Had a chance to get a girlfriend online, but I blew it...

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Lonermutant
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02 Jan 2006, 4:36 am

For 2 years I had off/on contact with a girl online (who said she was 20) who I suspect was only attracted to me because I'm a musician. I had to break of contact with "her" because "her" e-mails made me suspect she was a 14-year old boy and not a 20-year old woman. It was bad because she talked a lot about how she (at only 4"10 1/2/149 cm herself) said she had more acceptance of how people looked. The distance was too far and as I said before, I got paranoid.
During a chat I just told her that I was Autistic (she did know I was an Aspie), didn't have an education and that I wasn't really a good musician and that I just wanted to sleep with her.
I still feel like a fool for breaking off contact with a person that could have accepted me as I am maybe because she's an outsider herself because she's so short, but with my bad social skills I was to scared to let it go further. She sent me a picture and she was gorgeous. I want to e-mail her again but I don't dare to. I don't think she's hurt in any way.



hale_bopp
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02 Jan 2006, 6:30 am

Lonermutant wrote:
For 2 years I had off/on contact with a girl online (who said she was 20) who I suspect was only attracted to me because I'm a musician. I had to break of contact with "her" because "her" e-mails made me suspect she was a 14-year old boy and not a 20-year old woman. It was bad because she talked a lot about how she (at only 4"10 1/2/149 cm herself) said she had more acceptance of how people looked. The distance was too far and as I said before, I got paranoid.
During a chat I just told her that I was Autistic (she did know I was an Aspie), didn't have an education and that I wasn't really a good musician and that I just wanted to sleep with her.
I still feel like a fool for breaking off contact with a person that could have accepted me as I am maybe because she's an outsider herself because she's so short, but with my bad social skills I was to scared to let it go further. She sent me a picture and she was gorgeous. I want to e-mail her again but I don't dare to. I don't think she's hurt in any way.


Well at least you didn't lie. Who are you kidding? Do you think things would have been better if you lied and she liked you for a while, and then found out?

PS. can I see the picture?



Lonermutant
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02 Jan 2006, 7:10 am

No, I never got to know if she could accept what I am.

I deleted the first picture she sent me, but she was wearing a leopard tanktop and a short black skirt... She didn't have much curves as she was very thin (she was a ballet dancer and studied to be a ballet teacher) but she was pretty.



toddjh
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02 Jan 2006, 8:08 am

Lonermutant wrote:
I still feel like a fool for breaking off contact with a person that could have accepted me as I am maybe because she's an outsider herself because she's so short, but with my bad social skills I was to scared to let it go further. She sent me a picture and she was gorgeous. I want to e-mail her again but I don't dare to. I don't think she's hurt in any way.


Why not give it another shot, then? The worst-case scenario can't be any worse than the status quo, can it?

Jeremy



Lonermutant
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02 Jan 2006, 8:20 am

toddjh wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
I still feel like a fool for breaking off contact with a person that could have accepted me as I am maybe because she's an outsider herself because she's so short, but with my bad social skills I was to scared to let it go further. She sent me a picture and she was gorgeous. I want to e-mail her again but I don't dare to. I don't think she's hurt in any way.


Why not give it another shot, then? The worst-case scenario can't be any worse than the status quo, can it?

Jeremy



The problem is that she lives too far away from me (more than 700 kilometres) and now I've basically told her I'm a fat ret*d (I made the "Autistic" part of it sound worse than it is). And basically I would have treated her as a cheap prostitute as I'm not interested in a long-time relationship.



jman
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02 Jan 2006, 8:51 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
For 2 years I had off/on contact with a girl online (who said she was 20) who I suspect was only attracted to me because I'm a musician. I had to break of contact with "her" because "her" e-mails made me suspect she was a 14-year old boy and not a 20-year old woman. It was bad because she talked a lot about how she (at only 4"10 1/2/149 cm herself) said she had more acceptance of how people looked. The distance was too far and as I said before, I got paranoid.
During a chat I just told her that I was Autistic (she did know I was an Aspie), didn't have an education and that I wasn't really a good musician and that I just wanted to sleep with her.
I still feel like a fool for breaking off contact with a person that could have accepted me as I am maybe because she's an outsider herself because she's so short, but with my bad social skills I was to scared to let it go further. She sent me a picture and she was gorgeous. I want to e-mail her again but I don't dare to. I don't think she's hurt in any way.


Well at least you didn't lie. Who are you kidding? Do you think things would have been better if you lied and she liked you for a while, and then found out?

PS. can I see the picture?



Hale_bopp,

What a cold and mean reply! :x Lonermutant came here for support not your personal opinion on the matter.

Lonermutant,

you should have given her a chance to really get to know you before you shared such intimate details with her. I mean actually meeting her person.

When people get to know people and they really like them, they tend to see past their imperfections.



Lonermutant
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02 Jan 2006, 10:00 am

Jman, she saw my website where I have written about my Asperger's.
I didn't really want a "relationship" with her, I just wanted to sleep with her. She was really too young for me.



hale_bopp
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02 Jan 2006, 4:40 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
Jman, she saw my website where I have written about my Asperger's.
I didn't really want a "relationship" with her, I just wanted to sleep with her. She was really too young for me.


Well then you should try messaging her, if she wants the same thing, all good, if not, just have a look around for someone else.

I think its good you could be honest about this issue, it is much better to be up front than pretend you want a relationship.

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Hale_bopp,

What a cold and mean reply! Lonermutant came here for support not your personal opinion on the matter.


If members want to be pandered to there should be a pandering forum. I was offering a good, honest opinion. I actually think its good he's being honest with himself about not wanting a relationship.

