Joined: 28 Dec 2007
I don't enitrely understand it either. By "suddenly" I mean my perspective and atittude toward babies has completely reversed in about a year. I always thought it was the highly caring, sensitive, happy women who had always wanted children were the ones crying when they saw new born babies but now I do the same. Kids disgusted me. I used to brush it off and not care but now even fake movie births get to me, let alone the shows on TLC.
It's not monthly hormonal. It's not biological clock per say because I'm only 22. My poor fiancee has to deal with this crazy person who is now super emotional about something she wasn't when they met. I feel sorry for him because I know from a very logical perspecitve it's ridiculous. There are a lot of health things we'd predispose a kid to if one happened in the future so we shouldn't and won't.
Has this happened to anyone else? You are ambivalent about children and then pregnancy becomes overly interesting and important?
Joined: 9 Apr 2008
Location: Birmingham, UK
It's something weird that happens to most females. Something makes them think they want children when they really don't
I don't have Aspergers, I'm just socially inept
Dodgy circuitry! Diagnosed: Tourette syndrome. Suspected: auditory processing disorder, synaesthesia. Also: social and organisation problems. Heteroromantic asexual (though still exploring)
Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Joined: 20 Aug 2006
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library
I didn't want to have children, but when the 'oops' happened I stepped into the role of fatherhood.
With you ladies, it's primarily hormonal, and a bit of indoctrination.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Location: Middle of Nowhere, Maryland
I think this happens to everyone. Every girl I know says she doesn't want children. At that rate, there will be no next generation. So obviously people change their minds.
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world...looking really funny because nobody has eyes." - Jon Lajoie
Joined: 28 Dec 2007
Meh. A lot of the girls I went to school with spoke of children in their future and some even started before we graduated.
I can't get indoctrination to fit in my head either. I'm an only child-as are all of my cousins so it's not like I was raised to really like or want children, even if they are siblings etc around. My family certianly doesn't push for traditional gender roles so there isn't that expectation either.
It's like this curious craving that I feel so guilty for having and I can't make it go away because there doesn't seem to be a specific cause.
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Montreal, for now
Some women grow up wanting babies. Some never want them. But a whole bunch of us don't want them, because we're sooo not ready, then when we're older we change our minds, because we did kinda want them all along but now we're in better shape to have them.
I had an aunt who said she'd never get married (she was living common law at the time, age 19). Five years later they got married. At that time she was still saying she'd never have kids. Five years after that they were breeding. She was a good mom, too. She just didn't want to go there until she was good and ready.
Of course, just because you start wanting kids doesn't mean you're ready right now. But you're ready to think about it, maybe train for it.
I was really uncomfortable around babies when I was younger. Then I studied developmental psychology and got comfortable around them, curious even. But the "I want to have kids" stuff didn't hit until my mid-30s.
Joined: 27 May 2007
Location: In the girls toilets at Hogwarts, washing the blood off my hands.
I'm getting that now too. Never really desired children so much, just thought if I got pregnant, then I got pregnant. Now I want children so much. It might be because I'm really comfortable and confident in my relationship, who knows? But I know I'm not in the right financial situation to have children right now, as much as I want them.
We are the mutant race!! !! Don't look at my eyes, don't look at my face...
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Joined: 27 Apr 2008
Joined: 18 Mar 2007
I never really wanted children of my own before I met my boyfriend (if I was going to have a kid in the future, I wanted to adopt, since I'm not big on the idea of giving birth and dealing with all of that. I'm more afraid of that aspect of having a child than of actually raising it), but now I kinda want to have my own kids someday. I'm not sure if it's because he's the only guy I've really been attracted to enough to want to create a person that is half me/half him, or simply because he keeps bringing up the subject of what our kids would be like if we had them (with us as the parents, we've pretty much determined that they'd be pretty f-up, but in a good way!), and got the idea in my head. I think he actually wants kids more than I do, which is weird, since usually guys don't seem to want kids even after they have one on the way. Hopefully by time we're at the point in our lives where it wouldn't be completely stupid and irresponsible to bring another human being into the world, I'll be over my fears about pregnancy and giving birth, but who knows?
Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Seriously, though. It probably is hormonal or something. Perhaps your 'biological clock' just started up (not in the way that it's usually meant - that you're running out of time - but in that it's actually working now).
From what I hear - It's common for young women to start wanting kids. Everytime I mentioned to someone when I was younger that I do not want kids, they'd tell me that I will change my mind in the future.
I'd say if you actually want them then there is no issues. It's when someone is persuading you to get pregnant when you don't want to or being pregnant by accident that is the issue.
I just saw this part:
In that case, I'm not sure what to tell you
Last edited by mitharatowen on 07 Jan 2009, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Joined: 6 May 2008
Grandma called it the "Baby Trap." She said there is something about that age (early- to mid-twenties), being around the same man for a year or more, and having a stable domestic life that triggers the maternal urge. She also said that it's especially strong after such a woman gets a whiff of that "new baby" smell many infants seem to have right after they've been bathed.
I suspect that it may be hormonal and/or triggered by human pheromones, diet, sexually-released endorphins, and overall contentment.
But I'm not a medical professional, so the foregoing is only an opinion or WAG.
Only appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health
professionals can make an official diagnosis of an ASD.
Online tests can not provide an objective ASD diagnosis.
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