Down with labeling people!

Post Reply New Topic

I think it comes down to how you (or your parents if diagnosed as a kid) handle the label rather than the label itself. You don't have to tell everyone or anyone really except those who are going to help you or those you trust!

And the ones who treat you badly, probably would have anyway!

I think an AS label could be theoretically helpful if it were accompanied by better understanding and useful employment accommodations. In reality a diagnosis is fairly useless for adults who are on the high functioning end of the spectrum, at least in the US.

The problem is there's way too much focus on parents. Society is obsessed with children and parenting to an unhealthy degree. It's not about helping kids to grow up to be functional in society. It's more about the parents needs than the kids needs. This isn't surprising since the parents are the ones who foot the bills. The whole medical system in the US is a bit of a sham.

Everyones experience is just so different that i don't think we can sit around saying "Down with all labels" or "Labels are good" it's just different for everyone and whatever works for each individual is what they should go with.

Marshall, are you a parent? There is a problem if the focus is too much on parents and parent's needs, although Mothers especially often get the short end of the stick and SO much blame is put on us, most Dr's would rather brush things off as poor parenting on the part of the mother than an actual issue with the child. We should parent consciously, but according to the childs needs and not our own. I'm getting my child evaluated so that we as a family can understand her better and learn better ways to deal with her when she is having issues and help her cope, more importantly so that she can understand herself and figure out ways to cope with her issues and feel that we understand her as well. I'm not interested in putting a neon label above my childs head or medicating her or having her therapized for the rest of her life or separating her from "normal" because i don't consider this something wrong or abnormal, i consider it a different way of thinking and seeing the world that SOCIETY is not build to deal with, and so it has to be her that is taught to deal with it and i'm not interested in getting attention off of her issues, i'm interested in helping her understand and cope with her reality, the way she sees the world.

Does that make sense?

Christopher Gillberg wrote about Asperger's and he said for adults it's crucial to find the ones who are isolated, or having problems at work, get them diagnosed and find them an appropriate support network of people (not therapists or psychs, just everyday folks) who know about ASDs. This can significantly improve outcomes for adults with Asperger's.

If you were epileptic, would you prefer not to be labelled as such? Having a label helps people to know what kind of treatment you need that most others don't, as well as treatment you don't need most others get. Labels are good. The only negative side to them is that they can be used to discriminate, but that is not the intent of a label. Personally, I carry the label GID (gender identity disorder), this means I can get treatment for being trans. Although I would prefer not to have such a label, it is a medically necessary one for me to be able to move forward in life.

zoonic, I'm sorry you went through what you did. I can only hope I don't make the same mistakes as a mother as yours did.

That being said.

Labels can suck, if they are used incorrectly.... BUT if you know how to spin it, and what to say, a label can really be a wonderful thing. Labels are only there to help people associate the unknown with something they can wrap their petty feeble little minds around.

Take Manure.... it's perfectly acceptable to spread manure on the lawn, HOWEVER you take some cow dump and use it to bed your plants and THAT is socially not acceptable.

I'm 29, I was just diagnosed. I spent my whole life as the town "freak." Hated and ridiculed in school. Called a "devil worshiper", because I was not satisfied with the socially "correct" monotheistic religious interpretations / rules forced down peoples throats. Called a "snot" because I was too shy speak most of the time. Called "teachers pet" and "know it all" when I knew more about a subject than the teacher did. Called "psycho" " Insane" "inhuman" "Hateful" "Insane" my entire life, by strangers and family alike. The nicest of my hecklers dismiss me as "eccentric" "artistic" "just herself." Unfortunately those people are FEW and FAR in between.

I'm from a small town of 9,000. Psychiatry is seen as something for the crazies only. My up bringing was that of my parents and their parents which was "buck up and deal with it." You NEVER ask for help! You NEVER let people see you shaken!

So for 29 years, I honestly wondered why I was different, what was different. I was to the point I thought I had to be insane, so insane everyone else could see it, but i could not.

So, on the edge of something irreversible, I went to a psychologist. I actually went against EVERY SINGLE morsel of "sage" advice and went to see "how" I was crazy and "what with" before I made the decision to complete above mentioned irreversible act.

It took the shrink less than an hour to put a whole new spin on every single crappy moment of my life. With one single "label" . "Creative"

I don't have to tell people I have Asperger's. For me the label of Asperger's and creative brain is so much better than the labels I was given before. In my area, saying I have Asperger's has less detrimental than "insane crazy devil worshiper." PLUS....

I have a son who just turned 8. He was diagnosed with Asperger's ( We were diagnosed at the same time.) Looking at my life, and how crappy it was before I knew I had asperbergers and now that I have a name for why and how I am different..... Tattoo it on my head for all I care. I never want my son to have to live with the fears and insecurities I did. Without the diagnoses my son would just be the "strange kid with the insane f-ing mother." With the label he is " The brilliant kid with the artistic mother."

I label everything and everyone, given enough time I'll probably label each and every one of you aswell. It helps me make sense of the world.

Just because some people fail to grasp the purpose of labels or missuse them, doesn't mean we should dismiss them. You can blame the label(s) you were given, you can ignore them or you can accept them. In the end they will still be there. You're labeled the second someone lays eyes on you and nothing can change that.

If you wish to fight your label(s) be prepared for a long and fruitless struggle.