Worse the AS or the side effects?

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What has influenced your personality more: AS or having lived with AS?

I'm wondering about this now, because maybe the behaviors that get me into trouble nowadays are the same as or more a product of trauma than of AS.

I am and never have been affected by my AS problems, however the sensory problems and the anxiety cause me day to day anguish. I had a particularly traumatic time at high school and that has left me with a slight personality disorder.

The side-effect are much worse. The depression and social anxiety from not being like the majority of society.

Yes; it is the trauma of being in this world that is harder than the AS itself.

for me its a mix.

For me, it's a mix as well.

Tim

It's the side effects. The need for analysis, social hesitations, the paranoia are all much worse than the "symptoms". The primary effects are why I am respected, why people expect and look to me to have the more creative solution to an artistic problem or the more logical solution to a practical problem (at least now I'm an adult, when being more creative and/or intelligent than your teachers isn't going to get you punished).

Another primary effect, and probably the one that let me survive this long: I'm stubborn as all hell, and I'd bet most of you guys are too.

The anxiety. It causes depression because the thoughts cause anxiety. I hate being punished internally for thinking. The hyper awareness. It's hard.

Not knowing how to conform has made me scared of people and have a loss of confidence. Right now I'm doing a better job than before at putting those problems in back of me as a advocate for my kids.

I've just been told by a shrink that I don't have any serious co-morbids and am 'lucky', nevertheless I have a lot of problems that have built up over time from the stresses of living with this thing. The most notable of these is probably the self harm, I may stop cutting for as long as years but i still hit myself hard on the arms and head, bite myself, blah. Most of the time I don't like myself very much.

I have no idea which has affected me more than the other but living with it has certainly made me a way that I wasn't to start out with.

Same goes for me. I used to be an extremely outgoing, spontaneous, energetic, funny, confident person. I wasn't set out to be this gloomy, constantly mourning losses, subdued, fearful, insecure, philosophical character that I am. This is the product of decades of painful losses connected to unsuccessful relating both professionally and personally. I don't regret the depth that came with it, but I know I could've been a much livelier individual and most of all.....that I could've given a lot of love to someone.

Side effects perhaps infinately more.

Side effects? what side effects.?
Maybe i just don't understand what you mean.

I dont think As has influenced my personality or living with it, i am Me!! !! !! And i have my own personality. i dont need my As to control my personality

I dont think AS has big sideffects. especially not to who you are. But KNOWING you have AS might change you a little bit. for example when you try to make friends, you know it is harder for you then it is for others and that you might seem a bit weird because of your AS. this might have a negative effect on you.

But just be yourself and then you will know that the friends you have are true friends.
Better 2 real friends then 100 friends who don't know who you really are right?^^

I think she is talking about what medically is referred to as 'co-morbids', ie. other psychological problems you have caused by your aspergers which are not your aspergers. Examples could be OCD, anxiety, depression, etc. Or just any other issues you have which aren't that serious but nevertheless are problems that have built up over time due to the strain of living with aspergers. Examples could be low mood, insecurity/low self esteem, reluctance to try again to make friends/find a relationship when your previous attempts have been unsuccesful.

Being troubled by these things doesn't to me imply that you are letting AS control you or aren't your own person.

Well i used to have a really bad self esteem but in this last year or whatever i have a Goodish self esteem.
I just dont care what others think any more.
And yeah i have a couple of friends i can trust completely.
Although my friendship group is currently growing. i think its because my self esteem is better or whatever.

well if you want to research it (which could really be an interesting research) you can also research the people with PDD. which can probably be done very easily if we can ask the records from a hospital somewhere. I'll see what I can find because if it really does have side effects, it would be nice to know