Comments on: Coping with Conversation

By: malco

malco — Sun, 03 Jul 2022 01:27:00 +0000

I have to admit that small talk bores the sh*t out of me. No point that _I_ can see which makes me a loner at parties. Not that I am rude to others – at least not intentionally. I generally quickly withdraw and go nurse a cup of coffee – I stopped drinking alcohol years ago when it simply made me blob out on the sofa instead of being a stimulant as did when I was much younger. I cringe when I think of the (social) mistakes it helped me make back then. I never really knew how different I was from others apart from a total inability to connect/communicate.

By: 1cinderella

1cinderella — Wed, 12 Jan 2022 23:13:25 +0000

2meetings

By: UsedHardPutAwayWet

UsedHardPutAwayWet — Sun, 09 Jan 2022 05:29:11 +0000

All my life I’ve struggled with noticing and reading the expressions/postures/etc. associated with “getting along” with others. I identified my deficiency early and read a LOT about how to do it and it did NOT help me really at all. This – to me – is a plain affirmation that I’m on the ASP profile.
I do sometimes notice expressions on other’s faces – it’s like taking a still photograph of another person’s face – usually AFTER I think they think I should have noticed and when we’re conversing about socially charged subject matter.
I’ve also gotten feedback in informal settings that I’ve got a knack for speaking about things like human sexuality in a “matter of fact” manner. Another affirmation to myself that I’m on the ASP spectrum.
Now I tend to adopt the “less is more” approach to human conversation and interactions where I stringently limit my breadth and depth of subject matter and reciprocate with body language instead as it seems to insulate me from being seen as socially awkward if I’m speaking and someone else becomes uncomfortable with the subject matter without my promptly noticing that that has happened.
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This conversation thread caused me to remember a lot of my social history regarding human communications and I hope I’m not hijacking this thread by posting what I just did.

By: missymisfit

missymisfit — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 10:21:41 +0000

Thank you, that’s helpful. I can cope up to a point and seem confident and can keep up a bit. Sometimes a helpful cliche can help if you don’t know what to say, although I don’t like using them. As soon as someone reacts to me negatively, like when I’ve misunderstood what they said or repeated it back wrong, then I bow out of the conversation and let them end it. In a group conversation, I don’t even bother, I just stand and smile and then leave when it’s clear it’s just between them. I have had people bond with each other over their dislike of me! Teaching kids is a lot easier even when they are sometimes rude, beccause it’s almost scripted and the expectations and rules are easy – it’s adults I can’t get. When I come across an Aspie, it’s a real treat and I feel much more confident when talking to them and with Aspie kids, I am so protective.

By: Jakki

Jakki — Sun, 29 Sep 2019 00:54:05 +0000

Thank you for this .

By: marlyn morgan

marlyn morgan — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 09:08:18 +0000

thankyou, that sums it up.

By: marlyn morgan

marlyn morgan — Wed, 29 Aug 2018 09:05:04 +0000

thankyou.

By: jidecamoda

jidecamoda — Wed, 14 Jun 2017 01:01:37 +0000

These are helpful tips, unfortunately while I am actually engaged in a conversation all I can think about is assessing when it is appropriate for me to speak, and what is the “correct” response to other person so that I do not offend them with my straightforward words.

By: colina

colina — Tue, 30 May 2017 05:05:13 +0000

Some good points in your article Androbot. Like you, I try to help aspies have better conversations too. My approach is to suggest ways to practice because just remembering advice is not the same as actually changing behavior–when conversation is so scary.

Take a look at Love and Dating>Understanding Intimacy, and let me know what you think. Good luck.

By: ghostPastry

ghostPastry — Tue, 14 Feb 2017 23:11:28 +0000

All of this is so hard to remember in the moment… I don’t even know who I am, much less how to stay true to that while also behaving in a way that’s socially appropriate. -_-

That said, this was very well-written and something I’ll probably read several times. All worth remembering and repeating to myself. Thank you.