What Do Women Mean by the Word Respect?

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Deinonychus
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03 Jan 2009, 4:50 pm

Well the following rules thing and the being dependent on others. I see how you wouldn't want someone dependent on you but why would it matter if they were dependent on others? I don't see how that undermines their respect for you. And why do they have to be a rule follower? Any rules in particular?


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Fnord
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03 Jan 2009, 5:05 pm

I had a girlfriend who used me for a punching bag and a scratching post - sometimes both at once. I pulled the "Hit me once more and I walk" routine and ended up walking. After this, every time she met one of my friends, she would ask why I don't respect her.

"Respect" in her case meant something like "Stand still and let me hurt you."


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03 Jan 2009, 5:24 pm

aries wrote:
Well the following rules thing and the being dependent on others. I see how you wouldn't want someone dependent on you but why would it matter if they were dependent on others?


I thought I answered that one when I told about my ex.

I don't know then. I guess you have a point. I just don't want them doing it to me. If I see them do it to other people, I would think they are that kind of person and they would do it to me too. I didn't see that in my ex when we met until we were together and he was living with me.



aries wrote:
I don't see how that undermines their respect for you. And why do they have to be a rule follower? Any rules in particular?


I would like him to set an example for our children when we have them. I don't want them to learn it's okay to break rules because their daddy does it and think it's okay. Sure they will see it from other people or hear about it but kids learn from their own parents and copy them and think that behavior is okay.

I once knew a guy who did road rage and was dishonest. He would get speeding tickets and plead not guilty to the judge so he would pay a less fine and I then knew, "Not for me." I didn't want to have kids with him and have them learn all that stuff from him. He even did road rage when I was with him by tail gating a guy. He told me the rest about himself.


I hope I those answer your questions :D



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Deinonychus
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03 Jan 2009, 8:06 pm

Yeah makes sense now.

What if the rules you broke were bad? And if you were a rule breaker you were doing a good thing or helping someone? For instance the Nazis in world war two. They were just following orders or rules. If they'd have broken them....
This article highlights what can happen when people follow rules without questioning them: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7791278.stm
Just something to think about maybe?


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03 Jan 2009, 8:36 pm

aries wrote:
Yeah makes sense now.

What if the rules you broke were bad? And if you were a rule breaker you were doing a good thing or helping someone? For instance the Nazis in world war two. They were just following orders or rules. If they'd have broken them....
This article highlights what can happen when people follow rules without questioning them: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7791278.stm
Just something to think about maybe?



That be a good thing. If someone told me to go beat someone up or pull the fire alarm, I would say "no." If someone told me to go jump off the bridge, I would say "no." It's also about using common sense when someone tells you to do things you know is wrong to do so you don't do it. I have heard about kids getting punished for doing things just because their friend told them to do it so the parent asks them if someone told them to do X, would they do it. If their friend did X would they do it too. It's also to teach them to use common sense and to know "just because someone tells you to do something doesn't mean it's okay."
If I told my boyfriend to kill someone and he did, we would both get in trouble with the law. Me for telling him to do it and him for following through.

I had difficulty time following what the article was saying BTW. :oops:



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04 Jan 2009, 12:07 pm

The article was just demonstrating that ordinary people are capable of torture because we/they tend to follow authority figures i.e. rules. I'm just trying to justify my being a rule breaker :D


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04 Jan 2009, 12:12 pm

A rule breaker without a cause. 8)


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04 Jan 2009, 3:45 pm

TBH, when people tell you to do somethigng wrong or illegal, you still aren't folliwing the rules when you follow through because they were basically telling you to break the rules.


If a parent made rules in her house and one of her kids told his siblings to bring food upstairs and they all know their mother doesn't allow food out of the kitchen but this siblings brought food upstairs anyway because their brother told them too, they still broke the rules. Doesn't matter if they were told to do it. Their older brother broke them too by telling them to bring food upstairs.



Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 05 Jan 2009, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Deinonychus
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05 Jan 2009, 12:56 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
A rule breaker without a cause. 8)


I have a cause. Be a good person and enjoy myself :D

Quote:
TBH, when people tell you to do somethigng wrong or illegal, you still aren't folliwing the rules when you follow through because they were basically telling you to break the rules.


Where do you draw the line? How do you decide whose rules are right? Do you just take the highest authority? In Hitlers Germany it was illegal to harbour Jewish people. But if people hadn't have helped them then they would have faced certain death. I think that's an ok reason to break rules.


