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timeisdead
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21 May 2009, 10:58 pm

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My own relatives are a little better off than the average middle-class, and they don't judge me. Actually I met a lot of people who didn't mind. The only people who do seem to mind that I'm on welfare are the 9-5 workers who wear the same shoes everyday and have 4 weeks vacation each year, and I couldn't care less for these people.


The people who mind are those who don't want their tax dollars used to take care of leeches like yourself.



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21 May 2009, 11:06 pm

timeisdead wrote:
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My own relatives are a little better off than the average middle-class, and they don't judge me. Actually I met a lot of people who didn't mind. The only people who do seem to mind that I'm on welfare are the 9-5 workers who wear the same shoes everyday and have 4 weeks vacation each year, and I couldn't care less for these people.


The people who mind are those who don't want their tax dollars used to take care of leeches like yourself.


I'm going to keep leeching as well as keep my determination that no matter how despised and marginalised I might be, I will never accept society's rules. I make my own. My life is about me and no one else.



Katie_WPG
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23 May 2009, 12:59 pm

However, you constantly brag about your social prowess. That would imply that you have an actual interest in being respected by society. People don't respect welfare "queens" (king in your case), and they don't respect low-functioning aspies. If you can't work or live independantly at the age of 25, then you ARE a low-functioning aspie. It doesn't matter if you consider yourself to be high functioning.

I could think that I'm an intergalactic ruler, but that doesn't make it so, now does it?

Your hatred of so-called "low-functioning" aspies is just projection.

The sad thing is, if one of these "wax dolls" you speak about is capable of having even a part-time job while living with their parents, they ARE higher-functioning than you are.

And how many of these "upper-middle class" people that are "okay" with you are being genuinely friendly? And how many of them are giving you the exact same "pat the lamb on the head" treatment, only in a more subtle way? There do exist people that are okay with SOME people getting welfare, but only for a) single mothers, b) short term-unemployment, and c) the TRULY incapacitated. In these people's minds, you fall in the third category.



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23 May 2009, 1:24 pm

Katie_WPG wrote:
However, you constantly brag about your social prowess. That would imply that you have an actual interest in being respected by society. People don't respect welfare "queens" (king in your case), and they don't respect low-functioning aspies. If you can't work or live independantly at the age of 25, then you ARE a low-functioning aspie. It doesn't matter if you consider yourself to be high functioning.

I could think that I'm an intergalactic ruler, but that doesn't make it so, now does it?

Your hatred of so-called "low-functioning" aspies is just projection.

The sad thing is, if one of these "wax dolls" you speak about is capable of having even a part-time job while living with their parents, they ARE higher-functioning than you are. I want to be hated by society. When I say I had surgery for $30 000 and own clothes to a similar value, people want to kill me. They are angered that the tax money is used that way. It's a start. Eventually I will reach higher ground and provoce society in much more potent ways.

And how many of these "upper-middle class" people that are "okay" with you are being genuinely friendly? And how many of them are giving you the exact same "pat the lamb on the head" treatment, only in a more subtle way? There do exist people that are okay with SOME people getting welfare, but only for a) single mothers, b) short term-unemployment, and c) the TRULY incapacitated. In these people's minds, you fall in the third category.


First off, I have no interest in being respected by society, not anymore than what a mafioso or con-artist have an interest in being respected by society. That was you projecting.

People in general don't know about my AS diagnosis and there's no way for them to find out. The reason why I don't take part in society has nothing to do with AS, it's connected to my other personality disorders and my anger/hatred. I'm high functioning. You seem to have the typical black and white aspie brain however, you didn't even consider there could be endless other possibilities to why I don't work.

If my social situation was because of AS; then I wouldn't be able to make friends who believed I was NT either. The thing is, I can. So obviously, me not working is not directly connected to my AS.

99% of people who speak to me consider me a leech, not an incapacitated person. Speak for yourself. People see I'm verbal, socially skilled, charming in many ways and can't understand WHY I don't work. They think I'm a lazy, leeching opportunist, which to a degree is true. People who meet me don't assume there's anything WRONG with me, they think I'm just extremely intelligent and charming.

