Talking about interest/self without being akward.

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Pugly
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17 Feb 2008, 3:38 am

I know this can happen, I see others who can talk about whatever they are interested in... while everyone else in the group looks on and listens and participates.

But often, I go on tangents and topics that are interesting to me... and things affecting my life and what goes on in my head... and it feels like the conversation fizzles. I'm contributing nearly 100%, while everyone else is slowly losing interest.

Perhaps I am more self centered when it comes to communication. In fact I know I am, and I need to improve. But it doesn't change what I've seen in others who talk about themselves and their interests and can almost drive a conversation.

I don't know the difference really. And I really would like to, because I like talking about what I'm interested in. I can be extremely talkative and social when talking about topic of interests.

Anyone figure out this aspect of communication? How do you introduce topics of conversation with out sounding self centered. How do you bring up a topic, "so I was going to the story today...blah blah blah." and without feeling like you're babbling endlessly about yourself?


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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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17 Feb 2008, 6:32 am

I experience this very often, when I talk to people about myself, my stories or interests I feel like I'm being very self-centered. So I try to make it sound like a sharing. I always start off with 'Do you know that....? blah blah blah', and there's always a 50% chance that whoever you're talking to would say 'really?' and then you move on to tell him or her interesting facts about what you're interested in. It would make you sound very much like a dork but image doesn't really matter ;)
Or another tactic I try is to (very much like a predator) wait until people talk about something that is related to what I want to say, it doesn't have to be closely related, all you need is a little bit of link between what that person has been saying and what you want to say. Then it wouldn't look as if you're being too self-centered, it would look as if you're just contributing.
These are just a little bit of suggestions that might work.



Pugly
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17 Feb 2008, 11:47 am

Ah, I never really thought about saying "do you know..." yeah that works... I just never put it together.

I'll play the waiting game, and actually use it fairly effectively. Once I get really comfortable... I just start talking. I have to mentally focus on not saying anything that pops into my head. Which is unfortunate, because I lose the mental quickness and ability to say funny comments... since I am so concerned about saying something relevant.


_________________
Wonder what it feels like to be in love?
How would you describe it, like a push or shove?
Guess I could pretend that this is all I need
Wanting more than what I have might appear as greed.