Unexpected formal relating...urgh...I need support...

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Greentea
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06 Jan 2008, 4:52 pm

Relating is hard enough for me without alienating people, if not downright impossible, and this evening it was the worst situation of all. The bosses I work for in other countries are here for the annual convention and I invited one of them, whom I get along very well with, for a drive in my car to show her the city and have a good time. In the last minute her boss, who is one of my big bosses, joined us and I found myself driving them both in mad traffic at night with no parking spots anywhere, trying to find a place I could park and get them to dinner somewhere. I'm sure I made all the social blunders possible and I feel miserable. Spontaneous relating, and with bosses, is the most difficult test for me. They're such absolutely nice and fun people, humble and sweet...and I'm sure I offended them a million times. Like I didn't make sure never to interrupt the big boss and to laugh at all his jokes, and I did notice that her subordinate was making an effort to herself.


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SeaBright
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06 Jan 2008, 5:30 pm

Once a person also has the distinction of 'authority' not in my direct chain of command but up a rung I have difficulty relating to them too.

Other times I am like "hey! blah blah blah"

I guess it is really on context.

But my owner boss. Once I knew who he was something really changed in my ability to relate to him.

It troubles me.


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Tufted Titmouse
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06 Jan 2008, 6:30 pm

This isn't a hard and fast rule or anything, but I would say that more often than not, if you are not subservient and fawning toward a boss, they respect you more.

Imagine if you were in their place. What would you think of an employee who laughs at every bad joke you make and says whatever they think you want to hear? And then what would you think of another of your employees who seems to have their own opinions and to be willing to speak their mind?