Again you see things only in severe aspie black and white, as if driving a truck in a warehouse made someone "higher functioning" when that person still was percieved as ret*d and slow minded by a vast majority of society just by looking at him. I have all those skills that the truck driving, warehouse working low functioning aspies lack. My hatred for rules and regulations, which is tied to my antisocial personality disorder, makes me unable to enter society the normal way. The glass eyed ret*ds can't book their own flight tickets or travel on their own. They can't navigate foreign cities on their own. I can, and I also DO all of those things. The only thing I don't do is WORK and if you only base your idea of "high/low functioning" on whether or not someone is moving lawns for others or not you are so limited in your thinking that it's scary. As if your AS controls your entire being.

There are loads of people like me, all over the world, who do not have AS but instead fail in society because of their antisocial personality disorder or similar. There are also a lot of "failed" people like me who suddenly out of nowhere succeed. One of Sweden's most popular tv program hosts and comedians at the moment lived on sick-support welfare until the age of 38 when she won a stand up comedy contest. Today she is celebrated and extremely sought after for every possible job.

I have the INNATE ability to do just what she did. I'm not eternally bound to a life outside of society, because what limits me is not some sort of glass eyed low functioning AS. When I am on the top, I WILL continue to abuse and attack the low functioning aspies. I will bully them and make them feel bad and in the end work to crush the entire AS diagnosis. Have it abolished.



Last edited by Zoonic on 23 May 2009, 1:48 pm, edited 7 times in total.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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23 May 2009, 1:30 pm

I think some of us are what I would call "mid functioning" neither high nor low functioning Aspies. I think I fall in this range, Zoonic might too.

We have normal conversational skills, (relatively normal. I am not good at the glib, witty, small talk, but I am capable of having a normal, articulate conversation with someone) we can take care of our immediate needs (good hygeine, know how to cook and clean, take care of our immediate surroundings) we can drive vehicles and yet we cannot find work for some reason. Not work that correlates with our cognitive skills and if we do, it's not the same type of experience as that of non Aspies. We have some college credits but didn't finish. We have had jobs in the past and couldn't keep them.

Low Functioning implies something a bit different than what we are. High functioning I guess would be Aspie at near NT level.
I think many Aspies could be this if we had the right opportunities and had supportive people in our immediate surroundings. A lot of us lack confidence, feel overwhelmed, panic, and quit our jobs. To call me low functioning is not accurate. I have a couple of years college. I have a drivers license. I do not require any kind of assisted living. I don't believe I am what can be considered LF. But yet, I am not up to par with HF so I prolly need my own space sandwiched in the middle.



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23 May 2009, 2:02 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
I think some of us are what I would call "mid functioning" neither high nor low functioning Aspies. I think I fall in this range, Zoonic might too.

We have normal conversational skills, (relatively normal. I am not good at the glib, witty, small talk, but I am capable of having a normal, articulate conversation with someone) we can take care of our immediate needs (good hygeine, know how to cook and clean, take care of our immediate surroundings) we can drive vehicles and yet we cannot find work for some reason. Not work that correlates with our cognitive skills and if we do, it's not the same type of experience as that of non Aspies. We have some college credits but didn't finish. We have had jobs in the past and couldn't keep them.

Low Functioning implies something a bit different than what we are. High functioning I guess would be Aspie at near NT level.
I think many Aspies could be this if we had the right opportunities and had supportive people in our immediate surroundings. A lot of us lack confidence, feel overwhelmed, panic, and quit our jobs. To call me low functioning is not accurate. I have a couple of years college. I have a drivers license. I do not require any kind of assisted living. I don't believe I am what can be considered LF. But yet, I am not up to par with HF so I prolly need my own space sandwiched in the middle.


I do not require assisted living either. I'm the one doing the dishes, cleaning, I cook my own food, wash my own clothes etc. Me living with my parents is a side effect of me not being able to have a job. Someone who actually HAS a job but STILL lives with his parents because of inability to maintain his own household is indeed low functioning. I travel on my own, I book my own hotels, flights, everything. I have the social skills to get a taxi in the middle of nowhere and I usually never have a problem asking people for advice, directions or making new friends I meet while out. People usually give me their cards because they like me so much. I don't see how that is low functioning.

