The Surfer Dude's Bible

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Translate any Bible verse into surfer language. I'll do Genesis 1:1.

You have to read it with a surfer/stoner voice:
"Whoa! Like, at the beginning? Of this whooole thing... this God Dude made, like, the sky and terra firma, you know what I'm sayin', bro? I'm talkin' totally from scratch, man -- like... out of nothing."

...Or even just a Bible story:

"This Esau dude, he was Jonesin' for some soup, right? Ha.... ha... ha.. ha.. ha ha............ Oh, sorry... spaced out there... (That babelini's hot, bro...)"
[Extinguishes joint]
"Anywayzzz... the dude was noodled from some mega hunting, like, all day long,
goes to his li'l bro Jake, he's all, 'Sha, I totally need some o' yer righteous grindage.'
Dude's like, 'Nah brah, I need yer birthright first'. Esau's all 'Nooo WAAAYYY dude, nacho!'"



(I can't finish this, I'm laughing too much! Feel free to if you want to. Here's the surfer dictionary: http://rippinh2o.com/dropzone/surflingo.shtml#t)