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05 Jan 2009, 12:58 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
A rule breaker without a cause. 8)


I have a cause. Be a good person and enjoy myself :D

[quote="Spokane_Girl]TBH, when people tell you to do somethigng wrong or illegal, you still aren't folliwing the rules when you follow through because they were basically telling you to break the rules. [/quote]

Where do you draw the line? How do you decide whose rules are right? Do you just take the highest authority? In Hitlers Germany it was illegal to harbour Jewish people. But if people hadn't have helped them then they would have faced certain death. I think that's an ok reason to break rules.


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05 Jan 2009, 2:10 pm

aries wrote:
MissConstrue wrote:
A rule breaker without a cause. 8)


I have a cause. Be a good person and enjoy myself :D

Quote:
TBH, when people tell you to do somethigng wrong or illegal, you still aren't folliwing the rules when you follow through because they were basically telling you to break the rules.


Where do you draw the line? How do you decide whose rules are right? Do you just take the highest authority? In Hitlers Germany it was illegal to harbour Jewish people. But if people hadn't have helped them then they would have faced certain death. I think that's an ok reason to break rules.



Hard to say. Common sense. I don't now.


Hitler was one of the worst people in history and wiped out the Jewish population (killed over 6,000,000 Jews). He had teens fooled about them because they would turn them in and the Nazis would come and haul them off to concentration camps. Some rules are stupid to follow. I am sure you heard about dumblaws? They are so stupid people don't follow them. In Oregon, you cannot have ice cream on Sundays. Now who follows that rule? I doubt anybody does. I have broken that rule. Who is going to know? Even fast food places break that rule too because they will still sell it to you.
In Spokane you cannot buy a TV on Sunday. I doubt any Spokaners follow that rule. Those rules are so dumb it doesn't make any sense.
Now some places are talking about to making oral sex (or was that anal?) illegal. WTH, that would be a rule anyone would break because how is anyone going to know they did it?
Is the gov going to place cameras everywhere, even in homes to make sure people follow their stupid rules? This isn't 1984.

I have even ran across the road during a green light when there weren't any cars coming and this be at night or on Sundays when there hardly be any traffic. In Spokane I saw these teens running across the crosswalk when the light turned green and I almost did it too but decided not to because just because they were breaking that rule doesn't mean it's okay. Boy was I glad I didn't do what they did because I saw that they were stopped by an officer. I dunno if they got a ticket. I didn't stay and listen. I would hate to get a Spoketicket. I would be lucky if I only got a warning, maybe if I said I was from Oregon and cars always have to stop for pedestrians, maybe he would have let me off the hook with a warning. He would just tell me the laws are a bit different in Washington than in Oregon about crossing. :wink:
The cars did start to go when the light turned green but the teens decided to cross so the cars had to stop to wait for them to go across. I heard him accuse them of jaywalking and they were clueless about their actions.



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05 Jan 2009, 4:28 pm

According to women(though not officially), Respect== pandering to their needs(and sometimes wants), not treating them as an object, not acting too parental/trying to control them, being *sensitive* to their feelings.



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08 Jan 2009, 11:04 am

If you have to question or wonder about a potential relationship, it's time to "fahgetaboutit!" It's up to you if you want "Pain" in your life. Think about the game called "Perfection" by Hasbro. Would you sit there after the timer went off and still try to squeeze a star shape into a triangular space? Of course not! If the game were an animal, it would've bitten you by now. Sometimes guys and girls think that people they are interested in are playing hard to get when actually they're not interested at all. If someone "were" actually playing hard to get, why do they feel they must play hard to get? Are they "that easy"??! ! Isn't it difficult enough just to get to know another person without them playing childish games. It takes time to get to know someone. In this day of killer diseases, I'd really get to know someone first and for a long time before any sort of intimacy comes into play...even a kiss! Germs can kill.



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08 Jan 2009, 11:56 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
If you have to question or wonder about a potential relationship, it's time to "fahgetaboutit!" It's up to you if you want "Pain" in your life. Think about the game called "Perfection" by Hasbro. Would you sit there after the timer went off and still try to squeeze a star shape into a triangular space? Of course not! If the game were an animal, it would've bitten you by now. Sometimes guys and girls think that people they are interested in are playing hard to get when actually they're not interested at all. If someone "were" actually playing hard to get, why do they feel they must play hard to get? Are they "that easy"??! ! Isn't it difficult enough just to get to know another person without them playing childish games. It takes time to get to know someone. In this day of killer diseases, I'd really get to know someone first and for a long time before any sort of intimacy comes into play...even a kiss! Germs can kill.



Um.................WAAAAY off topic RightGalaxy. Did you even read the post above you??? :?