Don't want to socialize, but solitude depresses you?

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Faramir
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30 Jan 2009, 11:31 pm

Sometimes I go out walking in the city at night when I am alone. When I walk by a crowded bar, the noise and light comes pouring out. I am normally intimidated by all of it and don't dare walk in. Intellectually, I know that nobody will pay attention to me, but I am worried that the whole place will turn and look at me all alone.

One thing that works is to take my New Yorker magazine to the bar and sit and read and have a beer. Then I am closing them out!

Tonight I am lonely, but I am going to a late night coffee house. I'll be alone, but sort of in an academic sense, surrounded by other people. That can be nice.



ToughDiamond
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31 Jan 2009, 7:32 am

^
To reduce the "everybody knows how lonely I am" feeling, I try to pretend I'm Humphrey Bogart - I don't dress like him (though it might not be such a bad move) or copy his voice (that woud be foolish), I just try to relate to that persona he had of being confident in his own company. I knew an entertainer who said he used to feel completely out of his depth during the many times when he found himself alone in a bar or club at which he was to perform. But he said he got used to it and began to relax and realise that he wasn't standing out like a sore thumb like he'd thought.

I've been going to the same music club regularly for a couple of years. I perform there and even got involved with running theshows and doing compere work, but when I don't have a role it's rare I talk with anybody. I just can't handle "pure" socialising most of the time.



b9
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31 Jan 2009, 8:02 am

i do not want to be a socialite and solitude enraptures me.