Inappropriate Comments?

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The real problem is that we get it drummed into our heads to be honest and never lie, then when we are honest ("you are really fat!") we get in trouble for being honest.

We're told to ask questions when there is something we don't know/don't understand. But when we do just that ("How can you drive when you are so fat you can't fit behind the steering wheel?") we get in trouble.


Then to make it worse, while we're getting in trouble no one says, "yes that lady is so fat she couldn't drive our car, but..." Rather they get hung up on being embarassed/angry. However, we can't usually process that as a reason to stop talking, because we don't understand what the problem is being as we only stated the truth and you have told us several times to be honest. So while you're yelling "Jonathan, stop it. Thats not nice." we're asking "Why should I? She is fat, can't you see it. She's wider than our front door. I was just asking how she can drive a car. She couldn't fit in ours"

My son makes inappropriate comments. Not rude ones. I mean, he doesn't point out flaws in people. He makes some random comments that no one else would make though.

If your son makes oddball comments that other people would look at him and say, "huh???", I would say 'yes' to the inappropriate comment thing.

it's a minefield out there

Wife: "do you like my new haircut?"
Me: "no"

I now know that answer is a mistake.

It's still a crappy haircut though.

I know of adult aspies (including me) who make socially inappropriate comments. Often they relate to sensory issues eg. "what's that smell?", "something smells like poo", "why do they have to make that stupid noise?" and so on. After I explained to an aspie friend that there was a bad smell because of a dead possum in the yard behind me, he said "did you fart?"

I said "No of course not, if I did and it smelt like that, I'd need medical attention".

Commenting inappropriately topic

I did this a lot as a child. i still do it as an adult. My NT children are the ones who are mortified! I sometimes wish I had another child, one who lives on the Autism Spectrum. Oh, well. I hope I have a special grandchild. You definetely need a sense of humour to deal with the a child who says the darndest things.

I agree with sartresue, you definately have to have a sense of humor. When my son was about 11 we visited my mother, who had recently died her hair. instead of saying something like "grandma, you colored your hair" he said "holy moley grandma, what happened to your head!". Not the best visit with grandma that day, but I couldn't help but LMAO. And comments like this are frequent with Dean. I've always taught my boys that they have a right to their own opinions and beliefs, but trying to teach him tact is something I'm still working on.

And to add to it, he has inherited his grandfathers witt, so when he makes remarks that are a little sarcastic, but quite hilarious, it's difficult to explain to him there is a time, place and volume that should be thought about before he says it outloud.