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earthmom
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17 Feb 2008, 6:40 am

My husband is a conspiracy theorist. At least I call him that. He spends a great deal of time listening to talk radio and internet shows and reading constantly about how the world is about to end, everyone is corrupt, everything is poison - it's all gloom and doom and he talks about it nonstop. Every single conversation goes back to this theme. You can start off talking about how nice and sunny it is out and within 2 sentences he's brought it around to global warming, sun spots, ozone layer and contrails.

He's *supposed* to be the NT one of us.

What I've struggled with for many years is how to find my footing with him. I think a healthy NT/Aspie mix is an NT who is stable (take notes, you Aspies who are about to marry an NT) and dependable and can offer a life that is one you can count on. I have always wished we had a stable life with him earning a regular income (I've always provided for the household) and having things more routine and upbeat.

It's very very difficult to sort out what is truth and what is a lie. I listen to him at times but anymore I just ask him to stop talking to me now and we spend most of our time in different rooms of the house. If I listen to him everyday I'm just ready to commit suicide because it sounds like there is no hope, all is lost, just give up.

I think he is fearful and depressed and he says he is positive and aware because he's informed. This just adds a great deal more to my confusion Maybe he is aware and informed? It doesn't seem that way but I don't know. I can't think of what good this kind of "information" can possibly bring. The day to day stuff - fixing something broken in the house, spending time with the family, gets pushed aside because he's "busy" on this more "important" news that he's gathering.

There are two sides to everything and if you focus only on the negative and the bad, soon it's all you can see.

Does anyone here focus on those kinds of conspiracy theories, or have anyone in your life who does? How do you deal with the overwhelming depression that comes from them?



zebedee
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17 Feb 2008, 8:19 am

He sounds like he needs to reduce his consumption of talk radio a little.

I'm a student of the dark side of global politics - I've got it all down to a world view that basically the entities in charge of the worlds governments are its large corporations and everything is pretty much a puppet show for the peoples benefit.

It would be depressing if I cared - even the people of Rome went through a radical unexpected shift in lifestyle when the empire suddenly collapsed - it happens, the thing it makes me do is ensure that I take care of the people in my life that mean anything to me, I keep a fund for "unforseen emergencies" and I dont watch television anymore, I studied natural medicine and my savings have been diversified into various things so in the event of economic collapse I'll still have enough money to buy food or weather the transition.

He needs to unplug from the internet conspiracy shows, much of the media tries to scare us deliberately, we live in an era of bread and circuses and he needs to stay away from the circus.

Its not unusual in human history to have to worry about every single thing, look back to the era that brought you serfdom,or the rise of the nazis - human history has only lately had non-troubled times and even that depends on where you live - if you're an Iraqi "two SUV's in the garage and happy times for all" has sadly passed you by for a number of decades so the only people who have ever not had to worry are those who are prepared for anything.

Your husband should move on to the "so what am I going to do about it" phase of worrying about conspiracy theories - look at getting multiple streams of incoming coming in, try and get out of any debt even if thats always keeping the credit cards paid off, if theres room grow some veg, fix up the house etc

The problem internet radio has is it never offers solutions, maybe we are on the edge of the death of the petrochemical age or the collapse of the old super powers - in all this we still have to eat and keep a roof over our heads and thats where he should be.



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17 Feb 2008, 8:20 am

The only true conspiricists that I know about is that Skull & Bones group. They see themselves as masters of the world.

My wife used to have talk incessantly about her day. When she started repeating herself, I'd tell her that she needed to call her girlfriends now and and tell them about her day.

It sounds like his obsession is severe enough to be considered clinical. Medication might be an option.


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17 Feb 2008, 8:40 am

It strikes me that the obsession may stem from depression and not vice verser. If it's affecting your day-to-day family life, I'd say it's become clinical; I'm sorry, but I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to suggest.


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Zeno
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17 Feb 2008, 9:00 am

...basically the entities in charge of the worlds governments are its large corporations and everything is pretty much a puppet show for the peoples benefit.

******************************************************************************

Now that is a hoot :D.

How do the rich and powerful become rich and powerful?
What is a corporation?
Who owns these corporations?
How do the CEOs of corporations come to run one?

If only they would understand it a little better...



Vexcalibur
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17 Feb 2008, 9:32 am

I have gotten into it a lot, my new victim is Microsoft.

