*How Many AS Parents on wp? Support Thread?*

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Are you AS parent and would you like a special support thread?
You are an AS parent and would like a special support thread 50%  50%  [ 14 ]
You are an AS parent but don't want/need a special support thread 18%  18%  [ 5 ]
You are a parent but not AS 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
You are not a parent 25%  25%  [ 7 ]
Other.. is there an other? 7%  7%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 28

ouinon
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21 May 2008, 1:26 pm

After reading Aylissa's post on the thread about Tantam's article on AS aggression, and sometimes/often feeling like an "immature, irresponsible" person because of my AS qualities as a parent on the parent's forum, was wondering about starting a long-running support thread for AS who are parents and feel excluded/marginalised, unrepresented, or misunderstood on the regular parent's forum.

So would like to know how many AS parents there are on wp, and whether they find that the Parents Forum on wp is very NT-experience biased,with the assumptions of certain capacities etc which tends to go with that, like ability to negotiate with people, organise, plan, impose routine on another, etc etc .

I know there was a thread about this recently ( Are you an AS parent?) but I can't see it anymore and I don't remember it having a poll. ( correct me if I'm wrong there, and please tell me if figures already exist for numbers of AS parents on here).

Who would appreciate some kind of forum/floor/thread for venting about problems particular to AS parents? To share experience of parenthood from an AS perspective.

Was thinking that in the absence of a whole forum for this a "sustained thread" on a slow-moving forum might do for a while instead. eg: in In-Depth Adult, or Members Only.

Please vote and post so can see if this is worth doing. :)

:study:



Tim_Tex
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21 May 2008, 1:32 pm

Not a parent, but a support thread would be excellent.


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samantca
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21 May 2008, 1:39 pm

I am a parent, and i would love to see a thread like this. Its sometimes hard to be an aspie parent among NT parents. We dont have the same grounds to build everything on, and i sometimes feel bad and/or lost when it comes to a lot of things. Very nice idea :)



PunkyKat
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21 May 2008, 2:10 pm

Isn't there already a place for parents to post?



Justthatgirl11
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21 May 2008, 2:27 pm

PunkyKat wrote:
Isn't there already a place for parents to post?


yes, but it feels more geared toward NT parents of spectrum kids, not AS parents.

I'm an AS parent w/ an AS kid, an SI kid, and what appears to be a currently NT baby.


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innermusic
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21 May 2008, 3:42 pm

It would be nice to discuss thing like - how to help an NT kid or AS (I have one of each) when you're having a hard time jiving with the other kids' parents. Maybe some chat about the kinds of things other parents seem to do instinctively in a group of other parents... I would love to see thoughts on this topic. I'm not full AS - but would say I fit the Broader Autism Phenotype (BAP). I seem to have foot in mouth syndrome around other parents, sometimes - but I'm also good at fitting in for short spurts or in an organized atmosphere. But please, don't put me at a coffee shop with 3 other moms! Torture!



drybones
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21 May 2008, 6:37 pm

samantca wrote:
I am a parent, and i would love to see a thread like this. Its sometimes hard to be an aspie parent among NT parents. We dont have the same grounds to build everything on, and i sometimes feel bad and/or lost when it comes to a lot of things. Very nice idea :)


i am in exactly the same situation. i would appreciate any support from other aspie parents



krex
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21 May 2008, 7:09 pm

I'm not an parents, so I'm not voting but...just wanted to point out that if you segregate NT from As in parents forum you can not learn from each others perspective and both might have some information that the other may not have thought of...point being ...preaching to the choir vs teaching by opening yoursef and each other to new perspective. Can that be hurtful at times...yep, but even aspies argue and disagree about many issues.

Second point is that ever since we have a womens forum....guys probably post there as much or more then females. This site doesn't refuse someone a chance to post in any section based on anything other then member or not a member. I don't think it is set-up for that capacity but I am am computer dumb, so maybe it could be done...but it never has been for "adult only" or "women".


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Dragonfly_Dreams
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21 May 2008, 8:24 pm

I am an AS parent with an AS child, married to an AS man. :lol: Yep. I could use all the support I can get.



Liverbird
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21 May 2008, 8:32 pm

I'm an AS mom with an AS kid. Living in an extremely NT world. This would be good!


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MsTriste
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21 May 2008, 11:59 pm

I have been advocating this for more than a year but it has never happened. A while back the forums (fora?) got shifted around and the "In-depth Adult Life Discussion" subforum was created. But it never served the needs of those of us who are aspies and parents.

Anyway, add me to the list of people who think that a new forum just for aspie parents would be a fabulous idea.

And for those of you who have NT parents, or don't have kids, or intend to have kids some day, consider what it might be like to be on the spectrum and have to deal with the millions of difficulties we aspie parents face. The only way I can even begin to state my share my feelings on this would be to say that parenting has almost destroyed me, innumerable times. I think there are more of us hiding in the woodwork and not able to discuss our issues, because we don't feel the support is there. Although the intent of this site is not for support, people do in fact come here for support, at times.

And for those of you who voted that you are AS but don't need support, PLEASE share your tips with the rest of us.



ouinon
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22 May 2008, 4:45 am

So a "sustained"/long-running thread for AS parents to share/freely howl/"me too"/understand each other on looks like a good idea to most AS parents.

Would the Members Only forum be best, for privacy? Or the In-Depth Adult so that non-members can read/learn/feel understood? Or ask/see if it could be a sticky on the Parent's forum? Any preferences?

I hear you, Krex, about exchanging experiences on the Parent's Forum. And I agree that it is useful to see how the "other" kind of parent "does it", for both NTs and AS, but often the forum seems to be almost all NTs, basing its advice on NT capacities, which can actually feel/be undermining, because taking so much NT stuff for granted. Feel thrust right back into NT headspace/standards.

As an AS parent I feel need to express what it is like being AS and a parent, not just worrying/talking about my AS ( or NT ) child's welfare. I feel need for understanding as an AS parent rather than as a parent of an AS child sometimes, and the Parent's Forum isn't really the place for that. It seems to be about the AS children.

Please carry on voting and posting, and indicate preference for location of a thread. Thank you. :)

:study:



samantca
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22 May 2008, 8:36 am

For me, id prefer the members only forum. The reason for this is that many of these things will be private things that we do not wish/want others to know about. I wouldnt want my family for instance googling me and finding stuff ive written about being a parent (especially not problems) online. Just my thoughts :)



drybones
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22 May 2008, 8:49 am

samantca wrote:
For me, id prefer the members only forum. The reason for this is that many of these things will be private things that we do not wish/want others to know about. I wouldnt want my family for instance googling me and finding stuff ive written about being a parent (especially not problems) online. Just my thoughts :)


yes, i agree with this - "members only" would be my preference for this too if possible



Dragonfly_Dreams
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22 May 2008, 10:04 am

samantca wrote:
For me, id prefer the members only forum. The reason for this is that many of these things will be private things that we do not wish/want others to know about. I wouldnt want my family for instance googling me and finding stuff ive written about being a parent (especially not problems) online. Just my thoughts :)


agreed.