Are/were you a spoiled brat or a "spoiled brat"?

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When my parents were kids they ate whatever was put in front of them. If they didn't like it, they went hungry. They just had to trust blindly that what their parents chose to give them (for convenience purposes or because they thought everyone should eat like that because it was good for them) was good for them. Even when they said I could have what I want I always felt that, like, what if they were thinking about what a spoiled brat I was because I wasn't forced to make do with whatever was put in front of me?


My parents have called me a spoiled brat on many occasions when they were mad at me. When they weren't they would say it was fine, everything was fine. But still. I don't want it to happen again so I stop asking for stuff and start to get really self-conscious about what I ask for, how much I ask for, etc. and how much I help myself to from their supply of food at home, I start saying I don't want or need anything if they ask me if I want or need anything, even if I do.


Does anyone relate?

yes, for different reasons. My parents were Depression kids, my grandfather went from owning 3 dept. stores to mowing graveyards. I've heard all of that. They didn't say I was spoiled, so much as they spoiled me. The fact that they could give me whatever I needed, didn't bother me. I learned some lessons from it, and started getting what I wanted.

Now with the kids and grandkids; they grew up dirt poor, but the current grandchild has been spoiled rotten. Can't walk without tripping over new clothes and toys...sheesh...

Another thing that bothers me is that when I was 13, 14, 16, around that age, I stopped asking for things from my parents because I didn't want it thrown in my face when they were mad at me, my mother would start buying stuff for me that I didn't want and that I totally wouldn't buy myself and acted hurt and said that I should be grateful and complained I didn't use the stuff. She would have complained about me asking for things if I'd asked for them, and since I didn't she complained about me not asking for things and started this thing where I didn't like or care about special gifts people gave me and knew nothing about the value of objects and s**t.

yes growing up I was very spoiled along with my sister. My father was nuclear engineer who made some real good $$$, so mom stayed home and never worked as long as I was alive, then my sister came 2 days later.

We always got what we wanted growing up, always new toys and stuff, Christmas and Birthdays rocked and I definatly was fortunate to have had what I had as a kid and even now cause many on Earth dont have even close to that.

Even tho our generation is more spoiled then all previous, we should be thankful for what we have, cause most of the children of the Earth own very little other then the cloths on their back and maby a gun to carry with them for hunting and because in undeveloped parts of the world their is no legal system in place, and I could not imagine that kind of world and wish things were not this way for them.

I am yes. At least that is what my older siblings have always told me. It stops being cute as you enter your 20s.

I was the opposite of spoiled. With two younger siblings, I often had to tidy up their mess or do something else that I considered unfair, and as I was obsessed with things being fair, I often got into trouble with my father particularly over this and never felt that I really loved him or even liked him - he was just someone to get angry at. Of course, he always won the arguments and later in life - teenages onwards I have been very meek - obviously I learnt somewhere that it wasnt worth argueing because I would always lose, but my original temperament was to argue and to question.

We didnt have that much money when I was little and I used to worry endlessly about my parents not having enough money, them spending too much on me (the times I did get more expensive things) or even worse buying things that were then wasted (i would get very upset by things being wasted). So I wouldnt have allowed myself to be spoilt, i would have felt too guilty. If I was given anything I was grateful and would beat myself up a lot when I got given something I really didnt like as I imagined the other person being really really upset to know that I didnt like it (in fact in hindsight they would probably have prefered to know, but there you go). I remember wearing some hideous clothes my Grandma got me when 13 or 14, just because I felt that I should wear them, her having given them to me. Feeling horrible knowing what the other kids would think, but feeling that it was sort of my punishment for not liking them. I never pushed my parents for fashionable clothes - got laughed at a lot at school for my lack of fashion (never wanted to be fashionable anyway - was almost anti-fashion), but would rather be laughed at than do anything that would rebel against my parents and I was always far too scared to tell my parents (or anyone) what I really liked. If I think about it, I had no identity as a teenager, no wonder I became depressed. I actually feel I could have done with a little spoiling, to give me more confidence.

I've been classed as one from some of my family... yet there posh people themselfs, says it all really.

I was classed as "spoiled" by family members when I was a young child...but not by other people outside of the family.
When I was younger, my mother didn't have much money...couldn't really afford many extra things and we used to make do with what we had. I was called spoiled because of my fussy eating habbits, thats all. Not because I had all of the "latest new items".

Other family members on my mom's side of the family have called me a 'spoiled brat' my whole life.