I despise society, yes. I do not enjoy normal work, yes. I still don't think that makes me low functioning. I had a job once which involved talking to the customers and they thought I was social and charming, but the job bored me to hell so I resigned. No one understood why and my colleagues were really surprised because they just thought I was a social and cool guy. But the repetitive boredom of the work was s**t and being in a place where I didn't want to be for long periods of time made me feel my life had no purpose. So I just can't have that kind of work. I hate obligations in all forms and love just being my own master.

I need a certain amount of luxury in my life. I prefer designer clothes to people. If I didn't get a top paid job, I wouldn't be able to afford what I buy now if I also had to pay for running a household and maintaining a home. I will NEVER live NORMALLY if that requires me to cut back on my luxury spending. Life is not worth living if my clothes don't feel divine to touch and my appearence is absolutely top.



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23 May 2009, 2:40 pm

Zoonic wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
I think some of us are what I would call "mid functioning" neither high nor low functioning Aspies. I think I fall in this range, Zoonic might too.

We have normal conversational skills, (relatively normal. I am not good at the glib, witty, small talk, but I am capable of having a normal, articulate conversation with someone) we can take care of our immediate needs (good hygeine, know how to cook and clean, take care of our immediate surroundings) we can drive vehicles and yet we cannot find work for some reason. Not work that correlates with our cognitive skills and if we do, it's not the same type of experience as that of non Aspies. We have some college credits but didn't finish. We have had jobs in the past and couldn't keep them.

Low Functioning implies something a bit different than what we are. High functioning I guess would be Aspie at near NT level.
I think many Aspies could be this if we had the right opportunities and had supportive people in our immediate surroundings. A lot of us lack confidence, feel overwhelmed, panic, and quit our jobs. To call me low functioning is not accurate. I have a couple of years college. I have a drivers license. I do not require any kind of assisted living. I don't believe I am what can be considered LF. But yet, I am not up to par with HF so I prolly need my own space sandwiched in the middle.


I do not require assisted living either. I'm the one doing the dishes, cleaning, I cook my own food, wash my own clothes etc. Me living with my parents is a side effect of me not being able to have a job. Someone who actually HAS a job but STILL lives with his parents because of inability to maintain his own household is indeed low functioning. I travel on my own, I book my own hotels, flights, everything. I have the social skills to get a taxi in the middle of nowhere and I usually never have a problem asking people for advice, directions or making new friends I meet while out. People usually give me their cards because they like me so much. I don't see how that is low functioning.

I despise society, yes. I do not enjoy normal work, yes. I still don't think that makes me low functioning. I had a job once which involved talking to the customers and they thought I was social and charming, but the job bored me to hell so I resigned. No one understood why and my colleagues were really surprised because they just thought I was a social and cool guy. But the repetitive boredom of the work was sh** and being in a place where I didn't want to be for long periods of time made me feel my life had no purpose. So I just can't have that kind of work. I hate obligations in all forms and love just being my own master.

I need a certain amount of luxury in my life. I prefer designer clothes to people. If I didn't have a top paid job, I wouldn't be able to afford what I buy now if I also had the pay for running a household and maintaining a home. I will NEVER live NORMALLY if that requires me to cut back on my luxury spending. Life is not worth living if my clothes don't feel divine to touch and my appearence is absolutely top.

You mentioned you were able to have a job which involved making small-talk with customers (you were still able to perform even though you hated it correct?). That's the one thing you've mentioned that I'm unable to do. I always run out of topics and don't know what to ask people. I'm the complete opposite of you in that I'm highly introverted and generally don't enjoy bringing attention to myself. I've only ever been good at light talk with people I already know well who are comfortable with my sense of humor.



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23 May 2009, 2:49 pm

marshall wrote:
You mentioned you were able to have a job which involved making small-talk with customers (you were still able to perform even though you hated it correct?). That's the one thing you've mentioned that I'm unable to do. I always run out of topics and don't know what to ask people. I'm the complete opposite of you in that I'm highly introverted and generally don't enjoy bringing attention to myself. I've only ever been good at light talk with people I already know well who are comfortable with my sense of humor.


