Women's Expectations on Dating Sites

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Free dating sites work just fine and don't take up tons of time if you do up a decent profile with photos, are specific about what you're looking for (casual sex, marriage, whatever) and message/reply to messages accordingly.

For women maybe.

To be fair men are more successful I'd they are brave and message lots of women

Did that and all it did was end in hundreds of rejections. Perhaps if guy meets their crititerial of a real man and messages tons of women.

I also messaged LOTs of women on dating sites & I got almost no responses.

You're not looking for a million responses. You're looking for one response from a person you click with and find attractive.

it's also helpful to not take a non-response to a generic one-liner or wink/flirt message as rejection. Assume it's par for the course and, like, one response per 50 or 100 messages is a normal response rate. Then be happy if you get 3 replies per 100 message instead of sad 97 of 100 people ignored you. Manage expectations.

^^ This

Interesting contrast here.

Additionally, if it isn't working for you, then don't just keep repeating the same thing over and over hoping for a change. Figure out why it isn't working, and try to work on those issues. Based on a lot of the profiles I've seen people post here, it has less to do about the person themselves, and more to do with how they present themselves, or more commonly the lack thereof. When I first started out, I would get a response maybe every 20-30 messages, but once I fixed a few things I was getting a response to about half of them.

Also to address the original post: I find that plentyoffish tends to cater more towards a particular demographic of people, like those you mentioned in your post. I tried it for a while, but I really wasn't a fan of it. The other sites are a lot better in my opinion.

This is very good advice and works even as a woman. I worked quite hard into creating my okcupid profile. So much so that when I had to delete it I was really sad because of the effort that had gone into and how proud of it I was (really stupid I know but I'd never be able to right about myself before)

That's why I chose to deactivate rather than fully delete mine .

You assume we send generic messages. What's a wink/fleet message?
So are you saying I should just send hi how are you to thousands of women?
There's only 20 women left in my area on okcupid. What kind of response should I expect then?

If a guy doesn't get any response from thousands of women what should he do next?

I too, as a male, have had difficulty with online dating.

That makes three on one page.

I gave up on Tinder because no one in my area and the minority that did come along I either wasn't attracted to or compatible with.

If I just set my location radar on low-distance that just means I'll be waiting absolutely forever for anyone to show up.

It feels like a small town here even though it's not.

I live in a very small city that many say feels like 'a big town' rather than a city and this holds true. It is undergoing a lot of development though, to my frustration, as in just a few decades or so it'll be just as congested and over-populated as any other major Australian urban metro hub.

Other dating sites? Don't even mention it, on the biggest teen dating site I've ever been on there was like 3 or 4 people in my area, meanwhile I continue to feel jealous the people who live in the state capital just a few hours away has several hundreds.

"You're not looking for a million responses. You're looking for one response from a person you click with and find attractive.

it's also helpful to not take a non-response to a generic one-liner or wink/flirt message as rejection. Assume it's par for the course and, like, one response per 50 or 100 messages is a normal response rate. Then be happy if you get 3 replies per 100 message instead of sad 97 of 100 people ignored you. Manage expectations."

Don't click with nor find anyone in my area on the teen dating sites attractive. And even if I message all four of them in total and get a response to none?

Well, I'll have to begin messaging ones who live in small towns 30 minutes to 4 hours out of town or the big city 1 1/2hrs over.

"Also to address the original post: I find that plentyoffish tends to cater more towards a particular demographic of people, like those you mentioned in your post. I tried it for a while, but I really wasn't a fan of it. The other sites are a lot better in my opinion."

Every dating site here in my area is empty!

There are 30 pages of adult profiles on pof here!

There's 10 users per page.

10 x 30 = 300.

Assuming 50% are woman, that's a hefty 150 women in your potential dating pool.

Assuming you're attracted to, let's say, 25%, that's quite a large 37 potential women to date.

On RSVP, another dating site, there's quite a hefty sum of 238 profiles of men and women within 5km in or outside of the city radius in the age 18-30 range.

Assuming 50% are women, you've got 119!

And this is without filling out all the other extra search filters, such as height, weight, lifestyle, religion, education-level, etc.

After using all the search filters to my standards, that's a total of 20 profiles, or 10 women exactly!

I picked any body type, any education level, any diet... the only way I narrowed it down was removing a few religious and political options, and by requiring them to be a non-smoker or trying to quit.

47 in total already, oh boy this is great!

I'm not an adult yet, so I'm obviously not on this sites, but it further makes me want to be living somewhere else rather than here.

There was even a news article over just how hard it is for singles here and several polls have reported an 90% Yes it's hard to 10% No rate.

Intro to this is what tinder and other similar meet me functions are like for men.



I swip right to 90% of women. Thousands and thousands probably as it does whole state and some from other nations o.0

No real matches I must be super horrible.

That's the thing about online dating - it creates the illusion of having thousands of potential matches right at your fingertips, but when you really delve down into it, there are only a small handful in any given area that you may be compatible with (unless you're super-generic). For me, there are probably a few thousand profiles within my distance range, but out of those, I'd say only 5 or so at any given time that look like they'd be good, long-term matches.

My assumption is that you're sending a generic one liner or a wink/flirt as a first message (which takes negligible time) and broaden your geographic area (2 hr radius vs 1 hr radius from you) and broaden your criteria (be willing to consider girls who are older/younger, more/less educated, etc). Save the personalized message for your SECOND message.

Redo the profile and post it on a new site or two too.