Do others post threads undermining you?

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Do others post threads undermining you?
Never, they post threads explaining my relevance and brilliance to others 9%  9%  [ 2 ]
I think people posted threads closely related to my discussions, to explore a side topic more 39%  39%  [ 9 ]
No one posts any topics related to my agendas, I'm out there, with unique subjects 17%  17%  [ 4 ]
People post threads that take digs at the things I take stands on 17%  17%  [ 4 ]
Alex is out to get rid of me using an army of closet harassers 17%  17%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 23

gina-ghettoprincess
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13 Mar 2009, 1:54 pm

Tantybi wrote:
gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
Not threads, but individual posts. When I said about my mum taking my stuff away, someone said in another thread something about "spoiled brats who think their parents abuse them when they are punished". I'm SURE that was aimed at me. I never said anything about abuse anyway, other people said that for me. :roll: And I'm not spoiled.

My mum's taking my stuff away again now and all. Not just the internet and DVDs, either, EVERYTHING. I'm on here now cos she'll be taking my laptop really soon. I have had to hide my iPod, phone (I don't trust her not to look through it), diary (ditto), and some books. She's trying to make my home life suck so I'll go back to school. Epic fail, cos anything she can throw at me will still be better than being insulted by random chavs at school. And besides, I am almost never bored at home, I have too many thoughts to get bored.


Have you ever, and this is just an idea more so than any suggestion, considered going back to school online?


I haven't suggested that to my mum, but that might be an idea. She will probably say it'll make me spend too much time on the internet, but I'll try anyway.


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ephemerella
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13 Mar 2009, 2:03 pm

millie wrote:
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
From what I have seen, legitimate users of this site can be sensitive in their WP posts when they choose to be...


this is probably the nut in the kernel.


"legitimate users of this site" meaning people who are not insensitive/unempathetic like those evil "elite AS" who you think intentionally are being insensitive or unempathetic? Are you implying that there is a class of AS on this site who are socially sensitive and who have theory of mind?

Criticizing higher functioning AS for not having enough social insight and empathy, seems to me to be the pot calling the kettle black.

You should not take offense at what you think is the insensitivity of one kind of AS against another. It is probably unintentional and part of the lack of theory of mind. And once you start trying to read too much into someone else's motives between the lines, how do you know your own lack of theory of mind isn't leading you to make wrong guesses about what they mean?



millie
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13 Mar 2009, 2:06 pm

HFA, LFA, IQ?

i prefer LabPet's take on these issues and find it regrettable that an interesting thread is reduced to these rather tawdry classifcations in a post above. (I respect Callista's views on IQ too.)

How the hell does IQ relate to the delightfully left field antics of the autistic brain?

i'm outta here. 5 am here in australia. time for coffee and painting in the studio.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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13 Mar 2009, 2:14 pm

By "legitimate users" I meant everyone but the trolls. Obviously, we aren't going to talk the trolls into politeness and sensitivity since they are trolls, and their intent is to be disruptive and get reactions.


As for the second part of your post...I have seen sensitive posts posted by people with AS so it is possible. You have to think about things a little. You can learn some of it. None of us live in a bubble and we all have experience to draw on.



Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 13 Mar 2009, 2:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

ephemerella
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13 Mar 2009, 2:16 pm

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
ephemerella wrote:
gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
Not threads, but individual posts. When I said about my mum taking my stuff away, someone said in another thread something about "spoiled brats who think their parents abuse them when they are punished". I'm SURE that was aimed at me. I never said anything about abuse anyway, other people said that for me. :roll: And I'm not spoiled.

My mum's taking my stuff away again now and all. Not just the internet and DVDs, either, EVERYTHING. I'm on here now cos she'll be taking my laptop really soon. I have had to hide my iPod, phone (I don't trust her not to look through it), diary (ditto), and some books. She's trying to make my home life suck so I'll go back to school. Epic fail, cos anything she can throw at me will still be better than being insulted by random chavs at school. And besides, I am almost never bored at home, I have too many thoughts to get bored.


I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds as if depriving you of things in your special interest is one way your mother thinks is a good way to discipline or manage you. But interfering with an AS's special interest is really torture, disrespectful and almost abusive. Your mother should respect your interest and your things. If she is trying to shut down your life enjoyments to try to control your social decisions, she'll probably only succeed in making your life suck more in general. Is there some way to talk to her about how she is making her parenting decisions? Sounds like she is feeling a lack of control and is trying to get control via your things.


