It is an "art" that is better left alone, as it usually disguises a great deal of anger. If you're going to be angry, why not just be angry. You get your message across and there is no doubt about what you mean.
As for understanding it, it's mostly tone of voice, and Aspies have trouble with it.
I say, say exactly what you mean (It is one of my problems). You'll probably lose a friend, but maybe you'll react differently to the situation next time, especially when you realize that you kind of liked the person you were nasty to.
Ah apologies. Good for the soul. And you are always the better for it.....and the target of your sarcastic remarks will usually like you enough to accept a sincerely worded apology.
"I'm sorry, that was an awful thing to say. I should have kept my mouth shut. It isn't you, it's me, and I'm working on it. I hope you understand. Please. I still like you."
It often works. Being an anger problem, I have often had to put that little phrase to use. But you have to mean it.
btdt