Does anyone else HATE sex sometimes?

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I haven't any official diagnosis as most of the others on this forum and stumbled into this thread by accident, but I still agree with the previous posting. I believe the Powers That Be, whoever that may be to each of us, created us as sensual, loving creatures that shouldn't feel ashamed, sickened, or grossed out by making love to someone we trust.

That being said, I too have a hard time having sex with anyone. It was one of the reasons why my marriage of seven years dissolved and my husband at the time actually asked if I would let him hire a callgirl to sleep with since he wasn't getting anything for me. As apalling as that sounds for a husband to ask a wife, at least he didn't sleep with hookers and then bring in all that nastiness back into our bedroom.

I believe this hard-wiring as Facto explains must've been messed up early early as a child. I have no proof, but I remember having an uncle who -really- liked little girls. I don't know if I was ever sexually abused, but something messed me up for the rest of my life. I hate sex. I dreaded it so badly I practically hyperventilate because as I'm kissed, I can see in every painful detail exactly how the movie plays out. Kissing, then foreplay, then the actual sex, and it seemed like once the movie started I was helplessly along for the ride.

Is it normal? No. I'm sure we all agree that while we're not alone with our thoughts, it just doesn't feel like the way we're reacting is how it was intended. I'm all for saving relationships by discovering what needs fixed, but at the same time I'm happy with my feelings. I'm happy knowing that I don't like sex, don't want it, and living perfectly happy by myself now with no regrets. So I suppose after this whole huge blob of words what I'm trying to say is none of us should be worried about fixing something if we're happy with the way it turned out. Don't ever let someone else tell you that just because Nature intended us to like sex and we don't, that somehow makes us misfits.

I come from a family 5'7' or taller and all have brown hair, brown eyes. I'm 5'4 and have fiery red hair. I have no intentions of spending money dying my hair or getting leg implants to fit in with how Nature made the rest of my family. I embrace my weirdness.

The following words may contain information that is just plain wrong. I failed god school

Nature rolls the dice. If she wired you to not like sex, that is ok. Not exactly a darwinian survival trait as you are not likely to pass this preference on to your children, so from that point of view it is an "error". That does not mean that you can not be happy. Sometimes an error is more difficult to handle, as in you are a hot woman but with a mans brain and you want to have sex with women, but as a man. Fortunately, we now posess the technology to sort of fix that, though I understand that it is easier if you have a mans body and want to be a woman.

The only thing that could be a problem is if you are not wired that way, but as you indicate, adults did inappropriate things with you, and your mind has adapted by taking its current positioin. Because wiring a person to not like sex is so rare and unlikely, I do suggest that you invest some time, and perhaps money (though you may find good free counseling at liberal Jewish, christian, unitarian, or quaker/friends churches --- the ministers do get some training in handling personal problems) talking this over with someone who is trained. I suggest this because your brain may just be faking it. It really is hard to tell. If your brain is faking it, then problems could arise later. Or not. And I would not suggest this exploration except that you stated

I have no proof, but I remember having an uncle who -really- liked little girls. I don't know if I was ever sexually abused, but something messed me up for the rest of my life. I hate sex.

It is seldom good to bury a problem rather than fix it.

One othe clue is: Do you like your body? Specificially what is your feeling about your female parts. If you think that they are yucky than I would suggest that may be evidence that your uncle, not nature, made you the way that you are. This is evidence that you are not in harmony with your core nature. On the other hand, if you like your female parts, or are indifferent to them, than perhaps you are just a freak (non perjorative statement) of nature.

Note ... many of the above statements may be wrong.

Hate hate hate tongue kissing ewww my heckles are up now lol! Don't like.sex much either and avoid as much as possible. Also dislike the soft touches or ANY touches lol!

well.. I do like touching when it's happening and when it's my bf doing it.. I enjoy the feeling and sometimes even ask for more. But the problem is. That almost right away when we're done, i go all off. I start feeling disgusted and sick, i might cry for hours because i feel dirty. And it's all about touching only with hands and fingers, sometimes just through pants or something.. No actual sex. Because my bf is so scared of traumatizing and hurting me and says he sees I'm not ready for it.. Kissing i don't like, it's somehow scary. But i like his quick pecks on my cheek or the corner of my mouth. But like, the real KISSING.. Eww.. It makes me feel sick...

No, I love sex. I Adooooooreeeee foreplay, it's just lovely. So romantic. I gets me really really aroused.
I can't have sex without foreplay.

If I hated it I wouldn't do it. If there is some aspect of it that just doesn't feel right at a particular time, I don't do that. I don't understand why so many women just put up with something they hate and pretend to like it (especially aspie women). I would hate to be the partner of someone who did that. It's unfair to both of you, and seems to rest on sexist assumptions (enjoying sex is for men, and women just need to put up with it whether they like it or not).

ETA: Actually, I can understand it and when I was younger I would have sex to please my partner, but at this point in my life I would never do that and I actually enjoy it much more and more frequently than when I had that attitude.