I put on an act. Sometimes I get so caught up in it that I actually start imagining I LIKE talking to simple-minded middle aged ladies and have them see me as charming, give them cheesy compliments and smile politely. I found at times I was caught with a smile on my face and had to snap out of it because I started to become NT. I started to feel it was nice to just BS each other by mimicing each others body language and giving compliments and that it was nice to make others think of me as polite and well adapted. I forgot about myself for a moment.

This is also why I cancel my friendship relations sooner or later. When I start becoming too NT, I feel disgusted by myself and suddenly ask people I've been seeing for months or years to go to hell. I suspect this is a thing tied to depression/bipolar or personality disorder more than AS. I can't explain why but being the "yes dear, it's lovely it really suits you!" type makes me want to vomit.



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23 May 2009, 2:57 pm

Zoonic wrote:
marshall wrote:
You mentioned you were able to have a job which involved making small-talk with customers (you were still able to perform even though you hated it correct?). That's the one thing you've mentioned that I'm unable to do. I always run out of topics and don't know what to ask people. I'm the complete opposite of you in that I'm highly introverted and generally don't enjoy bringing attention to myself. I've only ever been good at light talk with people I already know well who are comfortable with my sense of humor.


I put on an act. Sometimes I get so caught up in it that I actually start imagining I LIKE talking to simple-minded middle aged ladies and have them see me as charming, give them cheesy compliments and smile politely. I found at times I was caught with a smile on my face and had to snap out of it because I started to become NT. I started to feel it was nice to just BS each other by mimicing each others body language and giving compliments and that it was nice to make others think of me as polite and well adapted. I forgot about myself for a moment.

This is also why I cancel my friendship relations sooner or later. When I start becoming too NT, I feel disgusted by myself and suddenly ask people I've been seeing for months or years to go to hell. I suspect this is a thing tied to depression/bipolar or personality disorder more than AS. I can't explain why but being the "yes dear, it's lovely it really suits you!" type makes me want to vomit.


My PDD prevents me from doing this. My mind drifts away from the conversation and I create awkward silences.



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23 May 2009, 3:11 pm

marshall wrote:
Zoonic wrote:
marshall wrote:
You mentioned you were able to have a job which involved making small-talk with customers (you were still able to perform even though you hated it correct?). That's the one thing you've mentioned that I'm unable to do. I always run out of topics and don't know what to ask people. I'm the complete opposite of you in that I'm highly introverted and generally don't enjoy bringing attention to myself. I've only ever been good at light talk with people I already know well who are comfortable with my sense of humor.


I put on an act. Sometimes I get so caught up in it that I actually start imagining I LIKE talking to simple-minded middle aged ladies and have them see me as charming, give them cheesy compliments and smile politely. I found at times I was caught with a smile on my face and had to snap out of it because I started to become NT. I started to feel it was nice to just BS each other by mimicing each others body language and giving compliments and that it was nice to make others think of me as polite and well adapted. I forgot about myself for a moment.

This is also why I cancel my friendship relations sooner or later. When I start becoming too NT, I feel disgusted by myself and suddenly ask people I've been seeing for months or years to go to hell. I suspect this is a thing tied to depression/bipolar or personality disorder more than AS. I can't explain why but being the "yes dear, it's lovely it really suits you!" type makes me want to vomit.


My PDD prevents me from doing this. My mind drifts away from the conversation and I create awkward silences.


I'm a bit like my mom, she's NT but very complexed. She always tried to be overachieving and get the "star mark" in everything she did. When interacting with others her face, tone of voice etc all change into an exaggerated act. She's like a social robot who puts on a mask and smiles but is totally cold underneath, but sometimes she merges with the acting role to a degree that she starts IMAGINING she has emotions she don't really have. I'm the same. I've seen my mother almost go into some sort of psychotic/obsessive trance where she believes her artifical emotions are real.

It's kind of similar to what happens to actors when they live too close to their role. When I am among NT's for too long I merge with the role and lose myself. I start resenting my own actions and feel disgusted by what I'm turning into so I usually need to start a fight, insult someone or create a shocking scene to "cleanse" myself.

