Asperger's, moral conservatism, swearing and dirty jokes
lionesss
Veteran
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,305
Location: not anywhere near you
Yes! This happens to me with swearing, bawdy jokes, and general lewdness. I either get an apology (often sincere if, as zghost noted, coming from an older male) or a guilty look, as if my (apparently perceived) demureness, ladylikeness, or childlikeness has been compromised. If there have been sarcastic apologies, which I'm sure there have been, they've gone over my head.
I've also gotten quite a lot of shocked reactions about my smoking, mostly back when I did smoke but some even now. "You, a smoker???" they'd say, as if I'd just suddenly announced that I was from outer space. "But you don't seem at all like the type!"
Eventually I got somewhat fed up with this and started asking *why* they had thought this, and with such conviction. Often the answer (if there was one beyond "not the type") ran along the lines of my being too proper, or "pure," or conservative, etc., etc.
_________________
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." -Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
***
NLD undiagnosed but fits like a glove.
I swear (though not excessively) and I don't mind dirty, lewd or profane jokes. Additionally, no one apologizes for anything to me. Actually, it is usually me that who has to do the apologizing after making jokes or comments that are deemed inappropriate. Not always dirty or profane either, quite often just brutally honest--lacking minimal tact.
In fact, comical story:
I was in a business meeting (phone conference) with several other co-workers and a customer. Having just transfered from another state, I was not very familiar with all the personalities. People where joking about one of the customer's employees only whispering during the conference as a result of a co-worker who is usually quite rude and crass to her. I chimed in with, "It's probably because she doesn't like you."
Luckily for me people thought I was making some sort of joke and laughed it off. It still is brought up to this day that I "successfully" managed to say something apparently rude and get away with it under the guise of a joke.
I swear more than anyone I know, so no one apologizes except my mom. And I don't understand that--why apologize for using a word that's used in a completely inoffensive way? Like we're playing Mario Kart and she'll go "Oh s**t!" when her kart goes the wrong way, and then she'll go "Excuse me!" But it makes no sense--she knows no one in the room will be offended by it, and it's not offensive to say it to begin with.
Moreover, I don't believe for a second that the use of "curse words" indicates a limited vocabulary. To the contrary, LIMITING your language is what does that.
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