I think this is due to the obsession part of AS...



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17 Feb 2008, 10:13 am

He sounds a lot like a Baptist, except that Baptists are supposed to work so that they will be able to give tithes and offerings.

Does he send any money into any of these groups?



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17 Feb 2008, 10:24 am

Well, there ARE a lot of conspiracies! Not just theories. Just yesterday I heard about something once considered a MYTH! When I was a kid, it was considered a myth. In fact, it might have been a DECADE before I heard about a map location, rather than a numerical area. It was eventually ACKNOWLEGED as FACT! NOW, they apparently moved to two other states. Will we ever know the truth? Well, the US government USED to say it was a MYTH and that there was no truth to tell. Today, they say it is real, tests the latest domestic technology, and they WON'T release any info until DECADES after the fact.

WHO KNOWS about the masons? They DO have some secrets, relationships, and a suspicious past, but their detractors have said they have a secret organization called the knights templar and have done no real good. Two FACTS are that they OPENLY acknowledge the knights templar, and that THEY started the shriners!

http://www.shrinershq.org/

The US government has TONS of conspiracies. Some are military, but some are financial or for power, etc... It is truly sick.



WilsonFisk
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17 Feb 2008, 10:36 am

This reminds me of that guy in the tv show "six feet under". He was paranoid about conspiracies and eventually it turned out he had a problem in his brain. Have you considered getting his brain checked?



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17 Feb 2008, 10:47 am

Conspiracies, especially the illuminati conspiracy, are like a lot of religions. To the true believer, the fact that others do not see "the truth" is almost incomprehensible (or is attributed to the power and influence of those involved in the conspiracy). To the outsider, the conspiracy sounds like complete silliness.

When it comes to empirical claims, I think that the scientific method, with its emphasis on inductive reasoning, is the best approach to take. However, although I find dialoguing with conspiracy theorists entertaining, I have never seen anything come of it. People who believe in conspiracies are not generally susceptible to evidence which does not fit with their metanarratives (grand schemes of things).


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mikebw
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17 Feb 2008, 11:14 am

Quote:
How do you deal with the overwhelming depression that comes from them?


Have a deep talk with him about it. The talk doesn't have to be all at once. But you need to talk about it. Don't go making threats or giving ultimatums, not that you would just a warning precaution. Get to the root.

My #2 brother is sort of the same way(Always watching the news and listening to talk shows, he's a huge fan of Michael Savage), his focus is on the surface, not on the root cause. And he is very abusive. We had many arguments and talks. And from those arguments and talks I learned that he is paranoid, narcissistic, and sadistic. He likes himself the way he is, he liked using and abusing me and is unwilling to meet me half way. So, me and my #4 brother left him. He scares my nieces so my sister won't let him stay with her, and he hates our mom and she knows that he's an evil little twit, so she won't let him stay with her. He's now homeless. We all help him out, but we won't let him live with us.

If you don't want to leave him, and he's unable or unwilling to meet you half way, you'll need to change your outlook. I'd try joining him, it can be fun. If you're unable or unwilling to meet him half way, then :shrug: don't expect him to meet you half way.


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Odin
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17 Feb 2008, 11:32 am

I think it might be a generational thing more then anything else (I'm assuming EarthMom's Husband is about the same age as she is). I've notices that people born in the late 50s and the 60s (younger Baby Boomers and older Gen-Xers) tend to be very pessimistic, cynical, and more prone to see nonexistent conspiracies then other age groups.


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17 Feb 2008, 11:58 am

Fans, Ya got to love them. Yes, there are conspiracies, they are about money and power.

In a world where the major groups are, "You can't do that!" and "You have to share because everyone has rights." Getting anything done takes a conspiracy.

I am in the Conspiracy to avoid thieves, idiots, and government, and have fun. It keeps getting harder, because all three are growing.

I do things that only a few do, and we do conspire, fix prices, and have a secret code, just as every other industry does.

The People are meatheads, what else are you going to do, put my life up for a Democratic vote?

"I am against all forms of corruption I am not involved in."

We call it, "elightened self interest."



earthmom
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17 Feb 2008, 3:21 pm

All interesting responses.

Nice new avatar, by the way nominalist.

