Keeping sane

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i used to be ashamed of myself for being atypical, and not caring about the feelings of others, or so they said anyway i completely buried my true self, and put up this barrier that made me insane im just crawling back out of my shell , and everyone is surprised by me....... they think im putting on some kind of show..does anyone have any advice as to how i can keep sane, and keep myself in a world of neurotypical people?

Frankly, I chose to be myself when I am alone, and it's why I prefer to live alone.

I watch what I do when I'm around others. When I'm alone, I can do all the "quirky" things I do to my heart's content.

It's just a matter of accepting that you aren't like the "normal" people around you and keeping the "real you" under wraps until you can get someplace where you let it out without people observing.

thank you, ill keep that in mind

It doesn't matter whether you're aspie or neurotypical--if you change youself too drastically, you're going to confuse the heck out of everyone. The "you" they know is one person, and you're trying to pull a switch on them (to their way of thinking). Decide what's most important for your public change and keep the rest to yourself until they're used to it. Some changes might be better kept to yourself permanently, unless you have a very understanding relative or friend who can accept those parts of you. Doing it slowly will help you sort out your priorities and give you practice in being aware of what you're doing and how that affects other people.

first of all, STOP being ashamed.

why are you ashamed? for being different? awkward? if you were hitler, or some insane serial-killer then you should be ashamed.
you are who you are, and people really will let you be just that. its only your (negatively focused) self analysis that tells you that your noticeably different for everyone. if people walk right past - and ignore - flea-ridden beggars, or some shouting wacko in the park, they should surely let you be, for just being awkward.

just be yourself, then you can be sane