Verbal Communications Differences and Difficulties Sticky

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Yes, I can relate to that story (although not in the context of dealing with police).

I got to do an entire therapy session today on keyboard. I'm not sure if I explained myself better than I do verbally, but the therapist I was conversing with seemed to "get" things I wrote better than people usually do when I try to describe them verbally.

I find it difficult to speak when under pressure. When calm I can argue well, but I have to take it slowly.

One of my housemates thinks having the last word means he must be right, but others say he is immature and they don't respect him. I get frustrated, but I can deal with not being able to think of a quick answer because with him there's no point.

But harder to deal with is a housemate who is training to be a psychotherapist. To win an argument she "diagnoses" the other as having a personality disorder to make them doubt their ability to argue reasonably. She makes a harsh personal attack on the person rather than address the issue being contended.

She also makes absolute statments, saying stuff like
"this is the only way to act in this situation".
She makes it difficult to discuss alternatives by repeating "we can only act this way" whenever someone tried to put another solution.
She reminds those present "this is really uncomfortable" (and it is) but refuses to resolve the tension by discussing possible solutions, or by allowing compromise or humour to deflate it.
I suppose she wants people to give in because the stress created by her refusal to negotiate is too painful to bear. I find myself shaking and speechless at her verbal aggression.

Thanks nostromo.

If something is really affecting me I try to work out what to say and can manage it sometimes if I stay calm. It takes a lot of effort to think it through. Writing it down can help. Also it helps if the other person wants to listen and learn, instead of winning at any cost.

There are times when I don't think there's any point to correct a misconception because they need to look down on me to feel good about themself.
I noticed since I mentioned I might be AS that some people are condescending and patronising where they used to be more respectful.

I think it's a great idea! This is one of the biggest reasons I'm on here. I am not a huge talker and tend to cut straight to the point when I am talking unless it's a subject matter that I really like. I definitely want to learn how to better communicate.

I'll admit that most people probably think I'm intensely verbal just cause, I post a great deal in forums yet, most of this forums tend to have a simplified requirements in terms of what to post. In other words, it's rare you see me post something serious & profound for though, I'm good at such things due to my grammar difficulties I don't tend to post such.. Honestly, I sometimes feel as if some fellow people in the spectrum tend to do a way better job of communicating things & ideas but, this is not to imply a feeling of envy rather, I realise my written comunication skills are not as good.

There is not much else to say except that, I don't choose to bother nor burden anyone here..

I can get very defensive about myself. It gets to the point where I just blow up at everyone, and everyone is unhappy.

I am quite short-tempered, on that note....... it's just something of my nature, I guess.

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Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

If I don't interact with people outside my family for a couple of weeks, my speaking becomes rusty and is quite stuttering and halting and confused the next time that I emerge from my hole. This happened yesterday, and I noticed that my speaking was really awful in the morning, but then, it improved by the late afternoon due to speaking all through the day.

I was i "speech therapy" for most of my elementry years. I still have trouble attempting to form words correctly. I often have to have people repeat what they say as I have trouble processing spoken words. I can "hear" fine though. I love music just don't ask me to repeate what anyboday says as I will be wrong. I am far better at communicatng with my keyboard. Part my problem is I can only focus on one thing at a time. If more than one person is speaking or there is noise in the background my comprehension goes down the tube.

I have such a hard time matching concepts with the words that define them. I can recognize things in an almost amorphous way but can' t put a concrete frame around it. It' s easier when I post vs speech, but I' m forever running after a framework to contain things.
Professor X . There' s no bother or burden-- just sharing so don' t feel that you are

Talking is really hard for me, but only with people I don't know. When I have to convey my thoughts out loud, I keep my train of thought as concise and simple as possible...I hate small talk, it leads to disaster every time, mostly because I cycle through all the 'appropriate' responses about two times before I pick the right response...and by then its too late. By then the person has decided that I am extremely stupid. Worst of all, when I get really stressed/angry my words will actually slur together and my line of thought will get fragmented to the point where I hardly make any sense at all

