back.

I'd hold the doors for them, they would smile and say thank you whille their Jock boyfriends gave me a dirty look about everytime.

I remember when I was possibly (not to brag but) the weirdest and wildest one in drama class. I quit after Drama 2 and didn't bother with Drama 3. I thought that everyone thought that I was annoying. Though I started to notice that most of the drama girls still said hi to me.

I tryed so hard to hit on the girls that I liked and not cause them to run away from me.

Now I'm in college and I'm going to meet one of the members that's going to be in my Aspie club tomarrow. It's a girl so I'm not sure what this may lead to if you know what I mean. ;)


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