parents of children of asperger's, do i have asperger's?

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jus4u76
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24 Sep 2008, 7:45 pm

im an 18 year old female. i've been wondering for some time now. i read a lot of people's posts here and i can strongly relate to what they're saying. i've made up a list with the help from the posts and im hoping to get a diagnosis for this syndrome. first of all, i've never knew why i couldn't maintain social relationships and everyone kept going away from me and now i have 2 friends and 2 people i know, but i don't play with any of them. today i realized that i don't enjoy people and love to be by myself and do what i do alone like watching tv or surfing the internet or looking up something on the internet that im interested in. i don't think i was very honest when i was young, but im extremely honest now because i guess my ocd has gotten very severe. i actually don't want to make any friends and i find it useless because i guess i don't enjoy it. i also have a lot of miscommunication with others. my grandparents raised me and i had a lot of problems with them since i was young. i recently realized that im such a bad person and i've been wondering why im so different than others. i went to see my aunt, uncle and cousin this summer and it didn't go well at all. i had problems with my 7 year old cousin. we fight and i can't control, but to behave the same way. my aunt and uncle thought that i wasn't helpful at all when they actually invited me to get some help. my aunt thought that i was disrespectful when i was trying to show off with cool music in the basement when she came home. she told me that my grandparents were tremendously disappointed and asked me how i was going to live the social world. i wasn't concerned about this at all because this doesn't bother me whatsoever. i also have very strict routines that i stick to. my grandparents have been worrying and telling me to not exercise at night, but i have to. i thought this was an ok thing, but my grandpa started talking on the phone about how i was like this and my uncle and aunt told me that i shouldn't do something that distresses others. now i pay attention to this, but before i had no idea. my grandpa has been telling me to clean up the hair after showing for several years, but i was just living my own life and almost never cleaned. my grandpa got outrageous when i said that i was going to be living in a shared unit because of this and i realized that this was a big problem and i don't like to be early or late for anything and i want to get to the place at the exact time. my grandpa wanted me to drive me to places without rushing, but i never went out any earlier. it was always the same time and being in a rush.

i don't know if im shy or something, but i don't know how to greet people in airports and in general if i've not seen them for a long time. i also worried about if i should say thank you or not when my friend's dad gave me a ride and asked that friend which clothes go together. i also have a extremely good memory. for some time, i've been wondering where i should put my arms and was kind of embarrassed about this. i've been seriously obsessed about how im walking and sitting.

i also don't know what to say when i thought i was going to the funeral. i was really nervous about this. i tend to think that im always right without looking at the situation and it has to be my way in other people's places. for example, my aunt thought i should put the dvd's in front of the microwave for return, but i insisted that i should put it at my uncle's door, so he can pick it up as he went out. people whispering outside makes me extremely irritated for some reason and i go out looking cold. when i was young, i pushed and scratched other kid's faces. my grandma told me that she went around apologizing to people. i remember a friend taking my doll and doing something to it that wasn't what i wanted. i had this urge and scratched her face. i used to not like crying people because i didn't know how to console them. im very athletic, but i don't do good in team sports. i had this urge to punch my grandma in the stomach when i was young and she fainted. i told my friend that i got my driver's license and she congratulated me, but i didn't know if i should say thank you or not, so i went to ask my grandma if i should because i didn't want to get embarrassed.

i used to be dirty when i was in grade 9, not showing and wearing the same pair of clothes for 1~2 years. now im the opposite. i guess it's because of my ocd. i've been diagnosed with ocd. i don't like phones and i don't think i actually love anyone or miss them, but i do care for my family. im not interested in fashion right now because i have to lose a certain amount of weight before i wear any other kinds of clothes. i look very sloppy in general with same hair and clothes. i mean like what's the point of changing clothes a lot if you can live just the way you are with the things you do. i didn't call my family for a few days, but i thought that i should call everday. i have extremely complicated mental ruminations. i had attention problems in grade 2. i assume that people should know certain things and about me and if they don't, i won't do anything about it. i noticed that people were not interested in my topics recently. when im on the phone with my friend, im the only one talking, then we hang up. i think the best time for me is when im alone doing the things that i like and the way i want. there's a lot more, but i'll stop boring you. i have depression, ocd and anxiety, but im wondering if i have add, odd and asperger's.

i also never had a boyfriend before and i have no interest in getting one. i think having one would be nuisance.



Last edited by jus4u76 on 25 Sep 2008, 3:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Saffy
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24 Sep 2008, 8:20 pm

You need to seek a diagnosis from an official source, there is no way someone can make a diagnosis online for someone they have never seen.

It sounds like you do have some things you need to talk about with someone though, so getting a referral to a professional is your first step. Best of luck



annie2
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25 Sep 2008, 3:32 am

Welcome to WP. You could have AS. I guess the way to find out is either by official diagnosis, or researching it yourself.

Something that I learned at an Austism course recently, is that AS is often more subtle in females. They were explaining that the criteria for Aspergers was originally made from a study of boys, and so that is why people come up with ratios of Aspergers being 7:1 or 5:1 boys/girls. They said that new research is coming out showing that it is more like a 7:5 ratio. So, what I am getting at is that you may also need to look beyond the standard Aspergers criteria. Try Googling "Aspergers+females+criteria" and have a read of some of that stuff.

BTW the course people also said that the girls are usually the ones obsessed with horses, dogs, cats or books, and tend to spend time away from people on their own. There is also a link to annorexia in the teenage years.

All the best with working it out.