Does our society encourage abusive behaviours in women?

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Anemone
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22 Jul 2008, 11:32 am

I don't think it's abuse or stress that people avoid when they're afraid of intimacy. I think it's niceness that's scary. Because then you might start to trust the person, get attached to the person, think that person's going to be around. Then that person could really hurt you badly by leaving.

On the other hand, when someone's abusive or neglectful, you stay on your guard, so they are less likely to hurt you unexpectedly. You expect things to be bad, or at least not very good, so you aren't disappointed. You're not setting yourself up for a fall, because you're staying at the bottom to begin with.

And when you get close to people you don't really like, it doesn't matter so much if they reject you, since you didn't like them much in the first place. But if you tried to get close to someone you actually liked, and that person rejected you . . . major pain.

So it's easy to get into the trap of never trying to get close to anyone who might actually be good for you, so you won't be disappointed if they're not. Don't know if that makes sense. It's counterproductive in the long run, but makes sense in the short term.



David Colby
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21 Oct 2015, 11:26 pm

Rainstorm5 wrote:
Two reasons:

1. It's the media -- primarily movies, video games, TV, the internet and music lyrics, most of which is written by young men who like violence as an art form. Some think dominatrix-type females should be good role models for girls. Girls watch the same things and play the same games as boys do these days. So many kids are being brought up by the television instead of family, and violence is all they see. Many are sociopathic by the age of thirteen, if not sooner. It's not just their boyfriends (or even girlfriends) they abuse, it's basically anyone who pisses them off. Just read the news today. There are teenagers out there shooting people for thrills, and beating people down for the smallest slight against their character. Again, girls see this, too. Girls are just as capable of being sociopathic as boys. They know no difference between right and wrong, only what makes them happy and what makes them angry. This is what happens when things like porn and bloody violence in media/movies becomes acceptable.

2. Bad Parents. These girls were never taught that it's not right to hurt other people. Parents either abused the girls themselves or otherwise overlooked and refused to discipline them for bad behavior. Moms and Dads leave their kids in front of the TV all day long while they do their own thing and in turn the kids act out. Parent ignores them, the violent behavior is 'excused' and since there were no real consequences for the child's actions, the hurting of other people to get their way becomes part of the accepted norm. They are violent simply because they were never shown the proper way to behave. Once they're adults, the behavior patterns are set and nothing short of a near-death experience can change them -- and in most cases even that doesn't work.


I agree, violence and neglect are promoted in media way too much, but only some porn is violent.

However, all porn is too unrealistic, and can be addictive if not watched in moderation.

Nonetheless, nudity and realistic sex should be in media, since both are natural things that people do, and children should not be totally sheltered from nudity, violence, drug use, and foul language, since all are things that we humans do in reality.


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B19
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26 Oct 2015, 5:21 pm

Necroposting is not encouraged on WP, please leave these old threads alone unless there is some truly compelling reason to resurrect them, which doesn't apply in this case.

(Incidentally, the argument that things people do makes any action natural/acceptable would justify torture, cannibalism, homicide, bullying..)



elkclan
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27 Oct 2015, 1:40 pm

B19 - I totally agree necroposting is no good - but when the recommended content below is often the source of the necropost, I think it's a bit harsh to blame the user for some bad user interface. I myself have necroposted. I am more careful now, but since the forum upgrade it's so much easier to do.



dobyfm
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12 Nov 2015, 4:39 pm

Yes it does. Society now praises women who act like divas and portray the nice girl as someone weak. I have even seen this happening. The girl who is mean or brags about how she cursed out and called her boyfriend derogatory names (classy, eh?) gets head nodes. While the girl who is nice is labeled a pushover. It is ridiculous! Of coarse this does not happen anywhere, but this is based on things I've seen happening in person.



AspieOtaku
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22 Nov 2015, 1:10 pm


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