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 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Life improves after diagnosis

Posted: 04 Aug 2019, 1:04 pm 

Replies: 16
Views: 393


A jaded ToughDiamond? I tend to agree with your analysis and I may even be more cynical. I am not diagnosed and probably would not meet the DSM criteria. That said, the knowledge I gained about my social limitations has given me an opportunity improve that way I behave in public. Learning how to spe...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Which is worse?

 Post subject: Re: Which is worse?
Posted: 03 Aug 2019, 4:54 am 

Replies: 32
Views: 605


There are times when I cultivate being underestimated. This gives me an advantage. Other times, I put on an act to show off a bit. But, I do not like doing it and usually walk it back. My preference is to be a mystery and confuse people. To quote a past president, "Don't misunderestimate me.&qu...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Mid-Life Crisis?

 Post subject: Re: Mid-Life Crisis?
Posted: 02 Aug 2019, 3:15 pm 

Replies: 25
Views: 667


Nope, no mid life crisis, mid life burnout yes.

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 02 Aug 2019, 3:03 pm 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


How are you holding on? Thanks BenderRodriguez, I am ok, making plans. Nothing dramatic, just a slow exit. There are legal implications to a full No Contact. I must make sure he has no claims on any of my assets. There are others in the family that will be let go as well. I wrote a few letters, tha...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Autism Isn’t To Blame For Bad Behavior.

Posted: 27 Jul 2019, 6:35 am 

Replies: 41
Views: 884


I generally agree with most of the comments. For me, a persons intent or motivation is key. We all make mistakes, misread cues, get angry and can be dense and oblivious. But, if a persons behavior is to intentionally hurt, cause trouble and to get their way, they are wrong, regardless of their neuro...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 26 Jul 2019, 5:29 pm 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


Well they didn't invite him, so kind of weird he's mad at you for getting an invitation. If anything it seems it would make more sense to be angry about not being invited at the people who didn't invite him. I mean you literally didn't do anything aside go to an event you were invited to. I mean wh...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 26 Jul 2019, 5:08 pm 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


Your brother is manipulating you and playing social power play games. If it were me, I would just say that. I would literally say, "Just stop with the manipulating and power plays, it's getting old and I won't tolerate it anymore." If you call him out on exactly what he is doing he might ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 24 Jul 2019, 4:04 pm 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


First step, restricted, unfollowed on facebook. Second step, removed as beneficiary from IRA accounts. I must change all my estate documents and emergency contact information, that will take some time to figure out. Notifying the rest of the family of my "No Contact" decision needs some th...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 24 Jul 2019, 2:10 pm 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


BenderRodriguez wrote:
Well, that sounds like a good start - you can make up your mind later about the "forever" part. Keep us posted and don't hesitate to use this thread when you feel down or you need emotional support :)


I am grateful

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 24 Jul 2019, 2:03 pm 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


^ I understand it's more difficult with a family member but have you considered going "no contact"? This explains how to do it and what to expect (it's mostly geared around partners, but the principle is pretty much the same) https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2018/02/this-is-what-i...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 24 Jul 2019, 10:37 am 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


Thank you for all the helpful advice. I have very few people to help me with this problem. Bringing this to the attention of other family members is not advisable at the moment. My brother has a terrible temper and provoking him is counter productive. To summarize, for the past 2 months, my brother ...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 22 Jul 2019, 4:24 am 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


Rexi, Thank you, your advice and kind words have been a big help. I was blaming myself for the problem, when it was narcissistic rage from his loss of status. Now, I can go forward and figure out what to do next. He needs to be contained from causing more trouble and I do not have a good plan. Our e...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 21 Jul 2019, 7:02 am 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


His "cold shoulder" punishment reminds me of what my narcissistic mother does. Jealousy is what they feel most along with anger, topping feelings. Also refusal to respect boundaries. He's certainly toxic and can't be worked with unless he'd be willing to be nice and change. I'm glad you l...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 20 Jul 2019, 10:04 am 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


True, but sometimes we have to honor our social responsibilities. I do not like parties and will go to great lengths to avoid them.

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Should I Apologize?

 Post subject: Re: Should I Apologize?
Posted: 20 Jul 2019, 8:22 am 

Replies: 34
Views: 779


Dear Friends, After two months of no contact, I met my brother at large party thrown by my Aunt. I was surprised to see him there. Since, he had alienated many of the people who were in attendance. I tried to talk to him and got the cold shoulder. So, I avoided him. That night, he sent a nasty email...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Officially NOT Autistic

 Post subject: Re: Officially NOT Autistic
Posted: 06 Jul 2019, 6:27 am 

Replies: 64
Views: 1,471


Having a autistic personality traits, social communication issues, anxiety, etc ... is still a burden. The good news is that you are gifted and can use your talents to make changes in your life. You should be extremely pleased with yourself. You had the courage to go for an evaluation and accept the...
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