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GreySun369
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15 Feb 2011, 1:00 am

This is one of the things I've often wondered about. I usually tell everyone that I'm gay because for the most part I like guys, but there are times I wonder if I'm bisexual. For the most part I'm sexually attracted to men, every time I masturbate I'm always fantasizing about men. However I think that emotionally I'm more attracted to women then I am men, but not sexually attracted. I tend to perfer the company of women more then I do men, and in movies, video games, and TV shows all my favorite characters are females. I do find myself staring at women's breasts and butts, but it's still not really a "sexual" thing with me, I just look at them because I know they're what makes a woman a woman and it's like looking at a painting or drawing.

I dunno, I'm still a virgin and never experienced sex. So maybe I'm just still not sure what my sexuality is? I would have thought that by now I would know. :?



Rat_Barzane
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15 Feb 2011, 2:03 am

Sounds like you're gay, but think in a feminine way..
I was confused for a while during adolescence, I would sometimes think I liked men but it was more that I felt like I was one.. Enjoyed spending time with men for the masculine activities and conversation, wanted to be a man.. Not have sex with them.
So eventually I figured out I'm a masculine lesbian lol


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Qatsi64
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15 Feb 2011, 6:20 am

Just like autism, sexuality is a spectrum. Don't worry so much about the labels, and enjoy yourself:)

I love the lyric in your sig, but you got a word wrong. It is "ember", not "amber". That song rocks hard!



Descartes
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15 Feb 2011, 8:43 am

Rat_Barzane wrote:
Sounds like you're gay, but think in a feminine way..


I agree.

If you are sexually inclined toward other men but not toward women, then you are gay. Regarding your platonic love for women, I think it may be that you simply appreciate the aesthetical beauty and warm nature of women. I, as a gay male, can relate.


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GreySun369
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15 Feb 2011, 12:09 pm

I fixed the lyric in my signature. :)

I guess it makes sense, I'm a very feminine homosexual male who's always been closer to women then I am men. I guess if I were to ever get in a relationship I would take on the role of the "girl". Plus I've always been attracted to very masculine guys.



richardbenson
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15 Feb 2011, 1:33 pm

why not be bisexual? I'd rather have both than just one. :pig:


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GreySun369
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15 Feb 2011, 1:37 pm

What can I say? I've always been a picky eater. :wink:



AnonymousAnonymous
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16 Feb 2011, 3:11 pm

richardbenson wrote:
why not be bisexual? I'd rather have both than just one. :pig:


I agree. Picking between homosexuality/heterosexuality is a tough choice.


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druidsbird
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16 Feb 2011, 3:20 pm

GreySun369 wrote:
I fixed the lyric in my signature. :)

I guess it makes sense, I'm a very feminine homosexual male who's always been closer to women then I am men. I guess if I were to ever get in a relationship I would take on the role of the "girl". Plus I've always been attracted to very masculine guys.


Doh. How come all the cute boys like you have to be attracted to men?


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StevieC
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16 Feb 2011, 7:58 pm

druidsbird wrote:
GreySun369 wrote:
I fixed the lyric in my signature. :)

I guess it makes sense, I'm a very feminine homosexual male who's always been closer to women then I am men. I guess if I were to ever get in a relationship I would take on the role of the "girl". Plus I've always been attracted to very masculine guys.


Doh. How come all the cute boys like you have to be attracted to men?


cos thats life :P


the cute ones are already taken
the hot ones are a**holes
and the hot AND cute ones are gay.
or something like that :roll:



kohne
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16 Feb 2011, 8:06 pm

Don't be so quick to adopt a label.

If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, does it make sense to say 'I only eat meatloaf'? Even if you have a hankerin' for it now, wouldn't you want to leave your options open? I'd suggest you get your fill of meatloaf and if you wake up one day and want to try the fish, go for it. You can always go back for more.

My track record is 'bisexual'. I've had extended relationships with males. But I'm getting ready to propose to a female. So am I 'bi' or 'straight' now? *pft* labels.

When people push the question on me, I take a page from Napoleon Dynamite. I follow my heart. The biology is just an extension of that, not the other way around.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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16 Feb 2011, 8:08 pm

Qatsi64 wrote:
Just like autism, sexuality is a spectrum. Don't worry so much about the labels, and enjoy yourself:)


I agree.


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Rat_Barzane
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16 Feb 2011, 10:28 pm

I agree that sexuality is on a spectrum and one need not rush to write in stone where they are on the spectrum, I identified as bi for a while due to confusion, but once I got a better understanding of myself I settled into "lesbian" - Because I have absolutely no sexual desire for men, never have.. But if that changed, well, I guess I would re-evaluate that.
If you don't want a label, don't take one on, simple. Some labels are negative and detrimental.
But some people DO want a label, because it helps them understand themselves. Labels can be positive, and they can be useful. But they don't have to be written in stone 8)



kohne
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17 Feb 2011, 7:11 am

Rat_Barzane wrote:
... I settled into "lesbian" - Because I have absolutely no sexual desire for men, never have...


You gave me my smile for the morning. :)

I like (certain) guys myself, but as a guy, I necessarily like guys who go for other guys. And, no offense to straight guys reading, but I think they TEND to be more attractive - as a rule, they take better care of their bodies, they are more conscious about the effects of what they do and say, they have an understanding of what it's like to not fit in, and they are generally more flexible and open-minded. (They have their down-sides too, of course.)

So I think if I was female, I would be a lesbian myself. I'm not attracted to straight guys at all. :D (I'm not saying you yourself would like guys if you were a guy, just that I can sympathize in a strange way.)

To your actual point, I can see how a label would be helpful, provided it's not written in stone. I think you summed it up very nicely with the word 're-evaluate'. A label is a snazzy way of saying 'this is who I am right now', as long as it is open-ended to re-evaluation. I personally prefer 'bi' because it sums up the fact that I'm free to change my mind at any time, which I consider to be more central to my sexual identity than any other factor.

I like to think about it as renting vs. owning. If I accept a label, I treat it as though I'm renting. If I discover the neighbors are loud and the plumbing sucks, I'm gonna move. Don't take on a mortgage unless you are DARN sure the place fits your needs!



imbatshitcrazy
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17 Feb 2011, 8:31 pm

GreySun369 wrote:
This is one of the things I've often wondered about. I usually tell everyone that I'm gay because for the most part I like guys, but there are times I wonder if I'm bisexual. For the most part I'm sexually attracted to men, every time I masturbate I'm always fantasizing about men. However I think that emotionally I'm more attracted to women then I am men, but not sexually attracted. I tend to perfer the company of women more then I do men


just stop right there. if you're not sexually attracted to women, that means you aren't bisexual. most gay guys have a lot in common with women. don't ask why, i don't know



Descartes
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19 Feb 2011, 1:58 am

imbatshitcrazy wrote:
just stop right there. if you're not sexually attracted to women, that means you aren't bisexual. most gay guys have a lot in common with women. don't ask why, i don't know


There's been a scientific study that has found gay mens' brain structures to be similar to those of straight women's; and, similarly, the brain structures of lesbians resemble those of straight men's.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/06/080616-gay-brain.html


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