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Who_Am_I
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09 Dec 2008, 7:22 am

Kirska wrote:
Why do non-NTs think every NT is alike?

Sorry but these threads just irritate me to no end. Billions of people cannot possible all behave alike.


Agreed.

Also, the behaviour that the OP complains about is not limited to NTs.


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09 Dec 2008, 8:06 am

It's not just NTs that do that. My guess is because people think whoever they are badmouthing deserves it but that they themselves don't. Alternately it is idle gossip that they just say because they're bored and they don't realise how hurtful it is for the person it's about.



Daniel41149512
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09 Dec 2008, 8:17 am

timeisdead wrote:
Reject and belittle others yet are irked when they are rejected badmouthed in return?


Yep they do that - something I didn't understand until I was about 19 (I do not do this or understand it on a non-abstract level).

I think it is called 'transference'.

Some other things:

They get upset when you answer questions which aren't really questions.

They also get upset when people are hurt, even though they don't know the people and have no reason to get upset.

They get angry when they face a logical problem rather than working through it calmly.

They are polite to people they don't like (only learned this one very recently), for no reason I can understand.



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09 Dec 2008, 8:19 am

Shadow50 wrote:
They run on the wrong types of fuel ... adrenalin and testosterone.


Everyone runs on adrenalin and testosterone.



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09 Dec 2008, 8:27 am

timeisdead wrote:
Reject and belittle others yet are irked when they are rejected badmouthed in return?

The two AS people I've known do the exact same thing, although I believe they don't realize they are / were doing it.

With the portion of NTs that do this (not all do), it occasionally is used as a defense mechanism that rears its ugly head when they feel threatened, intimidated, or overwhelmed. It is a way of saving one's pride.



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09 Dec 2008, 9:16 am

timeisdead wrote:
Reject and belittle others yet are irked when they are rejected badmouthed in return?


I've always hated this. I have a coworker who is the world's worst about this. He's such an ass, but when I've pointed out to him what an ass he is, he gets pissed. Well, if you're going to get pissed about it, don't be an ass!! I am not good with witty replies, as my mind works pretty slowly when I talk. I can't think on my toes very well. This S.O.B. has a witty reply for everything, and I always end up sitting there looking like a dumb ass and just start shouting profanities at him because it's all I can think of on the fly.



ephemerella
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09 Dec 2008, 10:23 am

timeisdead wrote:
Reject and belittle others yet are irked when they are rejected badmouthed in return?


In some kind of people, the belittling of others is a psychological way to dominate and control. So the more power the person has to "define" the other person, the more power they have in the group. It's a kind of leadership/dominance social aggression behavior (in some people).

Now, if someone does it back to them, they are being challenged in their dominating social behavior. It means that someone is trying to define them (take control of their group image) and make it into something less than what that person would like it to be.

During the presidential campaign, one of the big mistakes the McCain campaign made with handling Vice President Sarah Palin's campaign, is to keep her hidden, unavailable and inaccessible for too long. The Democrats made big hay with making fun of her and eventually Tina Fey's caricature imitation of Sarah Palin was the way the public came to view her. In other words, by keeping Sarah Palin under wraps too long, the McCain campaign essentially let a liberal comedienne who hated her define who she was, and Tina Fey's unkind caricature of Sarah Palin came to be Sarah Palin's public image. Obviously, this didn't happen in a vacuum, because Tina Fey would not have been successful in doing so if her caricature of Sarah Palin wasn't accurate in some ways. But, the fact is that Tina Fey had full rein to take Sarah Palin's obvious traits and twist or shape them into whatever meaning she (Tina) wanted to ridicule. So Tina Fey "defined" Sarah Palin, and took away from the McCain campaign the power to define her.

In politics, the people who can define other people: say this is what this person is and what he is good for to the group, this is what that person is and what he is good for, and this is what we will let this person do, and this is what we will let that person do, are the ones who are dominating and leading the group. So in that sense, belittling and defining other people is a kind of political activity that people who are trying to be more influential in the group engage in. And when someone does it back to them, it is a challenge of their power. That kind of political skirmishing -- who gets the dominant voice -- takes place all the time in groups at the edges and at the center.

Even if the person is belittling the another person out of some kind of bigotry or personal bias, it is a kind of power move, to define and dominate the other person. They are the ones who will be the angriest, though, if the person that they feel is beneath them tries to challenge their dominating behavior by trying to belittle them back.



anna-banana
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09 Dec 2008, 10:28 am

timeisdead wrote:
Reject and belittle others yet are irked when they are rejected badmouthed in return?


that's more AS behaviour than NT from what I've seen.


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timeisdead
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09 Dec 2008, 10:39 am

Quote:
They are polite to people they don't like (only learned this one very recently), for no reason I can understand

They do it to gain a person's favor (especially a boss or professor), in order to get ahead in the world. For others, it's because they believe doing so is a sign of having good manners.



timeisdead
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09 Dec 2008, 10:46 am

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They are polite to people they don't like (only learned this one very recently), for no reason I can understand.

I also hate this as well. I can't stand faux politeness and can see it from a mile away. In order to deal with this (if that person has no power over you), you must conduct yourself in a way that expose the true extent of their hatred for you. Simple questions can send them into a seething rage. This, in turn, can be used against them.



Jael
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09 Dec 2008, 10:49 am

timeisdead wrote:
Reject and belittle others yet are irked when they are rejected badmouthed in return?


