Finding Non-Superficial Women

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It's high time to start a "useful" discussion on this forum, instead of just repeating the same nonsense over and over. The best option, I think, is to look for the kind of women who aren't so shallow that they don't even give a chance to guys who are shy or lacking in "suave" social skills. Yes, most of us need to do a little work on that, but we're not suave by nature, and it doesn't matter how many times you assert the "Alpha Male" crap because that's not going to change things. The good news is that there ARE women out there who like (and even PREFER) Aspie guys... women who can appreciate us for who we are... and no, they're not all "ugly." So the question is... where can we meet these women? What's the best way to find them?

I think one place might be a library, since you're more likely to find "intellectual" people there... only problem is that it's not the best place to "socialize." What do you think would be some other ways to find them?

I think a museum is perfect. You get the same type like in libraries, but have more to talk (Like that picture...?)
Even better, if they're running some special exhibition and if they have some installations like video stuff, where you can stand longer than before a picture and have even more to talk about. Best time is the opening day, since they most likely have some kind of program running.

Good idea. If it's a museum you like, there's the chance you might even find someone who shares some of your interests.

Any other suggestions?

A library, or a bookstore that has a coffee shop in it.

Any advice on how I can find a liberal one in the Austin or San Antonio metro areas?

Don't they regularly have concerts in Austin? Are there any liberal bands who play there? If so, you might want to go to a performance and see who else shows up. Going to concerts is another thing that people do when dating. I think it also helps if you like some of the same kinds of music.

However, Tim... I would strongly suggest that you move to a different state where people aren't as conservative. Texas is one of the most extreme red states, and your prospects aren't going to improve the longer you stay.

How will I know if they are Aspies? They won't have the word "Aspie" written on their foreheads.

I cannot do another long-distance relationship. I need a liberal, female Aspie in either the Austin or San Antonio areas.

I don't know Tim... it was just a suggestion. The reason I started this thread was so that we could discuss ways of finding the kind of women, both NT and AS, who we're more capable of having relationships with... not the superficial women who would cheat on us just because we didn't have a "cool car."

Maybe they hang out in the Fantasy/Sci-Fi AND Psychology/Self-Help sections?

If you are looking for a non-superficial woman in a library or bookstore, first look for those who read Cosmopolitan and other fashion/gossip related magazines for women, and eliminate them as prospects (not a sure thing, but a good place to start). Second, look for the women who seem to be reading the entire newspaper, front to back.

The rest is up to you.

I have come to accept that superficialness or what ever are evolutionary traits that people have so they select a better mate.

You should do what you can to improve yourself (with in reason) and thus you will become more attractive, thus hopefully you will have more success.

Like for me I'm more attracted to a hot supermodel woman than an average looking woman. Does that make me a bad person? No I can't help what I'm attracted to.

Will a women be more attracted to a supermodel male than me. Yes she will. Does that make her a bad person, superficial etc.. No she can't help what she is attracted to.

It's evolution, that's life.

I don't think you want to dismiss women that you think are superficial, you may miss out on something.

MR_BOGAN, I am not dismissing all physically attractive women as "superficial." This is about finding the women who can appreciate us, instead of this constant crying over not being able to score with the women who can't appreciate us. Yes, you can "improve" yourself... to an EXTENT... but it's not worth it just to conform to some shallow cultural standard.

I'm glad you are getting proactive about it. It is pointless complaining about women.

I do think you can easierly conform to fashion a bit wearing nice clothes that suit you. That isn't that much trouble. There is nothing wrong with trying to get into shape either, it is good for your health, etc...

Everybody should give the online dating thing a go at least, that is becoming more and more popular.

Bookstores with coffee shops are actually terrible places to meet women (if you're thinking of a Borders or a Barnes & Noble at least).

bookstores are a good idea in theory... but i find when i go there i'm usually too absorbed in what i'm reading to pay much attention to other people around me... and sometimes it's too quiet to have a comfortable conversation anyway... but museums and galleries are good places i think, much more conducive to conversation and if you hit it off you can wander around the rest of the exhibit together! i've always loved the idea of that happening

also i flick through girly and fashion magazines sometimes to look at the photography (i am/was a photo major) and see what new styles are around so i can reinterpret and adapt what i like to my conservative geek style... maybe it cen be considered superficial to want to look nice but well, i'm a visual person, it's fun and it's not something that consumes my life... and magazines are also good tools for anthropological study... i like trying to figure out why certain trends have developed and analysing ad campaigns

Some kinds of sports may be another good option.

Simple jogging in a park may already do, but it's not a very communicative sport.
In Amsterdam biking works, since girls start flirting at traffic lights all the time

Team sports are better for that, but then you have to become a member of a team. I can't / don't want to do something like that, since I don't want to have the time to do it on regular appointments.
Some kind of Fitness Center where you can do some weight lifting whenever you want would work I guess.

Something that you can do in a club, but still on your own. Archery maybe. You don't need to be in a team, can go whenever you want, still have a fixed place, where lots of other people go to.