Facing life, "Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself

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technologyforever
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30 Jul 2008, 12:52 am

Fear what and why.

Were you ever told when you were younger by a parent, "Stay away from girls" their evil (If your a male)/Stay away from boys (If your a female)", and you thought your parent(s) were actually serious? I did for the longest time then I brought the issue up with my mother, she told me she wasn't ever serious and I did not get the humor out of the joke. My mother told me this before I was diagnosed and until I was 14 I believed her until I brought the issue up. Has any one ever had something similar happen? I am no longer afraid of girls after I had faced this fact. I am now 18 years old and ready to enter college this fall. I have taken on a new tactic. I noticed when I am in a public place I am unsure of what to do socially. The answer has always been there. Just do what others are doing talk to people about on topic discussion. Now my sister says, "John will talk to anyone!", which is very true. I found inspiration through FDR, from his inaugural speech, "Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself". I have literally removed boundaries of thinking I will look stupid doing this, I don't know what to do ETC., I have replaced this with I will try and not care of what others think unless it can better my own life.

Can anyone relate or have something to say about this?



BokeKaeru
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30 Jul 2008, 1:20 am

Fear can be rational at some points. If you've observed that action/person/statement A usually leads to unpleasant result B, it's rational to avoid A and have unpleasant associations that may be summed up as having a fear of it... just so long as that fear doesn't get out of hand and become irrelevant in the context of why one fears it. I fear moving motorcycles and don't ever want to ride one because they make painful sounds and I know someone who lost part of his toe in a motorcycle accident, but if I see a parked motorcycle, I won't go out of my way to avoid it. Fear has been, and still can be, a useful means of self-protection and preservation, just not taken to extremes.

Being told to fear one sex or another is just silly, though. People are people. What they have between their legs can only say so much about a person, as a slew of other factors is likely to have influenced them in their lives, some which may be far more important to an individual's development and personality than other factors. Probably for about 80-90% of the population, convincing them to fear or avoid the opposite sex will do nothing to help them with important interpersonal relationships in the future. In this case and others involving arbitrary divisions into categories that are taught to not like or trust one another, it's more harmful than productive.



GNRfan
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30 Jul 2008, 4:55 pm

Yeah when i was younger i took TV shows and some things people told me, WAY too seriously , I was always suspected of having AS but recently i was officially diagnosed , so now years later i see why i took it so serious.



Arbie
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01 Aug 2008, 12:00 am

I didn't have to be told to fear anything, it came naturally.



plaguebeast
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01 Aug 2008, 10:19 am

BokeKaeru wrote:
Fear can be rational at some points. If you've observed that action/person/statement A usually leads to unpleasant result B, it's rational to avoid A and have unpleasant associations that may be summed up as having a fear of it... just so long as that fear doesn't get out of hand and become irrelevant in the context of why one fears it. I fear moving motorcycles and don't ever want to ride one because they make painful sounds and I know someone who lost part of his toe in a motorcycle accident, but if I see a parked motorcycle, I won't go out of my way to avoid it. Fear has been, and still can be, a useful means of self-protection and preservation, just not taken to extremes.


I saw you moving in a direction and then seem to veer off. you were doing a great job of describing how a known unpleasant situation would cause the avoidance of an known unpleasant result and I was hoping that you would go further and talk about how you can have an similar reaction to an irrational situation.

Some of us just can't get past the "fear", it's just our reality.