Comments on: Aspie or NT? The Pros and Cons of Acting Neurotypical https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/ Autism Community Fri, 16 Jan 2026 12:24:43 -0600 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.40 By: crstlgls https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-1167 Fri, 21 May 2021 13:25:42 +0000 http://wpt1301.bptest.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-1167 I was not diagnosed with Asperger’s until age 34. I was bullied as a child, too, and had a hard time making friends. The only way I make friends is if those friends also have Asperger’s. I have 1 friend that does. But no others, just a bunch of acquaintances. Others say I am too much work, but I never understand why or how. I’m not being bullied in college, but I still don’t understand how to make friends.

I was treated like a rebel by my parents when I was a teen. I got punished for everything when I just had a different way of thinking they did not understand, so they tried to normalize me. Not going to happen, obviously. My father kept slamming my door and yelling every time I had one of my meltdowns, only provoking it further, when I would have calmed down if he left me alone. I finally had to move out after my first year in college because I could not study with my father yelling in the background. I had had enough of him yelling and slamming my door and put my foot down. My parents still complain about my behaviors, even though I have told them they are symptoms of Asperger’s.

Obviously, I am not going to mask, or act like a neurotypical, as that would be exhausting. Trying to do things their way would be exhausting and burn me out, so I just do not try. If they do not want to understand how I think about things, they are going to make it harder to communicate with them.

]]> By: marlyn morgan https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-754 Wed, 29 Aug 2018 11:50:45 +0000 http://wpt1301.bptest.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-754 quite !
I really love the world now and humans because Ive learnt their language. I love talking to folk in shops and bus stops now. Small talk. Even when I am on a roll with my best. most fascinating, subject I talk to the public by asking them questions about their experience of the subject. Always relating it back to them. Its nice.

]]> By: Valinbean https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-641 Wed, 26 Jul 2017 13:02:41 +0000 http://wpt1301.bptest.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-641 Azul.Infinito: lol, yes! I Often do pretty much the same thing, except not quite so much like a computer program as you put it. For a long time I thought that certain situations required certain, and exact, responses, so much so that I often found myself in situations where I felt I had been backed into a corner by being forced to give certain responses in a certain order, effectively forcing me to verbally trap myself (my brother likes to play mind games). But that isn’t really how NT’s communicate, is it? They are much more random and spontaneous, often giving replies that may have never before been given in such a situation.
I doubt I will ever be able to do that, but knowing that there is never a “right” answer, even if there is an expected or socially acceptable one, that is a helpful thought to me.

]]> By: Azul.Infinito https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-605 Sat, 18 Mar 2017 00:51:08 +0000 http://wpt1301.bptest.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-605 Interesting… i never saw it as “acting”. I saw it more as a cause and effect type situation. Ive learned over the years a method of socal causation. If Person does X initiate response does this, then initiate sequence A , If person X does this action or that action, then initiate respond sequence B3 , If person X says _______ , theninitiate response sequence F2
And so on.

New situation: beep boop beep. No protocol sequence available in data banks. Abort , Abort Abort. Beeep boop boop beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

]]> By: Oddcat https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-556 Sat, 19 Nov 2016 21:04:10 +0000 http://wpt1301.bptest.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-556 Okay so exactly *how* and *what* does she teach? How about an example that doesn’t require the need to learn or speak Danish. We need hard info which we can put into action!

]]> By: affablestranger https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-554 Sat, 19 Nov 2016 19:59:32 +0000 http://wpt1301.bptest.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-554 I’m 46 and generally pass for neurotypical at first, but as we all know, the truth will always comes out. It comes out over time always, which is good… ish… sometimes. The key for me is observing and keeping boundaries and judging when the be flexible with them over time. I admit it’s absolutely exhausting. Socializing is exhausting. It’s consciously working simultaneously on efforts to track body language, vocal tones and inflections, word choices, eye movements, often of multiple people, and monitoring the environment and all. I originally thought everyone went through this, but I was wildly incorrect. These days I really pick and choose my interactions, far more than I used to. (And yes, pre-scripting does help a lot.)

]]> By: dentman2075 https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-429 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 03:10:42 +0000 http://wpt1301.bptest.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-429 From an early age I too knew I was different and I wanted to fit in (I think a lot of that was due to bullying). I have to agree with you broomie, I at times have to create scripts on what to say and how to say things. Part of the “script building process” (I think was signs of echolalia, I guess) when I was younger always repeated back instructions or question before giving or responding with an answer (Before long in my preteens my dad got sick of it, he just started calling me out on it, and would say something like “Yes, or no, don’t need a story”) eventually it stop. Even into my teenage years I still sat outside a conversation and just listened (with or without a listen check), mostly absorbing the conversation. From there I learn different movies and actors, just so I can converse (became familiar with shows that peaked my interest).

]]> By: broombie https://wrongplanet.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-401 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 02:25:05 +0000 http://wpt1301.bptest.net/aspie-or-nt-the-pros-and-cons-of-acting-neurotypical/#comment-401 I’m considered to be NT and dealing with other people is probably the hardest thing I have to do. There are times when I say something and it just blows up in my face. I have gotten to the point where I just try to create scripts in my mind and rehearse what I have to say before I say it. I have also figured out that the less I say, the better. I don’t need to over-explain things.

Also, many people like to hear themselves talk. Just asking them a question like “Are you ok?” when they are coughing a lot often leads them to open up and talk about themselves. Nodding my head and saying things like, “Oh.” “Really?” and other things make it look like I’m a good listener, even though I might not be.

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