I have tried to reason with her in the past, but she just gets angry and says I don't know how to do as I'm told. That's because if I'm told to do things that are stupid and illogical, I won't just go along with it like a sheep.

This has all started again cos I didn't go to school this morning. She doesn't understand that I don't actually make the conscious decision not to go to school, some days I physically can't drag myself out of bed. It's not like I enjoy not going, I just wanna be normal, but I can't.


I used to skip school, too. I wish I didn't because that set me back many, many years in life. I'm not sure what you have, but I have an avoidance thing. I got so beaten down struggling with the social disability and being told that I was intentionally acting this way or not acting that way (social skills) that you just give up. That's like someone who lacks feet on the ends of their legs constantly being told to stop wobbling and walk in a straight line. Being forced to perform in an environment that is hostile and irrational, where you can't control the behaviors you are told that you are in control of, is overwhelming. It's hard to make a free choice to get up and go into that irrational, disorienting environment every day where you can expect to be mistreated and/or embarrassed at any time!

All I can say is that if you don't come up with some kind of strategy to make yourself go out there and get by, some way to have a rational experience in the real world, you might end up always unable to face it. If you can come up with some kind of strategy or toolkit (like meditation, religion, compensating, etc.), early in life, it will pay off for you all your life.

Here I'm telling you this when I quit working last year and am hibernating in my own little cocoon world, hiding from the stress and defeat of the real world. I feel like a hypocrite, saying these things to you!

My point is that it won't get easier. Learning strategies, tricks, or coping mechanisms that help you get up and out and face the real world, at least some of the time, is something that can make the rest of your life better. But it will get easier in some ways. If you do well in high school, you can go to college online now, and have jobs that match your special interests, if you have some. A lot of people get college degrees online now. You have to graduate from high school first, though.

Your mother is trying to influence your behavior with threats against your things, because it seems like she feels out of control and she feels like you're choosing to be the way you are. But it seems to me that what she wants for you, that you go to school, is the right thing for you, even if her methods are kind of disrespectful and misguided.



ephemerella
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13 Mar 2009, 2:18 pm

millie wrote:
HFA, LFA, IQ?

i prefer LabPet's take on these issues and find it regrettable that an interesting thread is reduced to these rather tawdry classifcations in a post above. (I respect Callista's views on IQ too.)

How the hell does IQ relate to the delightfully left field antics of the autistic brain?

i'm outta here. 5 am here in australia. time for coffee and painting in the studio.


I'll look up LabPet's posts.

I find most people on here very insightful and interesting, I don't tend to think of any of the actual posting members whose posts I read as being low-functioning. I thought that with the "low functioning" we were all talking about a group of posters who aren't on these threads today.



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13 Mar 2009, 2:21 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
..But you have to remember...everyone is capable of basic good manners and a certain degree of politeness. Doesn't matter if they are lower functioning or higher, NT, whatever. I honestly don't know where you are getting the idea that LFAs are angry and critical. I haven't noticed that.
Also, it's mean to compare us to each other and then say some of us are like we are because we are lazy scum. I know you aren't the one who said that.


Oh, well that's true. I try intentionally to be sensitive and empathetic when someone posts a problem they are having and asks for advice or feedback.

I can get insensitive and offensive at times during abstract topics (like this) because I'm a geek and get caught up in the arguments and proving right and wrong. When there is some vague abstract discussion -- not someone's personal issue -- I think that's when I piss people off. Because I'm not thinking about being sensitive like I am when responding to someone's personal issue.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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13 Mar 2009, 2:32 pm

True, it's just people get lost on the IQ issue because it's hard to measure it. I, personally don't trust IQ tests that much. To me they're overrated and people take a high score on one as a sign they are genius, the chosen one and anyone else you can think of. It's all about ego. Kudos to the people who score off the charts and keep it to themselves. Whoever you are, you have my upmost respect.
Ephemerella, it seems like people use IQ scores as a bullying weapon, sometimes.



millie
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13 Mar 2009, 4:04 pm

Ephemerella, LabPet is cool on the subject and has that scientific brain to explain it far more efficiently than i can.
My autistic left-field skills and antics lie elsewhere. (creative, not scientific.)

as for IQ - my son is in a gifted program now at school, at age 6. both his parents would be classifed "gifted." The school rang me this week asking for permission to have a formal IQ done, as his giftedness in a couple of things is quite marked.
I have consented, because a test will get him the extra work he needs to prevent him from becomign bored and disruptive (as his mother did, at school as i got older.)
however, i have grave concerns about this system of intelligence measuring. we have consented to the IQ test BECAUSE it is the main way in which he can have his needs met within our free and fairly limited education system. it is so narrow and biased and while i am happy my son has spiked areas in his abilities, it is important one does not get lost in these classifications. i would prefer they just gave him heaps of extra work that he considers "fun" without all the hoop jumping.

