Finding an Aspie girlfriend?

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DustinWX
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06 Jan 2009, 11:19 pm

So I know usually the whole online dating thing doesn't work and I've always been against it, but I've been thinking that it would be nice to meet a girl who isn't a super NT. Don't get me wrong these girls are cool and all but it would be nice to talk to someone who didn't judge you for your awkwardness. So any suggestions or ideas with this?



t0
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06 Jan 2009, 11:22 pm

You're better off finding a girl who doesn't judge you and then figure out whether she is NT or something else.



sunshower
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06 Jan 2009, 11:23 pm

I was always a proud advocate of NT/AS relationships, but lately I haven't been so certain of myself in this. When I really think about the characteristics I'm looking for in a guy, they're very AS. However, I think online relationships are a bad idea. I think you had to have met them in person to know if there was mutual attraction there.


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Tim_Tex
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07 Jan 2009, 1:53 am

Kilroy
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07 Jan 2009, 3:23 am

I wouldn't really want to date an aspie, they are too secluded and stuff
I like my social go-go existence that seemed to have came to me lol



familiar_stranger
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07 Jan 2009, 3:36 pm

some girls out there prefer the awkward/timid type of guy, you don't need to have aspergers to not judge someone.

you can meet all sorts of people out there, you just need to know where to look and what you're looking for ;)


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dalekaspie
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08 Jan 2009, 12:06 pm

never met an aspie girl in my life so i wouldnt know



messygeek
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08 Jan 2009, 12:08 pm

The girl I'm in a relationship with has a significant impairment, although different than AS its much easier to understand each other.



Ticker
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09 Jan 2009, 12:46 am

Aspies have such a difficult time finding someone who will accept them and put up with all their oddities. I think you are short changing yourself if you only look for AS girls. Especially considering its more likely to find a compassionate NT who will put up with you than find an Aspie who is compassionate. Putting two people together that both have social awkwardness, emotional issues and sensory issues sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Moral of the story don't put all your eggs in one basket.



TheMaverick
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09 Jan 2009, 12:43 pm

any aspie girls in perth austalia, just let me know



Tim_Tex
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09 Jan 2009, 2:26 pm

About how easy or difficult would it be to come up with some sort of compromise on something with another Aspie, if such a situation arose?



Kangoogle
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09 Jan 2009, 2:34 pm

DustinWX wrote:
So I know usually the whole online dating thing doesn't work and I've always been against it, but I've been thinking that it would be nice to meet a girl who isn't a super NT. Don't get me wrong these girls are cool and all but it would be nice to talk to someone who didn't judge you for your awkwardness. So any suggestions or ideas with this?

University is probably the best place - just make sure they are undiagnosed. A maths lecture theater and its related societies are prime hunting grounds.



mitharatowen
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09 Jan 2009, 2:45 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
About how easy or difficult would it be to come up with some sort of compromise on something with another Aspie, if such a situation arose?

Excellent question.



JimmyNeurtonRules
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09 Jan 2009, 2:48 pm

t0 wrote:
You're better off finding a girl who doesn't judge you


Agreed



Hector
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09 Jan 2009, 2:54 pm

I disagree about internet relationships not working, I've seen plenty that do. I think there's just a slight stigma against it at the moment because it's new territory to people, so naturally they think it's bizarre. Some, like me, also have had bad personal experiences but that doesn't make the success stories irrelevant. And the place where you'll find the most female aspies is on WP or similar autism sites. There's also Aspie Affection. Of course you'll be in a minority, and find that a large portion of the women are taken, but that should reflect reality.

Furthermore, I don't believe that telling yourself "I'll get interested in this because I fancy this girl" or "I'll try to join this group in order to meet new girls" is the right mindset to have, at least from my experience. At the very least you'll find yourself more nervous than you ought to be due to the sort of expectations you have.

That said, it might be worth joining an AS support group if there are any in your area, especially if you just want to meet other aspies without expecting to find the love of your life. People often speak of the supposed differences between women with AS and men with AS but what I noticed were the similarities, maybe you'll find this as well.



mitharatowen
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09 Jan 2009, 3:03 pm

I agree with Hector in that I don't believe it is good to look for relationships. I've done it when I am interested in finding one - every guy I meet I think to myself 'hmm what about that guy' and I hate it because it puts a film over everything and makes it harder to see people for who they are and just get to know them without pressure.