Why do some people stereotype and generalize about others, but protest when others do it to them?



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09 Dec 2008, 10:59 am

Jael wrote:
timeisdead wrote:
Reject and belittle others yet are irked when they are rejected badmouthed in return?


Why do some people stereotype and generalize about others, but protest when others do it to them?

Notice I never used words such as all or every in my post? You may be saying that I implied that every neuro-typical partakes in this behavior, but it couldn't be further from the truth. There are behavioral trends in our everyday world. Generalization can be used to speak about these patterns; after all, do we not do so with animals outside of the human species?



ephemerella
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09 Dec 2008, 11:01 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:
Kirska wrote:
Why do non-NTs think every NT is alike?

Sorry but these threads just irritate me to no end. Billions of people cannot possible all behave alike.


And why do non NTs complain about NTs taking our words out of context but yet we turn around and do it on here?

That also irks me too.


Some behavior is behavior that NTs are more likely to engage in than we are. Some behavior is behavior we are more likely to engage in than NTs are. NTs are more likely to engage in political backbiting (and that is what belittling someone in the group really is) than AS. It is as silly to say, "You are saying that NTs are all alike if you say that they do something" to people who have so much difficulty figuring out complex social behavior. If you have to start each question by taking all the possible combinations of who exactly does what into account (HOW MANY NTs, exactly, engage in social belittling of other people in a group), an AS person will never get started trying to understand social behavior. No one would get any questions out.

Seeing as how AS people are always stuck with being told we should be this and we should be that, or we're not really AS or we're not "good" AS people but the "bad" ones who aren't making the most of our traits, it seems a little ridiculous to put NTs on such a pedestal. Some people blow up if anyone just tries to question NT supremacy. It's like some people think that NTs are The Ones who are right and good and we are just the impaired scum and if we try to discuss NTs we have to do so in a respectful and scrupulously (worshipfully) clear manner.



timeisdead
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09 Dec 2008, 11:10 am

ephemerella wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
Kirska wrote:
Why do non-NTs think every NT is alike?

Sorry but these threads just irritate me to no end. Billions of people cannot possible all behave alike.


And why do non NTs complain about NTs taking our words out of context but yet we turn around and do it on here?

That also irks me too.


Some behavior is behavior that NTs are more likely to engage in than we are. Some behavior is behavior we are more likely to engage in than NTs are. NTs are more likely to engage in political backbiting (and that is what belittling someone in the group really is) than AS. It is as silly to say, "You are saying that NTs are all alike if you say that they do something" to people who have so much difficulty figuring out complex social behavior. If you have to start each question by taking all the possible combinations of who exactly does what into account (HOW MANY NTs, exactly, engage in social belittling of other people in a group), an AS person will never get started trying to understand social behavior. No one would get any questions out.

Seeing as how AS people are always stuck with being told we should be this and we should be that, or we're not really AS or we're not "good" AS people but the "bad" ones who aren't making the most of our traits, it seems a little ridiculous to put NTs on such a pedestal. Some people blow up if anyone just tries to question NT supremacy. It's like some people think that NTs are The Ones who are right and good and we are just the impaired scum and if we try to discuss NTs we have to do so in a respectful and scrupulously (worshipfully) clear manner.


Amen! It's as if political correctness (according to NTs and those who hate to question their ways) has kept us from obtaining the answers that could get us further in life. The last thing we need is a bunch of wishy washy reponses. To a great degree, most people rely on some form of generalization. If we don't use all-encompassing terms such as all or every, we are usually not those behavior traits as exclusively neurotypical or even implying that there are not many exceptions among them.



ephemerella
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09 Dec 2008, 11:22 am

anna-banana wrote:
timeisdead wrote:
Reject and belittle others yet are irked when they are rejected badmouthed in return?


that's more AS behaviour than NT from what I've seen.


I think that AS people can be hypervigilant and inappropriately defensive when attacked (or when they think they are attacked). But I don't think that it's accurate to say that they tend to be instigators, proactively going out and rejecting and belittling others.

It's taking the OP's words out of context, to forget that first part. I think she's referring to a patter of social aggression where you have a verbal bullying instigated by someone and then they being upset by being subjected to the same behavior.



ephemerella
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09 Dec 2008, 11:37 am

Not only is this typical NT behavior, but it is NT behavior that is (as I pointed out in a previous post) very political in nature. Fighting over your image and how you define others and how others define you, is the core and bread-and-butter behavior of NTs who are political animals. It is what underlies a lot of the verbal aggression and bullying (personal attacks and belittling) that goes on in workplaces and social groups.

[url=http://www.mail.com/Article.aspx?articlepath=APNews\financialnewsigtech\20081209\Blagojevich-Corruption-Probe.xml&cat=money&subcat=financialnewsigtech&pageid=1]Ill. Gov. arrested in Obama successor probe[/url]
December 9, 2008 11:03:59 AM EST
By MIKE ROBINSON

"Federal authorities arrested Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich Tuesday on charges that he brazenly conspired to sell or trade the U.S. Senate seat left vacant by President-elect Barack Obama to the highest bidder.

"Blagojevich also was charged with illegally threatening to withhold state assistance to Tribune Co., the owner of the Chicago Tribune, in the sale of Wrigley Field, according to a federal criminal complaint. In return for state assistance, Blagojevich allegedly wanted members of the paper's editorial board who had been critical of him fired. ..."

I think the OP asked a great question, and should not be bashed for being disrespectful to NTs.