KingdomOfRats also raises important issues re the autistic debate too.


MY bet is those threads that are started and the issues raised in the OP have more to do with immaturity, personality and other issues than HFA/LFA or IQ.



Last edited by millie on 13 Mar 2009, 4:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

13 Mar 2009, 4:26 pm

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
Not threads, but individual posts. When I said about my mum taking my stuff away, someone said in another thread something about "spoiled brats who think their parents abuse them when they are punished". I'm SURE that was aimed at me. I never said anything about abuse anyway, other people said that for me. :roll: And I'm not spoiled.


That must have been my post sorry. That is directed at anybody who complains about being punished. I see too many posts here saying it's abuse to take things away from your aspie kids and I just get sick of it. A 15 year old kid running away from home because his dad took his Xbox and lot of people acted like the father was wrong to do that and it was okay for him to keep stealing money and keep skipping school just so he can stay home and keep playing online. Lot of kids don't like being punished, even I hated it when things got taken away from me too when I was growing up. Barbie dolls were my favorite, so my mother would take them away when I be bad and the punishment would work but it stopped working when I was nine so she had to find another punishment to give me. Lot of parents takes things away from their kids as a punishment when they misbehave or they disobeyed them, etc.

I don't know why your mother is taking your stuff away. I don't know if she is doing it for a consequence. I don't think I ever saw that post you made or remember it. I don't remember every single post here I read or who said what.



13 Mar 2009, 4:32 pm

I don't get paranoia that someone is talking about me. If it's obvious then I know they were referring to me but that doesn't mean they remember whom said it. I am the one who is always using "spoiled brats" so when gina-ghettoprincess mentioned it, I knew she was talking about me but I don't know if she was leaving me nameless or just didn't remember who said it.

But I did get a paranoia one time when a member here mentioned a member here who insisted she wasn't a troll but she went around attacking others so yeah she is, I got worried she was talking about me even though I never went around attacking members. But I have said I wasn't a troll so it made me paranoid.



Tantybi
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13 Mar 2009, 5:18 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
True, it's just people get lost on the IQ issue because it's hard to measure it. I, personally don't trust IQ tests that much. To me they're overrated and people take a high score on one as a sign they are genius, the chosen one and anyone else you can think of. It's all about ego. Kudos to the people who score off the charts and keep it to themselves. Whoever you are, you have my upmost respect.
Ephemerella, it seems like people use IQ scores as a bullying weapon, sometimes.


Well I think people who boast about their high IQ is lying or is in a position where they are left with no other option. People who actually do have a high iq (as well as many with a low IQ) are capable of realizing that the test only measures so little of your intellectual ability. Like, oh hooray, I'm good at English, vocabulary, math, and looking at some shapes. Like the concept of analogies. The only people who really don't make the right comparisons are those who didn't know the definitions of all the words. Memorizing all the words and their definitions in no way displays someone's ability to think and learn. Ability to memorize does play a small factor, but you are talking a lot of freaking words. That's just one language. Math, that's just what you are taught and have learned thus far. Being taught more than the average doesn't make you smarter in my mind. It just makes you more educated. But you can get smarter through the process, but just going through it doesn't make you more intelligent. I personally think intelligence is based on things like being able to apply what you learn. Like someone thinks I'm smart because I have a basic understanding of trignometry. Oh whooptie doo. I can stick a number in the calculator and hit the sin button. No what I think makes me intelligent is that I can measure the length of the flag post by measuring my distance from it and angle to the top of it. I can also perform some calculus functions, but I have no idea how to apply that into life. So what's the point in knowing that?

But I have to admit I throw the IQ card out in cases when people call me stupid. I had a friend call me stupid once, and I did throw out my IQ and the fact that I finished high school (unlike my friend) and have some college under my belt. But anyone who knows me knows I wouldn't boast about my high school diploma like it makes me better than others, and same with my IQ. It's just to prove how stupid it is to call me stupid.