| Author |
Message |
Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Did I behave the right way in this social situation? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 18 Jan 2014, 12:31 pm
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Replies: 21
Views: 2,552
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Sounds like you avoided a bad situation. You're not their b!tch, and showed it by walking away.
How do you feel now? |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: is there a list of social guidelines? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 17 Jan 2014, 7:36 pm
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Replies: 26
Views: 3,820
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| This site has been recommended on this forum before. I think it's pretty good: A free detailed guide on how to improve social skills, from a former shy, awkward guy :Grin: I sent him that, last week. He says it's helpful. Unfortunately, the site doesn't cover things like: - over-talking - over-writ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: What things should I work on? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 17 Jan 2014, 12:02 pm
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Replies: 24
Views: 5,242
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| "6. I do make the first move when I come across someone I might want to date, but I struggle with a lot of the unwritten and unspoken social cues ." This is the one I am concerned with the most. I think much of it *can* be written down. Same thing with going into a different culture; you can avoid ... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: is there a list of social guidelines? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 17 Jan 2014, 11:53 am
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Replies: 26
Views: 3,820
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| In dealing with my AspieFriend Marvin, who says he wants to know when he's off-putting, it would be easier if I could refer to a list of guidelines. Otherwise it sounds like I'm just making things up, and he can think of plenty of examples where people didn't complain about the same thing, and it re... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: What things should I work on? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 15 Jan 2014, 11:44 am
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Replies: 24
Views: 5,242
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| Do you shower every day, and wear a clean shirt every day? |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: how can I be kind yet clear w ASD friend? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2014, 5:09 pm
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Replies: 19
Views: 4,094
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| Edited to add: besides if the OP looks hard enough they could probably identify his style of writing and figure out that they only need to actually every other paragraph or every third. Everyone has a pattern to their writing style and how they organize thoughts. Making that "wall of text" much eas... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Housemate + Constipation + Tactful advice |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2014, 3:14 pm
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Replies: 11
Views: 1,137
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| Does he like prune cake? Have you recorded the wretched screams for contribution to a sound-effects library? About the toilet cleaning, I'd take the direct approach. You know that four-part escalating communication tool, right? Neutral observation -> description of effect on you --> request --> cons... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Listening to NTs vent/complain |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2014, 3:01 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,160
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| It's in the nature of men to try and offer advice, but it's never wanted when someone just needs to vent. Interesting. My experience has been that it's more often other women who tend to jump in with unsolicited advice and off-the-cuff "solutions," while men often seem more aware that they don't ha... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Five Traits of True Friends - article & praise of Aspie |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2014, 2:39 pm
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Replies: 3
Views: 1,018
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@KoK, no way do I aspire to completely accept *everybody*! Most people out there, I really don't care to interact with at all, never mind to have as friends.
@aspiemike, yeah Marvin is a great guy, I just let some annoyances build up too much, to the point of extreme frustration with little things. |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: how can I be kind yet clear w ASD friend? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2014, 10:30 am
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Replies: 19
Views: 4,094
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kicker wrote: Through your responses you shed such insight that I want to say thank you. 
Kicker, your post reminded me of what it probably feels like from his side. Thank you for that. |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Is it rude to cut short... |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2014, 9:52 am
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Replies: 5
Views: 724
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| Did this happen to you? It's not not-rude. I've done this, because it was the least-rude way of handling a situation that became too much for me. Too much because of what felt like the other person's rudeness, even though I knew he didn't mean it that way. KWIM? They should at least provide an expla... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: what would your ultimate sexual fantasy be? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 12 Jan 2014, 8:57 pm
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Replies: 106
Views: 1,914
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Someone to clean my house. I don't need to watch.
Oh, *sexual* fantasy?
Yeah, I could get off on the idea of a clean house. |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Day 2 |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 12 Jan 2014, 8:30 pm
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Replies: 7
Views: 769
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| Oh wow KoK, I thought I was the only one who counted days when going NC. In one case, I decided to keep a log for 30 days, made a booklet with a page for each day; I had this quiet certainty that I'd feel better at day 15 than I did at day 3. It was like withdrawal from a physical dependency. Anythi... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Five Traits of True Friends - article & praise of Aspie |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 12 Jan 2014, 8:26 pm
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Replies: 3
Views: 1,018
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| First, here's the article: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/are-you-wasting-time-with-bad-friends-here-are-5-traits-true-friends.html And here are some ways my Aspie friend lives these qualities: The Ability to Listen The guy is a talker, that's for sure. But when I make it clear that ... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: how can I be kind yet clear w ASD friend? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 12 Jan 2014, 5:07 pm
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Replies: 19
Views: 4,094
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| ask him to title his 'walls of text' with a sort of summary of what he's trying to say? I'll try to phrase this request more clearly. only respond to him when his emails are brief, and simply ignore his lengthy missives? This approach produced long mails asking why I hadn't replied, and re-explaini... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: What is the difference between love and limerance? |
| ZaphodsCloset |
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Posted: 12 Jan 2014, 3:40 pm
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Replies: 29
Views: 2,206
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| @Hurtloam, how are you doing lately? I'm in my early 40s and had far too many experiences similar to what you describe in terms of unrequited limerance and then being really, really down. I read that I *wasn't noticing* available, interested men, but that seemed hard to believe. BF definitely isn't ... |
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