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 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The "no contact" thing in today's American culture

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 5:50 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 963


It's quite normal to wanna let go of your ex wether the relationship was bad or not. I would never invest any time in a man who was still friends with his ex Opposite of me. I would be wary of forming an erotic relationship with someone who is not still friends with at least some of one's exes. I w...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The "no contact" thing in today's American culture

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 4:51 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 963


I agree that it's not new, but it seems to be more common now. Or at least I seem to hear about it more now. EDIT: The expressions "the cold shoulder" and "the silent treatment" do not refer just to ghosting, but also to passive-aggressive behavior within a still-ongoing relatio...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The "no contact" thing in today's American culture

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 4:19 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 963


Hardly. Have you never heard of "The Cold Shoulder" or "The Silent Treatment"? People have been "Ghosting" other people for centuries. Even Benjamin Franklin did this to his (illegitimate) son William because Ben was a Patriot, and Bill was a Loyalist. I agree that it'...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The "no contact" thing in today's American culture

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 4:13 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 963


Hmm, I didn't exactly say I would "kick them out of my life." I said I would gladly "kick the door open" if they appear willing to leave. In other words, I will not expend that much energy to keep someone in my life if they are having doubts about remaining in my life. There's a...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: She’s trying to get over me.

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 3:59 pm 

Replies: 26
Views: 684


It's best to break all contact with an ex anyway especially if you ever wanna meet someone new and get serious with them. If she's trying to get over you she might still have feelings in which case it's a really good idea for her to break contact with you and you should respect her wanting to do so...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The "no contact" thing in today's American culture

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 3:53 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 963


I've made some bad choices in relationships, unfortunately. As much as I wanted them to continue at the time, the other party did not. I am probably fortunate that they dissolved, to be honest. Dissolving a relationship is not the same thing as going "no contact." One can dissolve a relat...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The "no contact" thing in today's American culture

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 12:29 pm 

Replies: 41
Views: 963


Here , in the thread She’s trying to get over me : It's best to break all contact with an ex anyway especially if you ever wanna meet someone new and get serious with them. If she's trying to get over you she might still have feelings in which case it's a really good idea for her to break contact w...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: How did you start dating?

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 11:18 am 

Replies: 44
Views: 919


I feel very fortunate in that I've managed to get into a variety of relationships while avoiding mainstream dating rituals completely. My impressions of mainstream dating rituals are, to me, absolutely stomach-turning. At some point, when I have more time, I will write about my experiences in detail.

 Forum: Adult Autism Issues   Topic: BDSM, kink, and alternate lifestyles

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 10:21 am 

Replies: 33
Views: 449


I do have to add, though: One aspect of the 1980's-to-1990's NYC S&M scene that was NOT at all autistic-friendly was the loud music at Hellfire and similar clubs. On numerous occasions, I and my friends (many of whom I now think were at least autistic-like, looking back on those days) pleaded in...

 Forum: Adult Autism Issues   Topic: BDSM, kink, and alternate lifestyles

Posted: 21 Nov 2018, 9:37 am 

Replies: 33
Views: 449


I was very much into both BDSM (as a dom, primarily) and polyamory back in the 1980's and 1990's, when I was in my 20's and 30's. (Currently I'm in a monogamous relationship.) Looking back on my younger days, I now see the BDSM and polyamory subcultures (as they existed back then, at least, here in ...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: preventing meltdowns in long-term aspie/aspie relationship?

Posted: 20 Nov 2018, 4:08 pm 

Replies: 9
Views: 1,998


There's no scientific basis for "meltdown". It is just a WP-invented term for stuff such as tantrum, or panic attack or a strong moment of depression or something like that. There's no "meltdown", people, the term doesn't even exist in the diagnosis. Was the term "meltdown&...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: do many people here have a aspie/aspie relationship?

Posted: 20 Nov 2018, 3:33 pm 

Replies: 30
Views: 2,479


The two I referred to I would call "cuspies" as it doesn't seem quite right to call them NTs...they have a number of aspie traits but are not diagnosable. "Cuspie" -- interesting term. I might adopt it for myself if I am deemed not to have ASD. (I'm currently on the waiting list...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Online Dating

 Post subject: Re: Online Dating
Posted: 20 Nov 2018, 11:52 am 

Replies: 18
Views: 440


I've never tried any because I couldn't do a voice/video chat, which I've always presumed they're largely based upon or what people would expect you to do. To others here: Is that, indeed, what they expect? If so: ugh, ugh, ugh! Even more opening oneself up to potential online harassment of various...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Ideal dating/courtship rules in autistic-friendly community?

Posted: 20 Nov 2018, 11:24 am 

Replies: 6
Views: 538


Ideally, NDs should build a mind-to-mind communication link. Unfortunately, many NDs don't even believe these exist, and even if they do, will not put down the effort required to create one. Have you discussed mind-to-mind communication links here on Wrong Planet before? If so, could you please pos...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Mind-to-mind communication links?

Posted: 20 Nov 2018, 11:17 am 

Replies: 22
Views: 507


Here , in the thread Ideal dating/courtship rules in autistic-friendly community? : Some key issues are that NDs have stronger infatuations, can put down a huge amount of effort on a love interest and that the process to get to know each other can take several years. Ideally, NDs should build a min...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Bigotry against involuntarily celibate men

Posted: 20 Nov 2018, 4:25 am 

Replies: 1,584
Views: 26,628


Sabreclaw wrote:
If you say the wrong thing to the wrong person it could end up on one of those reddit threads, immortalizing you as a complete prat. Then there's always risk of it showing up to haunt you in life.

I just now replied here, in the separate thread Online Dating.
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