Gay Aspergers !

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I feel like it's definitely possible for a kid with Asperger's to get confused and think that they are gay. I mean, maybe they notice that they've never had a relationship with a girl and start to think that maybe it's because they're gay, when really it's just taking them longer than other straight guys. That being said, I'm not discounting that there may be some sort of link, and some Aspies are genuinely gay. If so, they shouldn't fight it, I'm just stating a possibility that they should look at before deciding on their sexuality. I might be going through the same thing, but I remember having some gay feelings as a kid so who knows?

Aspergified included. Though speaking from personal experience, being entirely gay and carrying the simultaneous blessing and crucifix I have personally found AS to be, the combination of both can make for quite a lonesome existence, especially since quite a lot of gays (though thankfully not all) tend to concentrate themselves into smaller areas focused primarily on "entertainment" (read: getting wasted to the most dreadful tunes you wouldn't even want to imagine) - the so-called "scene" in other words. I did meet one other lad with AS (all signs were obvious, though he did mention this beforehand when we were messaging) but he then moved away and blocked me online for no apparent reason.

Reading some of these posts, I do sometimes question if I was right to tell my family when I was 16 years old. I went to a same-sex school where most of my close friends ended up coming out as gay or bi. I never liked playing team sports but always attributed that to having Asperger's. However, now aged 21, I am fairly confident that I'm gay since I've never been sexually attracted to women whereas I have been to men.

As for the gay scene, I'm not sure what to make of it all. When I first moved from my hometown to a large university city, I was too shy to join the LGBT society because the people behind the stall looked and sounded very camp. Please note I don't intend for this to come across as homophobic - I'm not ashamed of who I am as a person but I just prefer to not draw attention to my sexual orientation in public. I still haven't gone on any socials with the LGBT society although I have ventured out to the local gay bar a few times by myself and with friends. The atmosphere was pretty relaxed and I could chat to some of the people but only after I'd had a few drinks. Even though I would like to meet someone one day, I dread to think how I would act if I were in a relationship.

When I attended college in the early 1980s as a gay student, LGBT politics became one of my special interests. While I didn?t know about Asperger?s Syndrome then (few Americans did), I realize now that my special interest is what helped me succeed (and sometimes fail) in my work as a political activist over the last 32 years.

I believe that it is easier to be accepted as LGBT by other Aspies than to be accepted as an Aspie (at least its characteristics) by other LGBT people. Conformity to LGBT social, political and intellectual norms is one of the biggest expectations in the rulebook, and I suspect that many LGBT Aspies ignore those norms as much as other norms; making acceptance by and friendships with other LGBT people difficult at best.

A relatively brief relationship and longtime friendship with a gay friend whose own friends and I believed was Aspie was educational. The good times were very good, and the bad times were very bad. I suspect that sharing special interests can help build an LGBT relationship, but other characteristics can help aggravate it, too. Combining two Aspies with different characteristics in the same relationship might not always work out.

If anyone is interested in an LGBT Asperger's group on Facebook, you can connect with others at a group called LGBT Adults with Asperger's/Autism !

I am currently looking researching this topic on sexual orientations and ASD and am very interested in learning more.

i saw the cutest boy in my physical conditioning class today. i think he's a freshman, he was wearing pajama pants.

I'm a 54yo gay guy with aspergers. I came out of the gay closet at 19, and wasn't diagnosed with aspergers until much later. As part of the Aspergers diagnosis, i have OCD which is mild, ADD, Panic disorder, and PTSD. I have sensitivity to bright lights, loud noises, crowds, and being touched.

I have only dated really 3 guys, and the longest was 2 months. I don't know how to explain it other than, I go along thinking everything is "ok" and then suddenly I'm dumped. My parents just celebrated 50 years together, and my brother 25 with his wife... so I have good examples of relationships, and I try to do all the right things... but Its just a big mystery to me.

I have 4 close friends, or at least I believe them to be. I have been friendly with them for over 20 years and they haven't dumped me, so I assume we're "good". I mean they know all the skeletons in my closet and seem to be ok with it. They know they have to explain things to me, and I dont understand social 'queues'. At work my manager knows, so if he sees me "missing something" he pulls me aside and clues me in.

I guess I should be happy that I only have the gay thing, and the aspergers thing to deal with... there are people that have gender issues, and other issues lumped on top as well. I'm not a very religious person but some parts of the Catholic upbringing stick with me... One of them was "I was sad because I had no shoes... and then I met a man who had no feet" basically count your blessings because there are people out there that are a whole lot worse off.

sorry for rambling but aspies tend to do that

I'm in a long term relationship (although we are not currently living in the same province due to factors too complex to describe here - mostly financial constraints) and I'm sure one of the reasons our relationship stands the test of time is that he's also on the AS spectrum - of this I'm sure although he's never been diagnosed.

It's certainly possible to have a meaningful relationship as an Aspie.

My life hasn't been very easy but I have a lot to be thankful for, and am glad I was diagnosed as it was the key to getting back on track.

I have a weird mental relationship with the fact that I like guys and not girls. im personally a lone wolf (but to be fair you can't miss what you've never had right?). you'd think that if your alone most of the time (and i kinda like it that way) that the whole being gay thing wouldn't come up much if not at all, yet its surprisingly relevant more often then id imagined.


that and girls find me interesting (to stare at and not talk to, i even heard one being encouraged by her friend to talk to me but she said i was too scary haha). which is really kind of annoying, why can't guys be like that?

I'm sure you're not scary. But girls think differently to guys.

I have had female friends without any romance or intimacy involved, but am fortunate to have a soul mate: a guy who understands me (almost) fully and accepts me and loves me for who I am.

Guys can generally relate to other guys better, so in my opinion it can in fact be easier to find a meaningful gay relationship than a straight one. I was a bit immature when younger so didn't get very far dating girls, especially as I knew all along I preferred the physical attraction of guys and always fantasized to guy images while beating my meat!

Making peace with being gay and accepting it took a while but happened long before I was diagnosed with Aspergers.

Gay Aspie here, also. My difficulty is that I have trouble meeting others like myself. Unfortunately, I am not at all a dominant, aggressive person, and these traits seem to be most desirable in the gay community. So, I guess I
fade into the forest like the wildlife, or become transparent like a glass wallflower. I am in a quite gay area, but I am not able to circulate. I hope things go better for all of you than they are going for me. Thank you for listening.

Hi HRE, you don't have to be a dominant or aggressive personality type to get a relationship. Neither myself nor my partner are dominant types and we are both quiet types - I'm diagnosed as Aspie a few years ago and I am certain he's on the spectrum too as he hates noise, parties, crowds etc and generally prefers animals to people, and likes to sit at the computer doing all the nerdish stuff.

I'm sure you will be able to meet someone who also enjoys quiet pastimes and wants to walk in the woods with you.

Even in straight relationships it can be tough to meet someone really compatible and who understands - so many of their marriages end in divorce - whereas my partner and I been together a long time.

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." - Dinah Maria (Mulock) Craik

I have really struggled with commiting to a relationship. I treat dating like an interview and then when it gets more serious than that I panic and have to escape. I am very uncomfortable with my body - I think I have BDD, so it makes intimacy and nudity feel completely degrading and humiliating even though nobody is saying anything to me, it just comes from my own mind.

Nearly all the guys I've ever dated wanted to take things further, but I ran every time.