Is he interested?

Post Reply New Topic

Long story short, we've been on two dates. He's hugged me goodnight after both. I'd really be wanting a kiss, but we've met halfway both times because I felt bad with him driving through traffic to pick me up. He's currently sort of deployed, coming back in the next few days (he's only been gone a few weeks) and told me he's looking forward to seeing me when he's back in town.

Ok, so why isn't he kissing me goodnight? Of course I'm terrible at picking up on signals and I can't figure this guy out. Making the first move probably isn't an option because I am so bad at reading whether a guy wants it or not. He's never had a girlfriend, so this is just a bad and confusing situation all the way around. Need advice. Help.

You're going on dates... the dates have continued... I'd say he likes you.

Just too nervous to actually kiss you. Probably doesn't know you are expecting it.

And if you aren't expecting it... that's a big kind of problem there for the guy...isn't it...

If a woman kisses a man, I very much doubt the guy is going to have much of a problem...

Last edited by Pugly on 30 Sep 2007, 5:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

All guys are different. Mine didn't kiss me until we'd been on several dates. I just let him decide when he was ready for it (he also hadn't had a girlfriend before so he was probably not as comfortable with it). After the fifth or six date, he gave me my birthday present, and then kissed me It was sweet and I'm glad I waited on him to make the move.

i'm 16, possibly aspie, and i completely ruined my first relationship because I was insensitive.
However, I think the 'He's never had a girlfriend' means that he wants to, but he's too shy and/or inexperienced.
I was like that.
I sound like an agony aunt

Dating is an expression of interest .

Sounds like he is a gentleman who doesnt want you to think he is only after one thing like most men are.

I bet if when you next say good night, if you close your eyes and pucker your lips, you will find a gentle kiss placed upon them

And if he does, he just doesn't want it.

So I guess next date I have to let him drive across town to pick me up, just so we can say goodnight at my front door and not in a parking lot?

Got something against parking lots?
Or park benches? Why make it a
GOODBYE kiss, anyhow?

Yes, definitely. I have studied NTs and their mysterious ways for 35 years now, and learned from past mistakes. You need to make the guy work a tiny bit. I don't mean play total games out of The Rules or something, and you don't have to play hard to get, but be a valuable woman that he needs to drive all the way across town to pick up.
I have the same instincts you seem to--I always want to be a super nice friendly girl and stuff. But if a guy likes you, he would drive across a STATE to pick you up, and be happy to do it. ( for a little while at the beginning at least, hehe)
And yeah, he might not want to kiss for the first time in a parking lot.

Easy. He's an Air Force Reserve pilot, also a pilot in his civilian job, so when we say goodbye, it's usually got a longer time than most people and who knows when we'll see each other again.

And *I* don't have anything against parking lots, in general, but since I haven't kissed anyone in four years, I think I'd feel more comfortable someplace people weren't staring.

See, I'm not sure about that. We're still in such an early stage that I don't want him to think a relationship with me will be a huge hassle. Especially when he's usually only in town for one night and sitting in traffic is probably the last thing he wants to do (we have bad traffic here!). But he did offer before our last date to pick me up, so if he offers again, I'll take him up on it.

I guess I was referring to,
why stop with a kiss?

Hahaha. There IS a reason for that, believe it or not.

Especially in the parking lot.

Oh, I know, I was exagerrating a bit there, and certainly didn't mean you should be a pain in the neck. But across town to pick you up should be no problem.