| Author |
Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating: |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 17 Oct 2018, 11:20 am
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Replies: 13
Views: 548
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| I’m a guy on the spectrum married to a NT woman, and I’m here to tell you it can work. I made a point early on to say that I’m the quiet type and that “I hope I’m not being too quiet.” This let her know that my silences are just part of me, not a rejection. Sometimes you can spend time together with... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Relationship Stories |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 28 Jun 2017, 9:03 pm
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Replies: 13
Views: 1,049
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| I have an "against all odds" story for you. I met a very nice, very pretty young lady in church. I was a pudgy, awkward, socially phobic grad student and she did modeling jobs for local department stores. "Out of my league" didn't even begin to cover it. I looked for her the next... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Once more being told to not think about the girlfriend issue |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 28 Jun 2017, 7:26 pm
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Replies: 70
Views: 3,409
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| Your therapist is right about not obsessing. There is some science behind this. Women and men are wired somewhat differently. Women don't tend to fall into the mindset of wanting a partner simply to have one in quite the same way men do. At the risk of oversimplifying a complex issue, women are ment... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS? Midlife? Both? |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 03 Apr 2017, 1:18 am
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Replies: 1
Views: 420
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| AS doesn't cause a man to become attracted to a younger woman at the office. It can, however, entail boundary and communication issues that would affect how you deal with the situation. It does sound like your husband had (has?) an attraction to this woman. It also sounds like he has tried to put up... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie girlfriend makes me feel like her play thing |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 03 Apr 2017, 12:36 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 865
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| If this has been consistent for over a year of dating, it is quite possible that it will never change. Touch sensitivity can manifest in aspies, but does not always manifest and is rarely this severe. Alternately, it could be from another cause entirely: anything from a comorbid disability to trauma... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: I'm so frustrated right now |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 16 Mar 2017, 10:11 pm
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Replies: 4
Views: 469
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| There is a saying, "whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right." Social phobia is debilitating. I know from personal experience. And I've had plenty of missed connections, some that seem so stupid I still want to kick myself. But you only need to succeed once. And the ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Am I Doomed to be Alone |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 22 Nov 2016, 1:38 pm
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Replies: 33
Views: 2,886
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| The tight, revealing clothes are good for picking up guys who want to have sex and then never call you. For an actual relationship you are looking for someone whose personality is compatible. That can take time, and is hit or miss. The best things you can do are: 1. Meet plenty of people. Even if it... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: A confused teenager. |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 22 Nov 2016, 1:03 am
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Replies: 31
Views: 1,478
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| It sounds like you are an emotionally strong person, and that you found yourself attracted to another strong individual. That is not a kink. In fact, it is very common, and is a healthy reaction. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Guys who've been 'ghosted'/ need to vent |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 10 Nov 2016, 11:13 pm
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Replies: 29
Views: 2,080
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| I was ghosted once, many years ago. Similar to your situation - we had gone out a couple of times, then she became distant but didn't break it off. I spent a lot of time and energy calling and trying to nurse the relationship back to life (a lot more than I would spend today, but I was young). I kne... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Debriefing |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 10 Oct 2016, 12:52 pm
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Replies: 34
Views: 968
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| Is she shy around you? She stopped being shy around me once she got comfortable with me. She is quiet with most people but opens up around me and around a few close friends. I'm more concerned that you don't find the girl you're dating attractive. In my experience that sort of feeling tells me that... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Debriefing |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 09 Oct 2016, 10:01 pm
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Replies: 34
Views: 968
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| My wife is quite shy. In some ways I think it deepens the relationship because there are more things that she shares with me and not anyone else. She understands when I need a little quiet time, where someone more extroverted might not. Shyness doesn't have to be a negative, and could actually be a ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: LADIES.... |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 09 Oct 2016, 9:15 pm
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Replies: 65
Views: 3,061
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| What worked for me was getting involved in group settings where there were women present but there was a focus other than dating. I got to meet women and learn a bit about them with no pressure to "seal the deal." Sometimes I would find enough common traits between our personalities that I... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: The peak of being attractive? |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 09 Oct 2016, 8:43 pm
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Replies: 4
Views: 462
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| Fashion designers have been trying to find peak attractiveness - the most attractive clothes, the most attractive model, the most attractive pose, setting, etc. - for centuries. They've never succeeded. Every time they come up with something new, people get tired of it and they move on to something ... |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: How to deal with creepy co-worker |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 21 Aug 2016, 9:35 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 1,355
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| Harassment laws vary state by state, but generally some conduct is so objectionable that you are not expected to ask the person to stop. If he's going around telling lies about what you look like naked - which is exactly what he's doing with the "tweety bird" comments - then he has probabl... |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: Any lawyers? |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 21 Aug 2016, 8:33 pm
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Replies: 31
Views: 1,395
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| I hope so too. I still talk about the subject, even if I don't identify myself as on the spectrum. |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: Any lawyers? |
| VinoVeritas |
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Posted: 21 Aug 2016, 8:19 pm
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Replies: 31
Views: 1,395
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| I like your son's approach. It sounds like he is developing skills in understanding and communication that will serve him well later in life. Hopefully he's helping the teachers to relate better to future neurodiverse students. That particular supervisor was a very nice person who taught me a number... |
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