Would you choose the big apple or the small apple?
Seems that now even though I am grown, I still think such things to myself. I don't matter much, I'm just a kid.
corrupting auntie millie here, mith
now, iam one of 8 kids and my mother actually rang a friggin bell for mealtimes. if you have seen the old ma and pa kettle movies, then you can see ma kettle with her bell. My mum did that. seh looks nothing like ma kettle, but teh bell ringing was a part of mylife. (my mum is f***ing weird.)
i fought for everything to survive really.
i was a little feral animal. still am.
i went for the big apples.
I am a guts for life.
nya nya nya.
Well, yes, it all might cook down to the way you were brought up. That placed you on a track that's problematic to leave. I don't mean you in special, millie(but your story rocks), just all of us. I was curious to know how maybe the childhood inflected our adulthood life. Maybe too much black and white, but I feel it's important for ppl and myself to know why we react in certain ways, in given occations.
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I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez
sartresue
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Apple of my eye topic
Lots of ways to look at this. An Aspie thing.
1. Take the big one and split it, sharing.
2. Refuse both. Say you want something else.
3. Take the big one and trade it for two small. There are always more than two apples.
4. Sometimes the big apple is infested with a worm. Do not let the size fool you.
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One of my father's friends was always first in line for the cookies at the monthly dances, so I guess I had bad role models.
At the cottage we had one of those big cast iron triangles that you could hear all over the lake, so my mother didn't have to shout when dinner was ready. Getting to ring it was fun.
The way the poll works is that you have to click the button next to each option, so that when you post there's an extra empty field. I had problems the first time I used a poll, too.
RockDrummer616
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elderwanda
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I think taking the small one is generally the decent thing to do.
This reminds me of a scene in "The Joy Luck Club" (the movie, but possibly the book, too). There is a family, mostly made of young women, and they are sharing a meal. They pass around a dish full of something, like fish, and each take one. Later on, one of the young ladies' mother said, and I paraphrase:
"I notice you chose the smallest, worst-looking fish, and left the nicest ones for the others. Everyone else chose the biggest, best one they could find, and were thinking only of themselves. But you are different. You chose the worst quality fish, because you have the best quality heart."
Of course, some unscrupulous people will take advantage of a person who always chooses the worst-quality for themselves, because if they want the best, all they have to do is offer you the first choice. So, if you feel like you're with someone who is like that, you can say, "Oh, thank you so much for giving me first choice. I think I'll take this nice big one, if you don't mind! *chomp!*"
I would take whichever apple was nearer me! Or the small one, if they were equally close!
My mother always said that it was rude and selfish to choose the best or biggest of whatever was offered, so you should always take the one that was closest.
Someone close to me told me recently that I had always been too compliant. This is something I've been working through with my counsellor, and it seems to fit with my pattern of always doing things for others, but never asking or expecting anything for myself.
I am thinking about this now, and maybe this is what you meant originally, mosez. I am wondering if our view of the world has something to do with it. Since we tend veiw things in terms of 'rules' rather than just guidelines, a person with AS may see something like what elderwanda posted and internalize that as a 'rule.' You should always take the worst things to be a good person, ect.
If someone were able to veiw that as a guideline but not a hard and fast rule, they might not have a problem with taking good things now and then. Whereas someone who views it as a rule would feel terribly guilty if they ever took something nice for themself.
If someone were able to veiw that as a guideline but not a hard and fast rule, they might not have a problem with taking good things now and then. Whereas someone who views it as a rule would feel terribly guilty if they ever took something nice for themself.
Think you're right, here. I was thinking in those lines. I also take something good for myself now and then. I guess it all depends on how one is brought up, some rules from the childhood still sticks, somehow
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I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez
This reminds me of a scene in "The Joy Luck Club" (the movie, but possibly the book, too). There is a family, mostly made of young women, and they are sharing a meal. They pass around a dish full of something, like fish, and each take one. Later on, one of the young ladies' mother said, and I paraphrase:
"I notice you chose the smallest, worst-looking fish, and left the nicest ones for the others. Everyone else chose the biggest, best one they could find, and were thinking only of themselves. But you are different. You chose the worst quality fish, because you have the best quality heart."
Of course, some unscrupulous people will take advantage of a person who always chooses the worst-quality for themselves, because if they want the best, all they have to do is offer you the first choice. So, if you feel like you're with someone who is like that, you can say, "Oh, thank you so much for giving me first choice. I think I'll take this nice big one, if you don't mind! *chomp!*"
That was a good one. I would not bothered if I new someone was an egoistic bastard. I think some of the things we was brought up to, stick to us for the rest of our lives
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I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez
Trying not to overthink it, I would go for the big apple. I've gotten--or allowed myself--only the small apple for most of my life. I hated myself and didn't think I deserved any better. Now I'm getting over that and yes... this time I'm finally going to grab the big one. Hooray!
Assuming that the big one is of the same quality, taste and not riddled with worms, of course (but that's what I mean by overthinking it).
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"That isn't damage. It's proof of what you can survive."
- Joanne M. Harris, The Testament of Loki
Seeing the title, I thought this was about cities. I was wondering which city the small apple was!
As a kid, there was no way I wouldn't have taken the big apple (unless it was something I didn't want, or something on it I didn't like). I looked out for myself when given a choice (although I might have wondered what the catch was), but I've always been bad at getting into it when it's a free for all frenzy.
Now it could go either way, depending on what it was, and who I was with. With loved ones, I always want to share equally, with strangers or other people I'm indifferent to or even dislike, I have no problem being selfish. In a store, I would pick the best (best looking/ biggest/ whatever) product, I don't care that someone else ends up with a lesser product.
Under some circumstances (like having to face them again, and caring about not looking like douche, or even just not wanting to get off on the wrong foot) I would feel awkward taking the biggest, best thing (unless it was just too good to pass up), but that is to make my life easier in the long run.
If I don't want it or am indifferent, then I'll pick the smallest.
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I would throw both apples into the blender and turn them both into one mass of apple sauce, and then split the apple sauce evenly between me...and...whomever.
I kinda get what you mean. In some situations I might get an attack of humility and do the equivalent of picking the smaller apple, and in some the opposite and pick the bigger. I don't really have a consistent response either way.
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