Do you ever feel powerless, loosing control of your life?

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I feel like I have no control of my life.

I'm unemployed
I can't hold a job. I don't know how to compete with others. The job market sucks even for the NT population.
My husband financially supports me and he just told me "no more education, we can't afford more college loans"
I want to go to graduate school.
I owe a lot already and I can't get a job to pay the loans. He pays for everything, so I don't think that it's fair for him to get more loans.
my work history sucks and I get too nervous during job interviews.
doctors don't really help me, they give me medication that makes me worse.

i was just about to make a post about this. I'm in the middle of moving to a crappy house, in a crappy area. the kind of house, that so new you an still smell the scent of the money the land developer made when he plowed down the nature. I don't want to move, i don't want to be here, i hate this house, and this neighborhood. it makes me feel very wrong inside. all the houses have the same crappy look to them.

I feel so powerless. i have no control over where i want to be.

Why didn't I see this post before? Yes I'm so powerless, I don't even drive! I have one job that doesn't pay much. I had gone to a Longview community college and dropped out. I would love to go back to school but it's expensive. Even if I did, what would I be persuing a degree in? I live with my dad and feel totally isolated. I hate not being able to make friends. I don't know if I could live on my own. My job is getting more frustrating by my inflexibility and having my shifts changed. I'm a recovering alcholic and it's hard. What will happen if my dad dies?

I feel like I have no control of my life.

I'm unemployed
I can't hold a job. I don't know how to compete with others. The job market sucks even for the NT population.
My husband financially supports me and he just told me "no more education, we can't afford more college loans"
I want to go to graduate school.
I owe a lot already and I can't get a job to pay the loans. He pays for everything, so I don't think that it's fair for him to get more loans.
my work history sucks and I get too nervous during job interviews.
doctors don't really help me, they give me medication that makes me worse.

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quite frankly, i feel like i never had, do not have, and will never have, control over my "life". and that it ain't no "life".

yes, i am unemployed. plenty of idiots had the nerve to fire me.

and i am not married. nor have i ever dated. everyone that has expressed a desire for me was somehow a creepy old man.

but whatever. half of marriages end in divorce.

and i ain't got no precious little "friends".

no $$, no car.

bad work history. almost everything fired me. and they were all minimum wage type. unskilled labor. menial jobs.



thinking about the future scares me. intimidate. worry. concern. uptight. edgy. helpless. sad. hateful. bitter. jealous

and et cetera

sooner or later, i will end up homeless. no $$ for room and board

might as well practice panhandling right now

gender identity disorder, autism, clinical depression. 6 out of 10 personality disorders diagnosed

disclosed

official

diagnostic statistical manual

thinking about it makes me wanna puke

i ain't got no job skills. everything i know how to do, all the idiots in the world know how to do.

no job contacts

extremely socially awkward

even if someone hires me, it's just minimum wage work

and, even where i live, one minimum wage job ain't enough to live off.
___________________________________________________



feel so stupid, ashamed, morally inferior and et cetera

(rolls eyes)

nothing seems to matter

nobody cares about me

and i ain't good at nothing

could hardly imagine doing any job for 40 hours a week

brain feels weak and slow

but whatever

what difference does it make