My grandmother was always buying me stuff even when I didn't want it or have a use for it. I'd be in a room of the house reading a book or playing a videogame, and she'd always be bringing food or candy in, and would force me to eat it and punish me if I didn't(I'd never ask for it). The downsides to going over to her house, of course, were my cousins, always finding ways to torture me(my grandmother basically raised them while my aunt was shopping all day), and the fact that I *never* got any quiet time over at that house. She did nag constantly, and if you contradicted her, she would smack you. She believed 'children should be seen and not heard', and grew up during the great depression. But in my case, she was always nagging me because I never talked to her enough(I didn't want to and had other things in mind). She's still buying clothes/other stuff I don't need/want today even though I'm now an adult, as if she has an emotional need to be spoiling and doting. It's annoying, considering I don't want these products in the first place and especially since I disagree with the notion of supporting the sweatshops who make the crap. I'd be perfectly happy buying my own clothes from a thrift store or yard sale, but I once mentioned that to her and she started hurling insults to me and claiming I was an embarassment to her and that 'you're going to be a bum' or other nonsense.

Contrast this to my biological mother and father, whom when I was growing up, pawned my videogames off for cigarette money, sold off Christmas presents from other family members for drug money, were always dragging the kids around to bars so the parents could get drunk(even one time taking us from school straight to a bar and keeping us there until 9 pm on a school night, back in 1994, using money from their unemployment checks to pay), dragging us around to their drug dealers... I even had asthma and my dad refused to quit smoking around me, allergic to cats and my mother kept dragging new strays into the house. I My younger sister was by and large ignored by my dad, but my mother dragged her around everywhere, my older brother was routinely 'spanked' for his behavior/grades, and I was the 'spoiled child' because I was left alone(never did anything to get in trouble, but would try to stay hidden when parents wanted to drag me on 'errands' to bars/similar. There were other things I wanted to do). So the upside, I got plenty of quiet time at my parents'.



I had two extremes to choose from in childhood. Parents who seemed to(at the time) show little concern for their own children and put themselves first(dad loving opiates/alcohol/nicotine, mother loving pot/alcohol/nicotine), or a grandmother with a codependency problem and who was very sickeningly spoiling... My grandmother didn't like my brother and sister because they weren't the 'first born'(my brother is a half brother from my mom's side of the family, my grandmother from my dad's side), and thus they rarely had the option to stay over at her house to get away from the parents, and when they did, she was constantly nagging at them and critiscizing them.

They've all improved somewhat since, but my sister and I both agree that this family is "f****d up", for lack of a more succinct description. My sister likes to refer to the generations that came before us in our family as "children", and it is a very good description(because she is critical of my aunt who has wronged her, this family even bars her from Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter when my aunt is around). To some degree, all three of us were robbed of a normal childhood by adults who refused to take responsibility for themselves or their kids, and in my case, also a depression-era spoiling, doting grandmother. While there are very many families who provide far worse environments to grow up in, no child should have to deal with any of that kind of crap that my brother, sister, or I had to.



Since I was able to bypass some of it and had access to the codependent grandmother, I'm called 'spoiled' by family members on my mom's side. Crazy people. They do not know what truly happened throught. The only reason I don't tell them is because these family members have all improved in some ways(but they are still just as immature and arrogant in others as they were before).

Am have been called this often because am have always liked computers/games consoles,am remember when am lived at family home and a cousin who was nineteen years old had come to stay from Cork in Ireland,she came in bedroom and said how can parents spoil like that cause she never gets any of it.
Am had either saved up for these things or got them at christmas from family,and have never got any games console when it has just been released,have got some pre owned,and nearly always get games pre owned.
Her parents gave her money but she spent it on moving to Scotland,learning to be a doctor there,getting drunk and so on.
What she buys is not visible like games consoles but she still got money so she cant complain.
Why do people have to be so bothered about what other people have,it is stupid,am do not need another persons' belongings to judge what am want or not,like what already have.

Sister always said it about am to,she got more things than am,but am was not bothered and was okay with whatever did get.
She is still the same now,and is nearly thirty.

I am always afraid to ask for things. even when i need them. i always feel like i am imposing. even when i was little and i was supposed to add what i wanted to eat to the grocery list, i could never do it.

I can barely stand to ask my dad for money, and then when i do i get this speal about how he had to work for everything he had and how he never gave any of my other brothers and sisters any money. Even though I am the only one of his kids that is actually going through college.

I was, as my Autism made me extremely bossy and moody. However I have no self-esteem, so now I obsess about how other people are because I want to please, and so I'm not a brat anymore

Well, I think it's safe to assume I'm spoiled. And I do get very upset if I don't get my way (I often try to manipulate my mom into getting my way- like this afternoon for example). So yeah, I guess I would be considered a "spoiled brat".

Both of my parents went through WWII, and suffered. I was told as a child how 'spoiled" I was, that I had three meals a day, and didn't have to eat whatever was on my plate. Me Mum had to go back to her parents Post War, and they were so poor my grand-father sometimes had to kill game to put some meat on the table for dinner. My step-brother told me stories about going hunting him, carrying an antique rifle and stalking rabbits or squirrels so grand-ma could make some stew.

People who call others spoiled may be telling the truth, but they have no idea how to deal with it. Spoiled in my opinion often means people give you s**t you don't want because they don't understand you and for whatever reason there's a communication barrier between the two preventing the "spoiled" party from telling the other party what they really need. So the other party tries to guess and often doesn't guess right.