My mother isn't like that, she never feels angry from playing a part. She's like a dog you give a bone to and she will keep doing it over and over and feel as if she really makes master happy by socializing like a robot. This is because she does not have any form of AS. However, she snaps and goes into a narcissistic kind of self pitying mini-tantrum when reality does not respond to her by just throwing more bones. Then she can't see what's wrong, she believes people are not intelligent enough to appreciate her superior abilities and she complains that she was really destined for something better, she starts making up grandiose fantasies about how she's serving the royal family and she goes back into her dog role with obsessive fervor.



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23 May 2009, 3:29 pm

Zoonic wrote:
I'm a bit like my mom, she's NT but very complexed. She always tried to be overachieving and get the "star mark" in everything she did. When interacting with others her face, tone of voice etc all change into an exaggerated act. She's like a social robot who puts on a mask and smiles but is totally cold underneath, but sometimes she merges with the acting role to a degree that she starts IMAGINING she has emotions she don't really have. I'm the same. I've seen my mother almost go into some sort of psychotic/obsessive trance where she believes her artifical emotions are real.

It's kind of similar to what happens to actors when they live too close to their role. When I am among NT's for too long I merge with the role and lose myself. I start resenting my own actions and feel disgusted by what I'm turning into so I usually need to start a fight, insult someone or create a shocking scene to "cleanse" myself.

My mother isn't like that, she never feels angry from playing a part. She's like a dog you give a bone to and she will keep doing it over and over and feel as if she really makes master happy by socializing like a robot. This is because she does not have any form of AS. However, she snaps and goes into a narcissistic kind of self pitying mini-tantrum when reality does not respond to her by just throwing more bones. Then she can't see what's wrong, she believes people are not intelligent enough to appreciate her superior abilities.


I have trouble doing the "acting" thing unless it involves my own kind of humor. I'm usually a total space cadet in social situations. I notice that most NT's will all laugh at the same time when someone tells a joke whether it's funny or not. If I just sit there with a straight face people will assume I don't get the joke which is irritating. The reality is that I just don't find it funny and I'm unable to get myself far enough into the social role playing act to fake it. I'm emotionally cut off from everyone else and my mind wants to go other places.



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23 May 2009, 4:46 pm

Here I thought this thread was about the differences and studies about HFA and AS. Shame on me for reading the thread title.



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23 May 2009, 5:07 pm

Lecks wrote:
Here I thought this thread was about the differences and studies about HFA and AS. Shame on me for reading the thread title.


I still think the people I went to school with briefly in the 8th grade were HFA misdiagnosed as AS and that I have high functioning AS myself. I also think a lot of the people on WP diagnosed with AS have HFA. The definitions of respective diagnosis needs to be changed.

It's a complete joke claiming I have the same diagnosis as people who behave like they have HFA.



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23 May 2009, 5:12 pm

It's because some people are more passive, Zoonic. I think I read something about some being passive and some being not so passive. It was in the original case studies by Hans Asperger. You should read those studies, Zoonic, you can find them online.



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23 May 2009, 5:17 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It's because some people are more passive, Zoonic. I think read something about some being passive and some being not so passive. It was in the original case studies by Hans Asperger. You should read those studies, Zoonic, you can find them online.


Still, the people with AS I have experience of were glass eyed and slow with no ability to understand how others percieved them and no ability to understand how others were thinking. They were in their own worlds 24/7 never ever even analyzing their surroundings. The teachers were throwing a ball with them the way you do with 5 year olds. They acted ret*d and they were treated like the ret*ds they were.

I also met a few other more high functioning aspies, some of them academically successful, but also with very limited skills to understand how others viewed them. I always had this ability to analyze people and situations and I actually have felt embarassed for other people's actions several times when I have seen how socially inappropriate it was while they haven't. I just CAN'T accept that I would be like those people because we are not the same. I don't feel the connection, I can analyze them but I can't be like them.



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23 May 2009, 5:22 pm

You seem to be a great writer and pretty aware. The only thing I notice in your posts in WP are a few intolerances besides that you seem like an NT in a lot of ways.
But I also read that it's not unheard of for Aspies to express themselves this way at times, also. It's usually when we are wound up about something.