I have been accused of being high on the job because of this

I've had some rough patches in the past where people have completely misunderstood my intentions, and there was nothing I could say to change their perceptions. I say what I mean and do what I say. That's me in a nutshell, and I don't have ulterior motives for being nice. That's how human beings are supposed to act, at least on my planet

i intended to try to write a post on how my nonverbal issues seem different than some around here .. well .. then the nonverbal issues hit .. lolol .. im hitten ..

i needed to be completely nonverbal (i mean internally too) .. yet again .. happens pretty much all the time these days .. (this time i played computer games)

it is more and more like .. suddenly im unusually lost .. then i realise .. im too verbal .. i need to go down on the real level .. the nonverbal level .. i picture a horse .. then i stay with that horse .. maybe even hugging it ..

other nonverbal news .. i have tried for eons to change apartment .. the old one is too expensive .. it is in fact my mom's old apartment.

now it seems i've finally sorted through and cleaned up this old place pretty nearly enough to be able to show it to people. The nonverbal part is that i do it completely nonverbally. otherwise .. no action . nothing .. IOW .. i plan and act completely with no internal dialogue. Otherwise it's like the entire person (me) freezes .. just stops working ..

i'm still very focused on my nonverbal issues. It seems ever more .. whatever i do or plan .. i need to stay pretty nonverbal.

Now it was time to talk to my old aunt. I realised i dreaded it quite a lot .. i felt i needed to avoid words to such a degree these days .. like as soon as i get too wordy im in agony and need to find a way to remain nonverbal for quite a while to be OK again. And how do you do that if you feel you ought to talk to aunt on the phone .. ?

well, it seems it was pretty OK. It seems the big issue is myself. Like to her it seems like not a big deal at all that i'm much less talkative .. really just answering really briefly to all she says and not saying really anything myself. Relief!

I guess i felt i will never be able to talk to my family again now that i seem to become as nonverbal as i am ... now it seems that mostly makes me non-chatty .. but not actually completely silent like i feared. I kept picturing my inner horse while we talked. it kept me reasonably OK emotionally. and it seemed she liked talking too.

Just like a calm forum is hard to digest a times.

Travel is a mock up of internal margins and map coding. Like certain lines come to different conclusions in travel terms a wad of cash always trades in for a poor third class seat and black coffee in the middle of waking hours and when you're half pressed and wondering where the next happy go lucky person is gonna bounce in and either make your day and swan off or comes in takes your paper and shrugs off a simplex hand gesture then im not really sure where this is all going.. but my non-verbal task is to really just sit back and wait to see what happens and if its too much too digest and contemplate then walk away and find a niche where I can be left alone either to think or do the job of both.
These days so much emphasis is on people and what they think rather than themselves and what makes them tick because without these tools for inner solace and wisdom you don't even gain your own advice, maybe mine is through my calm emotionally attached demeanour and in the past it was neither. so maybe I am learning a new curb or stepping stone if you like but its not been without some flaw and thought from some others who teach me through their words and their attitudes, that without life or love, you may as well be another washed up POW on the shorelines of Alcatraz or the Somme and the love you feel will guide you through a never ending maze of delight and shunned pretence of what is morally right until the way forwards becomes the new you and the rest of what ever was once preached over rationed proceedings will hold the next calling card of the west and the might reign of the south.
Proceed all mighty GOD proceed until the chapter in your next life runs out and before we all bid you a restless night and ourselves turn in may I ruffle through your next pit of doom to channel all my old useless energies into and cry truth in my sleep for a new day beckons whilst the old lay beneath a pile of old rubble damaged and torn looking for an escape.
Torture be not in the mind of the beholder but in the fear of the next eye-witness, take me and hold me at your will until I have the strength to forfeit the capture and break free from a reign of guilt and sadness.
Amen---