explaining AS to the average person
I have trouble thinking about how to explain the autism spectrum and my place in it to the average person Does anyone have any clever (but not glib) metaphors, analogies, or explanations that might or have worked for you? Something that won't make people roll their eyes or even become more confused would be preferred
The one we use with my son's friends?
"His brain works different. Sometimes that is a benefit, sometimes it's a burden. Some things that are easy for you are hard for him, and vice-a-versa."
I realize that isn't very specific, but given that each person on the spectrum has his or her own unique gifts and burdens, I'm not sure that there IS a better, more specific answer to give. We tend to deal with each situation as it comes up. "Oh, that is one of his gifts," or, "Oh, that is something he has trouble with."
It's a bit like being a super-computer programmed to do a select range of functions, perhaps?
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
Good question. I'm just checking in so I can hit the "subscribe" button and see if anyone has a good answer.
Off the top of my head -- for those with a sense of decency, I would say that no explanation would be necessary, and for those without, no explanation will suffice.
I'm having a bit of an attitude problem today. Again. I keep trying to crawl out, but they keep knocking me back.
I kind of like to say "I feel like a foreigner in my own country."
The author of a book I read compared it to the difficulties of being an exchange student 1000 fold.
I've heard of just saying that we act weird because are brains are wired differently or someting like that, but I can't remember.
There are probably some others I could think of. Maybe what I've said may help.
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Run or Die
well- its not pithy....
but i said to someone a couple of days ago it was half thinking and communicating realted, half sensory related. and that- like cancer- you cant tell someone has it, and there are lots of different types.
i now realise using cancer is not particually heplful, but i just ment- skin cancer is very different to lung cancer, but both are cancer - so different people will have different peaks and lows on different aspects of the thinking/comms v sensory spectrum, a spectrum being like a dart board.
(obviously i wanst trying to say- leathal disease, or anything..... and i usually try to shoe-horn in the high inteligence bit, too) .
Try this little exercise with them:
Ask the person to write any word and then draw something simple like a flower on a piece of paper. But before they start doing it, tell them to pay attention on how they do it. That is, what happens between their brain and their hand as they write/draw.
Now ask them to write the same word and draw the same picture.. with their offhand. Again, have them pay attention to what goes on between their head and their hand as they try to do this.
Once they are done, show them how different their handwriting and their picture is when they do it with their offhand. When you think about it, your brain and your hands are both perfectly capable of performing the actions yet one does not come out as good or as clear as the other. It's not a matter of practice, its a matter of how the brain is wired.
After that you can tell them that, when it comes to socializing or anything verbal, your mind is 100% 'offhand'.
Oh, like what?
The ones that are new to me are the ones that caught my attention. Like claire333's or Dantac's. The other's I've read before somewhere and so I'm familiar with already. Though I appreciate the contributions, nonetheless.
Ok, I really need to explain this to my sister. An intelligent person who has genuine good intentions, but is likely to not "get it" and come away with a let-them-eat cake attitude.
She has a 20-year old kid who, I suspect, is an Aspie, compounded by other problems. She has looked into it and has some superficial knowledge on the subject. Anyway, here goes:
Autism and Asperger’s are two ends of a spectrum that, as I see it, share two distinct and separate collections of issues. The first set of issues is related to a genuine disability. I am happy to see honest attempts to address those issues in modern society. Unfortunately, most of the people involved in the discussion today, particularly healthcare professionals with delusions of god-hood, do not appear to have good intentions and I fear that they will do more harm than good.
For me, that first set of issues is not relevant at all. I do not have a disease that needs to be cured. I have a few mild secondary issues, such as depression and anxiety. Focusing on these secondary issues is not helpful (doesn’t work) and distracts from the real issues.
The second set of issues is a tangled collection of misunderstandings and deliberate lies.
They say that, “If you’ve been at the table for half an hour and you haven’t figured out who’s the patsy, you’re the patsy.”
One analogy is: “I am sitting down at a poker game with three card sharks. They are communicating with each other, touching their nose or ear, but I have no idea what messages are flying between them. Pretty soon I am out of cash. They have cheated, but I never caught them doing anything I could point out.” (Prof_Pretorius)
This analogy is multi-layered. Some people, with good intentions, do not realize that they are “cheating,” do not know that I am clueless, and believe that they are openly communicating in plain language. Some people are half-awake and are too lazy to explain or are purposely taking advantage, but if you call them on it they will deny it. (Momma will take the time to spell it out, a stranger will not.) Some people are sociopaths (such as corporate bullies) and are fully conscious of everything they do. I believe that most people unconsciously drift between all three positions, not only within the same game but within a single sentence. And then there’s me, the utterly clueless. Throw them all together in the same poker game and you have a mass hallucination involving people who believe that they understand each other, but do not. Everyone is in his own little world and has no idea of what is really going on, but let’s all nod and smile and pretend that we understand each other.
Some accusations are based on circular reasoning. A wise man (Krishnamurti) once said, “Being well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society is no measure of mental health.”
Some accusations are simply based on hate, but pretend to be based on imagined disabilities or crimes, and around the fruit-loop we go.
Between people with good intentions, what it comes down to is a basic philosophical difference, which I could start with the simple question: Was Malcolm X crazy or brilliant? If you can not find your way to the correct answer to that, then any further conversation is pointless.
MALCOLM X: Who Taught You To Hate Yourself?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRSgUTWffMQ&NR=1
One popular delusion is that, if I just play along and pretend that I don’t know that they are consciously abusing me, my situation will improve. I am not going to play the house slave any more. It has never paid off and it will never pay. I can not appeal to the better nature of the kind of person who wants to keep me in my place because he does not have a better nature.
Another popular delusion is that I have a choice, and that teaching me a few childish “social skills,” or that giving me a few pills, will enable me to see something that does not exist, and will thus allow me to join the party. The truth is that the pigs will never let me join the party, no matter what I do. Asking me to jump through imaginary hoops for imaginary rewards is just a game they play for sport.
Most people chose the blue pill. I was never given that choice at all.
The red pill is bitter (original Matrix) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arcJksDgCOU
The blue pill is "awesome" (spoof) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbytzVW3GfU
There is no spoon. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXKFTzlBziI
The truth is that it is all a mass hallucination, and I am not plugged into it. I cannot “bend the spoon” because I cannot see the spoon. I cannot see the spoon because it is simply not there. All the spoon-training in the world will not help me if you move the fantasy spoon an inch to the left.
Most popular social fictions go right over my head, and I usually don’t even know what I’m missing. When I do catch on, they are transparent, whispy puffs of nothing, and I have trouble believing that people take them seriously. Some of them are insignificant and harmless bits of foolishness that I can evade and ignore. Most of them are harmful to both perpetrator and victim and I refuse to play.
Straight-up, unfiltered, objective reality is the only option available to me. I am both unable and unwilling to share the hallucination.
Am I arrogant and feeling morally superior? What’s the difference? I am who I am, and the basic, inborn differences will not change, no matter how much I apologize or grovel.
How am I doing? Is this close? Does it make any sense at all?
Last edited by Tahitiii on 16 Oct 2008, 8:57 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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