Do you feel fake asking people how they're doing...

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...when you don't really care, as long as they're well enough to be standing in front of you?

Do you feel that OTHER people are fake when they spend like a minute asking how you're doing and stuff, when you know they don't really care?

Yes and yes.

the question I hate getting the most at work, besides "do you work here?" is "how are you?" I always seem to actually consider my answer, asking myself "do they really want to know?" now I pretty much just say "ok" and move on. I know its part of that congenial conversational act, its just that I think they really don't want to know how I really am. sorry, felt the need to vent there.

to answer your question, yes I do.

Yes on both accounts. I feel like when people ask me how I am, they're using it as an opportunity to blab about themselves more than they care about how I'm doing. I don't bother asking people how people are just for that reason.

no, yes

i never ask people how they're doing. if i want to know how they are then ask them in such a manner that they don't think i'm blowing off they're feelings.

i had a teacher in high school who would pass me in the hall saying "Hey, how ya doing?" and not give me any time to respond. she was a really nice teacher but just a little too blatantly nice at times. at coffee shops they always chum you up with "hi, how ya doing?" talk and i find it rather annoying. a lot of the people in the coffee shop i used to work in were like that. half the time i couldn't tell if my fellow employee even cared to hear me. it felt really fake. one person who worked wasn't like that. of course, she had been there for seven years and could do almost anything and not get fired. lucky me she left and i was left with the smiley crew.

oh, the best "how ya doing" person i've ever known is my college success teacher. he always reacted excitedly know matter what i said in response to his monotonously cheery question.

"so, how ya doing?"
"um, okay i guess."
"Great!"

that was during exam time. real bugger exams are.

I don't ask people, they ask me.

Sometimes I say 'brilliant' as sarcasm but no one can tell when I'm being sarcastic.

it's not really a question; it's more an acknowledgment of your presence. Just say something positive, they really don't care; whether NT or AS.

I definitely feel fake asking people how they are. I only do it because I know it is expected as the usual greeting, and someone has probably asked me first. So when I'm asked that question, I just respond with, "Pretty good, and how are you?" That is always my line so it is automatic for me now.

I like asking people how they are because I don't mind if I get a real answer. If the person tells me what's going on, I can empathize and try to help.

When people ask me how I am, I realize that they are really saying, "Hey, it's good to see you" or some such and I don't take it literally anymore. I just say, "I'm good," or "I'm doin' okay" or something equally generic.

I seldom feel real when I ask this. I don't ask it very often because I am not interested. I only ask my parents.


I do not like to be ask this either so I don't do it to others except my parents when I am interested how they've been.

I feel fake doing it.

I also find it very awkward to execute the proper response (to the fake query) unless prepared for it, or if nervous, distracted, and it feels awkward in every instance.

Heh, I've got a good co-worker who is working with me in just this department. Since I recently transferred from Indiana to North Carolina all of my co-workers are fairly new to me. He told me I was completely rude when I would walk in and go straight to my office and not say hello to anyone. So now, I do. Usually I just wave as an acknowledgment, so I don't myself feel fake.

I did feel that most people were being fake right after Thanksgiving when I had to tell about seven individual people how my Thanksgiving went--and listen to theirs. It was then I realized my problem--I really don't care about people's life events if they can't be extremely concise about it.

I don't ask people how they are unless I actually want to know. And I don't like it when I get asked that question, because I still struggle with the concept that they don't really want to know. And most of the time, I don't want to tell them, because a lot of the time I'm feeling stressed or anxious or overloaded, and you're not supposed to tell people when you feel those things. Although, apparently there are some people who really do want to know how you are, so you're meant to actually be truthful with them. But I can never figure out how to tell the difference between those people and all the people who don't want to know after all. So I always reply 'well thanks', because it is the most grammatically correct answer, according to my year 10 english teacher. For some reason that lecture-fragment has stuck in my head for the past six or seven years and influenced my entire philosophy of pointless, information-poor interaction. Now I'm so used to saying 'well thanks' to people that I even say it to my psychologist and psychiatrist, even though they're the very people who are paid to actually care about my answers to their questions.