| Author |
Message |
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Using the line "Have I done something to offend you?" |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 13 May 2022, 7:01 am
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Replies: 5
Views: 196
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| I don't think I even get that early opportunity. When I notice someone's being passive aggressive, it seems already in an advanced stage even though that person was nice in the previous interaction. I think that that sudden advancement of hostility happens behind my back through gossip etc among pe... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Being good at at most social skills, with ASD. |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 11 May 2022, 8:32 pm
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Replies: 42
Views: 785
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| I thankfully haven't needed to overtly lie to people much because I've mostly been dealing with the status-checking games rather than probing. I do have compartments in my life - some I can share with others, some are easier online (such as here) because there are very few people who will ever meet... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Using the line "Have I done something to offend you?" |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 11 May 2022, 4:51 pm
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Replies: 5
Views: 196
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| How do you all feel about the use of the line, "Have I done something to offend you?" - like in situations or times when someone seems to be giving you the silent treatment, or monosyllabic or "clipped" responses, or where they say something that sounds indignant/sarcastic (if yo... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 10 May 2022, 11:33 am
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Replies: 41
Views: 1,460
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| In my teens (and beyond), my intolerant / impatient stepmom would vacillate between "you don't try hard enough" and "you try to hard" when I'd recount some story of social failure and frustration. :x :( Well, I don't want to get into the stereotypical Aspie thought process of bla... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 26 Apr 2022, 6:31 pm
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Replies: 41
Views: 1,460
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| That sounds like a good question to ask? Are the responses you get useful? Ehh...not really. :( At least they don't get aggressive. They'd typically just mutter some "by now" statement, e.g. "well, you would have gotten the hang of (insert NT-centric activity bias) BY NOW". And ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 26 Apr 2022, 6:24 pm
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Replies: 41
Views: 1,460
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| LOL - I get the opposite -- people say I try too hard sometimes. However, I have gotten quite tired and loathsome of the seemingly ageless "You just have to deal with it" "You just have to get in the habit" "You just have to train your brain" I so oft get from a certai... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 26 Apr 2022, 6:19 pm
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Replies: 41
Views: 1,460
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| If you feel like you have tried, and someone says you haven't, they could simply be messing with you. Yeah, I completely agree with this!! If some streetwise bullies who have acute ToM sense that you're sensitive about your struggles and being invalidated in spite of them, they will lie or exaggera... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 26 Apr 2022, 7:01 am
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Replies: 41
Views: 1,460
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| LOL - I get the opposite -- people say I try too hard sometimes. However, I have gotten quite tired and loathsome of the seemingly ageless "You just have to deal with it" "You just have to get in the habit" "You just have to train your brain" I so oft get from a certai... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Has anyone given you constructive criticism? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 25 Apr 2022, 5:49 pm
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Replies: 25
Views: 675
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| Yes, but nothing like often enough. Usually it's been somewhat impolite, negative, loud, aggressive, or dogmatic. Or even worse (and probably much more often), no criticism at all. I'm probably making all kinds of mistakes that they can see, that they don't tell me about. I think people often fall ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Has anyone given you constructive criticism? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 25 Apr 2022, 5:43 pm
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Replies: 25
Views: 675
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| I've received constructive criticism countless times. I've received destructive criticism disguised as constructive criticism countless times. I've received blatantly destructive criticism countless times. Well, the saving grace of your middle statement is, at least you recognized that it was disgu... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 25 Apr 2022, 5:36 pm
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Replies: 41
Views: 1,460
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| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUpxmn7W57o This song's lyrics suggest a personality type i.e. lazy, irresponsible, flippant type, and NOT a person with a developmental disability... AFAIK he hasn't explained its meaning, so I guess it's whatever the individual wants to make of it. I just posted it... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Has anyone given you constructive criticism? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 24 Apr 2022, 8:04 pm
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Replies: 25
Views: 675
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| Has anyone given you constructive criticism? :chin: Yes. But since I know it all, it wasn't necessary. 8) <joke> I have a bad habit of offering advice. I suspect this is an autistic trait. But I have learnt that many people find it *unwanted* advice. The best thing to do in *personal* situations, i... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Has anyone given you constructive criticism? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 24 Apr 2022, 7:08 pm
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Replies: 25
Views: 675
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| Has anyone given you constructive criticism? And if so, how did you react and/or apply it? I got it at various points, from trusted sources like my father and a couple of well-meaning friends, and at least one former co-worker... yes, the vast majority of people will just dismiss you as "some w... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 24 Apr 2022, 6:51 pm
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Replies: 41
Views: 1,460
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ToughDiamond wrote: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUpxmn7W57o
This song's lyrics suggest a personality type i.e. lazy, irresponsible, flippant type, and NOT a person with a developmental disability... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Revenge fantasies |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 24 Apr 2022, 6:46 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 265
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| I can definitely think of a few "people" from my past, whom I wouldn't shed a tear over if they died in some horrible way. I don't bother googling them, since I've moved on since way back then, vastly improved my life and social functioning, and it sounds cliche but the best revenge, for m... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Have people said "you don't try hard enough"? |
| Jayo |
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Posted: 20 Apr 2022, 12:34 pm
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Replies: 41
Views: 1,460
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| If you feel like you have tried, and someone says you haven't, they could simply be messing with you. Yeah, I completely agree with this!! If some streetwise bullies who have acute ToM sense that you're sensitive about your struggles and being invalidated in spite of them, they will lie or exaggera... |
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