Cross dressing and parent hood

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Bah. If cross-dressing is something that he really wants to do, it's going to happen, and it'll be a problem. It'll be less of a problem if the problems with it don't originate from you, though.

Statistically, it's so frickin' normal it's silly, anyway. Last I read about it, nearly 20% of ordinary, heterosexual, not transsexual, American males like to dress up in women's clothes or wear girl's underwear on a regular basis. Generally in private.

No reason to freak out about it, or freak him out about it.

I must protest. By definition, cross-dressing is abnormal.

Thats no surprise. I've yet to encounter anything that you don't protest or claim is abnormal.

I'm sorry slowmutant, but I really don't get this. Do you believe God made female and male clothing and then said "Males must wear this, and females must where this!"?? I'm pretty sure that humans set those rules themselves.

Thanks everyone, between your advice and my therapist, I feel a lot better about it. She reckons I should support him, in whichever direction he chooses to go in, so long as he's happy and that he might need help dealing with society in general, if it becomes a major thing, but basically to keep going the way I was (except without the confusion). I think it was experimental, but I like to be prepared in case it's long term. Come Sunday evening (after madly shopping around for a dress and spending 3 weeks of pocket money) he then proceeded to put up a screen saver of semi clad women on his computer. I guess it's just the confusion of adolescence. I supose there will be a lot more in the future too.

Where he got the inspiration from is a whole different matter. He went for the full on hot pink lippy and nailpolish, combined with a very tasteful white and gold boob tube (I know it sounds tacky, but it was quite elegant). Somehow I don't think it was emo inspired - he seems to be very anti emo at the moment. The irony of the whole situation, is that I don't wear womens clothing or make up - so I guess I'm a cross dresser in reverse. That's why we had to shop for everything - mum's wardrobe was useless. Do you think there's a connection? I never wanted to be a woman when I was a girl, I struggled bitterly with the whole womanhood thing and was a seriously committed tomboy.
Actually now that I say it (write it), it does kind of make sense.

And therapists.... I've had my share of idiots - people that leave you screaming in rage at their stupidity, but the one we've got now is really good (expensive but good). I really sympathise with Triangular_Trees on that count.

It wasn't that long ago that pink was only for boys, and blue was only for girls

I like statistics. Appearantly that's pretty much what most men who like to dress as women do. I don't see anything confused about liking women sexually and wanting to wear their clothes, which is the ordinary transvestite thing. Like the people in Ed Wood, which was really pretty great, but keep in mind that I am the last person to ask if a movie is age-appropriate.

If he doesn't just enjoy wearing women's clothes but wants to be one, then he's some stripe of transgendered person, which is a significant problem but his alone to decide about. Since he can talk to you safely about wanting to cross dress he might win the Luckiest Transgendered person Award, though.



Well, I read the statistics a long time ago, but. If they were accurate, then if you're walking around in some completely average American locale and you meet fourteen black guys, you've also met twenty guys who dress up as women in the comfort of their bedrooms, or do drag shows, or regularly wear slinky ladies' underthings. Boggles the mind, if you can care about somebody's harmless little foibles for long enough to be boggled. Maybe it's abnormal in some sense that's got nothing to do with how frequently it's done, but it's still only around twice as uncommon as going fishing.

I'm sorry people have had bad experience with therapists, but this was what I meant. Sometimes it's the only way to work out things, even if it takes a couple of tries.

I'm glad you feel a lot better about it, and that you feel more confident in supporting whatever direction he's going in. As an LBGT person, my teen years were hard and I didn't get the opportunity to explore these issues, and as someone else posted, teens in general sometimes need to explore similar issues, whether it's gender, or just trying something on that someone's fave singer wears.

Metta and karuna, Rjaye.

That has been exactly my experience too. I couldn't have put it better!

I myself am abnormal, but my politics lean a little more to the right than most WP'ers. Duh.

Ilster,

Happening upon this I feel I must point out that, having considerable experience of related issues, the only "ABNORMAL" thing about your situation is how WELL you are dealing with it, compared to most parents.

If your son is in any way transgendered (drag to transition, and any shade in between) life will get hard at times, but not as hard as if he tries to suppress it...

Good luck both

M

I agree.

your awesome!! !

when i was about 13 i started getting into make up and womens clothes and weird clothes, my parents hated it but i did it anyway, and eventually i grew out of it,

imagine growing up in a world that you couldnt explore? it would be awful,
although you dont need to hold his had through this process,

Thank you for your vote of confidence! All I care about is doing the right thing for my son - be it cross dressing or being straight.

There seem to be quite a few Aspie cross dressing men floating around...my good friend is one.
The first real aspie I ever met in person is one...

stuff like that...

if the inclination is there, it is gonna happen one way or another.

My good friend has alot of complicated adjustment problems..but the cross dressing is one of the things that is a big source of happiness for him...