Although Loner Mutant - Try not mentioning the autistic part if youwant to bed someone ;)



Lonermutant
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02 Jan 2006, 5:00 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
Jman, she saw my website where I have written about my Asperger's.
I didn't really want a "relationship" with her, I just wanted to sleep with her. She was really too young for me.


Well then you should try messaging her, if she wants the same thing, all good, if not, just have a look around for someone else.

I think its good you could be honest about this issue, it is much better to be up front than pretend you want a relationship.

Quote:
Hale_bopp,

What a cold and mean reply! Lonermutant came here for support not your personal opinion on the matter.


If members want to be pandered to there should be a pandering forum. I was offering a good, honest opinion. I actually think its good he's being honest with himself about not wanting a relationship.

Although Loner Mutant - Try not mentioning the autistic part if youwant to bed someone ;)




The point is that I don't dare to have any contact with "her" anymore! I'm to scared! What is she is really some junior high boy wanting to embarrass me? Because of my pretty non-existant social skills I don't trust people. I have to avoid them for my own good.



MindOfOrderedChaos
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02 Jan 2006, 8:39 pm

jman wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
For 2 years I had off/on contact with a girl online (who said she was 20) who I suspect was only attracted to me because I'm a musician. I had to break of contact with "her" because "her" e-mails made me suspect she was a 14-year old boy and not a 20-year old woman. It was bad because she talked a lot about how she (at only 4"10 1/2/149 cm herself) said she had more acceptance of how people looked. The distance was too far and as I said before, I got paranoid.
During a chat I just told her that I was Autistic (she did know I was an Aspie), didn't have an education and that I wasn't really a good musician and that I just wanted to sleep with her.
I still feel like a fool for breaking off contact with a person that could have accepted me as I am maybe because she's an outsider herself because she's so short, but with my bad social skills I was to scared to let it go further. She sent me a picture and she was gorgeous. I want to e-mail her again but I don't dare to. I don't think she's hurt in any way.


Well at least you didn't lie. Who are you kidding? Do you think things would have been better if you lied and she liked you for a while, and then found out?

PS. can I see the picture?



Hale_bopp,

What a cold and mean reply! :x Lonermutant came here for support not your personal opinion on the matter.

Lonermutant,

you should have given her a chance to really get to know you before you shared such intimate details with her. I mean actually meeting her person.

When people get to know people and they really like them, they tend to see past their imperfections.


Really wow im surprised that you called that mean. I thought that was kind for hale_bopp to say compared to what I would of said. Because I would say its only the internet get over it and probably nothing would with a internet realtion ship any way because its not real and the distance issue.



Lonermutant
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03 Jan 2006, 1:28 am

I'm long since over it but I don't know if I hurt "her" feelings.



Last edited by Lonermutant on 03 Jan 2006, 2:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

newchum
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03 Jan 2006, 1:35 am

MindOfOrderedChaos wrote:
Really wow im surprised that you called that mean. I thought that was kind for hale_bopp to say compared to what I would of said. Because I would say its only the internet get over it and probably nothing would with a internet realtion ship any way because its not real and the distance issue.


Interesting points MindOfOrderedChaos, I've never had a online romantic relationship and will be plan on one (because of the mind contact thing), but I've had some platonic friendships online (including a couple which has lasted 5 years) and to me they are very real.



hale_bopp
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03 Jan 2006, 7:47 am

Lonermutant wrote:
The point is that I don't dare to have any contact with "her" anymore! I'm to scared! What is she is really some junior high boy wanting to embarrass me? Because of my pretty non-existant social skills I don't trust people. I have to avoid them for my own good.


I don't understand why you thought this in the first place. Perhaps you could search for more people that are wanting one night stands, and not relationships? Good Luck. :)

Quote:
Really wow im surprised that you called that mean. I thought that was kind for hale_bopp to say compared to what I would of said. Because I would say its only the internet get over it and probably nothing would with a internet realtion ship any way because its not real and the distance issue.


Typical New Zealand ;)

Quote:
Interesting points MindOfOrderedChaos, I've never had a online romantic relationship and will be plan on one (because of the mind contact thing), but I've had some platonic friendships online (including a couple which has lasted 5 years) and to me they are very real.


Oh I agree. I personally would never want an online relationship, and would much prefer not to meet boys online for relationships.

I do however have friends online that I have talked to for nearly over 5 years (some of them have real life girlfriends) that are great.



Lonermutant
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03 Jan 2006, 8:07 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
The point is that I don't dare to have any contact with "her" anymore! I'm to scared! What is she is really some junior high boy wanting to embarrass me? Because of my pretty non-existant social skills I don't trust people. I have to avoid them for my own good.


I don't understand why you thought this in the first place. Perhaps you could search for more people that are wanting one night stands, and not relationships? Good Luck. :)



Hale_Bopp, she originally found my e-mail and my website through a bassplayers group I'm a member of on Yahoo. Originally I thought she was spamming me and joking with me, but after mailing her a few times I got the impression that she didn't care about how I looked or what kind of job or education I had. I believed she was unusually interested in sex at first and then I lost contact with her for 1 1/2 years because she was working and in school. Then she mysteriously e-mailed me back last month but I decieded to end it because I was scared she was kidding with me. I don't trust peopl and I don't know if "she" just wants to have sex with me or not.



redvelvet
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03 Jan 2006, 10:21 am

Tell her all the truth, , and that you want to try again. wait and see what happens.



Lonermutant
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03 Jan 2006, 11:01 am

redvelvet wrote:
Tell her all the truth, , and that you want to try again. wait and see what happens.



Of cause she now knows that I'm "some kind of ret*d", I made myself seem that way when I broke all contact with her while chatting. And I told her that I only wanted to have sex with her.