He is 63, which is 16 years older than I. He's always been a bit like this but over the last 5 years he's gotten worse and worse. I have met him far more than half way. Many years ago I went and lived on 40 acres with him (and our 4 kids) in a condemned falling apart mobile home. We had a generator and had to haul water from town. It was a survivalist/pioneer sort of thing only all the promises he made about building stuff and making improvements and bringing in electricity, never came true. He ran the generator and sat in front of the tv. End of story. The kids and I grew a big garden and raised animals and did lots of things.

As an aspie and 2 of my kids also aspie, that period of time was half fun and half absolute horror. My oldest has a great deal of resentment for those years. Everything was chaotic, no order, nothing worked like it would in a real house (no electric, no running water, etc) and we became pretty traumatized. I finally went to visit my family (who I had been cut off from for decades) and they moved me and the kids out of there and away from my husband. They put us in a nice house in town and then they all went back home to other states and I freaked out. I had constant meltdowns, first time in my life I was alone to do everything in the household including work and support everyone, and I had the 4 kids to take care of too. It was too much. I ran back and found my husband and we all moved back in together.

Overall he's not a horrible human. He is funny, can be kind, is very very calm, but he has a "who cares" attitude about everything. He eats and leaves the bowl sitting in any room he happens to be in. Unwraps an item and leaves the papers on the floor, sits in this room that is a nightmare of junk and wires and stacks of paper and mess. For the last few years he has walked around the house wearing wireless headphones, so he can go anywhere and still here his programs. That means he rarely emerges from his room but when he does you can't speak to him, he can't hear you with the headphones.

Odin - your username gave me a chill because we had a dog named Odin and my husband uses that name at times on one of his paltalk groups. :(

Another way that I joined him - I went bonkers for Y2K I not only worked on a Y2K project for a major corporation, but I made a total fool of myself there. I had listened to him endlessly talk about the world coming to an end and I believed it. I was so scared. The thing is - HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT. He just talks. So I organized a big internet group that grew to a thousand members from all over the world. We taught each other survival techniques and food storage, etc. I grew a big garden and canned. I wrote articles that got published in magazines. He sat and listened to the radio and watched tv and the computer. THE DAY came, we were not prepared with any of the things I had been teaching others about for years, and then the whole thing was nothing. Years of our lives held in constant fear, the Big Countdown to what I thought may be the end of the world, I bought into it all. And nothing.

Now he wants to start stockpiling food and talks about a garden. I raise a small garden every year, he has never even come out to see it. He does not help with it at all. The lawn is dead all year as if it's a vacant house. He won't help with it.

He won't even consider getting help, he won't go talk to anyone, and he absolutely will not take any medication. He is obsessed with natural alternative healing. He works a low hourly wage job as a security guard and spends all of his money on these alternative books and supplements. I asked him one time Why bother getting or staying healthy? for what? To sit in this room a few extra years?

He has quite a few health problems. Diabetes, poor vision, hearing loss in one ear. He will not touch a fruit or vegetable unless it's organic, will not drink a drop of tap water and drives to fill up his gallon jugs at the health food store every week, yet he eats junk food at Mcdonald's 5 days out of 7 when he's at work.

Those kinds of obvious contradictions bother me the worst.

He brags about being the "normal" one and I'm the Aspie, but this is not normal.

I have been trying to identify what this is. It's absolutely narcissism - no one else matters but him. It was always like that when the kids were little too. I looked after them and cared how they felt but he didn't.

Can anybody wager a guess as to what may be wrong with him? This has to be some sort of condition or mental illness, I would think.

I came from a family of alcoholism and chaos and things that were very confusing, and right into his arms as a teenager. I don't have a normal life to refer back to or compare, but everyone I've ever met my entire adult life has told me to get away from him because he's not right.

On the other hand I truly don't think I can function in the world without him. It may be an unfounded fear but it's real to me. I have kicked him out 2 times and each time I had anxiety and panic attacks off the charts - couldn't sleep, melted down over and over and over. I wasn't functioning so I took him back.

His favorite by the way is Alex Jones. He believes everything that man says like it is gospel.



earthmom
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17 Feb 2008, 3:25 pm

WilsonFisk wrote:
This reminds me of that guy in the tv show "six feet under". He was paranoid about conspiracies and eventually it turned out he had a problem in his brain. Have you considered getting his brain checked?


I really, really wish I could.