[b]Substance Abuse and Asperger's[/b]

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MissConstrue
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13 Feb 2008, 1:40 pm

Before I start, I know that alcoholism and Asperger's are not related. Alright, I have been clean and sober for over a year now and everyday I have to watch myself. I used to drink very heavily and went in and out of hospitals as a result. I used to always tell myself I'd never drink again and then went back to it. I know that part of it was and is my disease, but I also feel like I had been using it as a social crutch. I had never been diagnosed with Asperger's until 2 years later. When I heard that it was part of an autism spectrum, I couldn't believe it. I'm now trying to accept myself with this condition. I'm glad that there is a website for it. I thought that Asperger's was rare and I was alone with these feelings. This site, to me is like a support group. Physically, I don't crave alcohol like I did in the past but sometimes I mentally crave it. This bothers me a lot depending on the day. I feel triggered espeacially when there's a fun social activity going on and I'm all nervous. I go to AA meetings but I have a hard time keeping in touch with those who give me there phone numbers. I was wondering if anyone is or has gone through a situation similar to this and how they're coping with it.



Syd
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13 Feb 2008, 1:55 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
I go to AA meetings but I have a hard time keeping in touch with those who give me there phone numbers.


When I was younger I frequently indulged in alcohol and various illegal substances. I usually did so in small, trustworthy social groups. I did so responsibly, and I've never really been addicted to anything to be honest. So I can't really relate to addiction, though many of my old friends continued to drink and smoke heavily... I don't know why I never felt the urge to continue. My guess is that one's genetics play a huge role in how prone they are to addiction.

These days I have no friends, thanks to social anxiety. I was officially diagnosed with NVLD, but I've never been officially tested for Aspergers.. though it's likely I have a 'mild' version based on unofficial tests I've taken. I've never been to any group therapy or AA meetings. I understand about having trouble keeping in touch with people though.. my cellphone is usually turned off just so I can avoid talking to people. Some of my former friends still call me on occasion, leave messages.. 90% of the time I never even call them back. I'm not a good friend. :(



k96822
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13 Feb 2008, 2:10 pm

I am struggling with this problem day 3. On Monday night, I realized I couldn't have a drink and not have another and another until I became drunk. Then, I would eat, go to bed late, wake up hungover, and spend the whole day feeling bad until I can have another drink at night and start the cycle over again. At first, I drank to reduce my tension. I just couldn't get keyed-down from how insanely unfair the world is. When I decided to skip drinking last night, I found I craved it tremendously and, of course, had problems with being too keyed-up. I tried concentrative meditation. I just sat and focussed on one noise in the room and removed all other thought (not an easy thing to do, but i did!) for about 5 minutes. I came to realize that is just as effective as the alchohol -- if not MORE so because I can be relaxed and not have it take away my ambition. I slept like a baby last night, even waking up naturally at a reasonable time (I'm unemployed again, so I can sleep-in). I feel great right now and ready to be productive. Thank God I don't have an addictive personality (obsessive, yes, but not addictive), so I think I'll be okay -- better than okay.

The trigger for alcoholism was to have some sort of release. I always feel like I'm connected to a live-wire and about to explode. Alcohol took that way, to an extent, but actually created more problems as a result.



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13 Feb 2008, 2:28 pm

@MissConstrue

My situation is pretty much the same as yours. I'm only 2 months into it though.
For now it's been a positive and good thing. I pretty much hit as close to the bottom as you can get without losing everything so I feel relieved and thankful more than anything.

I used it as a crutch for years (decades really) in social situations.
I've been going out clean/sober but have been sticking to people I already know and that's been a lot of help.

Not sure how I'll do if it's a new group of people or god forbid a work thing where I don't know anyone. I'm hoping the practice so far will give me the confidence to do it straight.

Congrats on 1 year. That's a long time. Stick with it.



criss
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13 Feb 2008, 4:01 pm

I was dx last July.

I have been going to 12 step meetings for over 14 years now, not to AA (never had a drink problem) but for the co-addiction difficulties. like codependancy (CODA) and sex and love addiction (SLAA)


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KingdomOfRats
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13 Feb 2008, 4:49 pm

Not an alcoholic,but mum has been an alcoholic since before am was born and all her sisters are/were.
When am drink alcohol [it's only ever been bacardi breezer tropical orange,as it's for taste and not the alcohol],am get used to having it in routine every week so that am cannot stop,so am stay away from drinking it apart from at firework seasons,have been told am alcoholic because of this,by stupid people.
Dad and sister used to go to Al Anon in Urmston [for families of alcoholics].


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sarahstilettos
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13 Feb 2008, 5:11 pm

Despite everything I've said to other people on this forum about not using it for socialising, I could never have a night out without it. I seriously don't think I could have a social life at all without it. At the moment I'm living with my mother and there's no way it could ever get out of control because of that, but I worry about my ability to control it when I move out again. I used to go on nights out and drink thirteen double vodkas.



jawbrodt
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13 Feb 2008, 6:47 pm

I started drinking regularly when I was 14 years old. By the time I reached age 25, I was a full-blown alcoholic. I would drink a fifth of 100 proof, and a 1/2 case of beer, every day after work. On the weekends, it was even worse. Around age 28, I was starting to have pains, in the region of my torso, where my liver was located. I knew I had to do something or I would die.

I tried quitting but, I just couldn't stand to be sober. I have been in and out of jail 5 or 6 times, and on my last visit, I realized someting about myself. The reason why I couldn't stand to be sober was that, my hyper-sensitivity was creating a tremendous amount of social anxiety. Those extremely uncomfortable thoughts/feelings that I was experiencing, while sober, were called "anxiety", by everyone else. I just never thought of it, that way.

In my case, I knew, without a doubt, that I had no chance of sobriety, unless I had control over my social anxiety. I talked to the prison psychiatrist, and was placed in a rehab that treated mental conditions, in addition to addictions. That's where I was introduced to anti-anxiety meds. Yes, they made me sleepy, and they made me feel weird, but the trade-off was worth it.

Finally, I actually looked forward to being sober. I have been drug/alcohol free, for almost 4 years, and could't have done it without meds. To this day, I'm still on my meds, and now, I barely notice their effects. They worked great for me, and might be an option for you. Just something to think about. Best of luck. :wink:

Also, in my response, the terms anxiety and panic attack, can be used interchangeably. Alot of my anxiety, was caused from the fear, of impending panic attacks.



Last edited by jawbrodt on 13 Feb 2008, 10:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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13 Feb 2008, 9:22 pm

I haven't had a personal experience with this...but my father [who suspect has aspergers] is a heavy drug user of the illegal kind.
I don't have contact with him anymore but the last time I saw him...he was clearly high on something he had taken/used before he had arrived at my house. I'm not sure why he uses the drugs.


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