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Message |
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Married to an Aspie - thinking of divorce |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 09 May 2013, 10:20 am
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Replies: 66
Views: 12,719
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| Is there any chance that your husband can get therapy? My Aspie husband has changed a lot (for good) since we married. Because he made the effort and changed himself to adapt to married life. But his Asperger's is mild. I know it is not possible for everybody. Therapy has done wonders for our daught... |
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Forum: Getting to know each other Topic: New Here: Mom of an Aspie daughter |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 09 May 2013, 10:17 am
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Replies: 5
Views: 1,005
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AnonymousAnonymous wrote: @Ilka: My mom is from Panama too.
That's great! So you are half Panamanian! "6 degrees of separation" strikes again... |
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Forum: Getting to know each other Topic: New Here: Mom of an Aspie daughter |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 07 May 2013, 8:58 pm
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Replies: 5
Views: 1,005
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| No. You are not alone. I am the mom of a 13 years old Aspie daughter. We live in Panama, Central America. My daughter is also aware of her differences, but after about 5 years of therapy and tons of talking from my part, now she feels less helpless, more willing to fight back. She doesn't stim anymo... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Can Aspergers manifest in different ways? |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 10 Apr 2013, 6:58 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,801
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| About your question, the answer is: yes, AS can manifest in different ways. AS is a syndrome. People can present several characteristics from a list, but not all have the same characteristics. My daughter was diagnosed with AS and when I read the list I thought she did not fit. If I was you I would ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: My husbands treats me like an employee |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 8:25 pm
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Replies: 13
Views: 11,888
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| If I was you I would get a job. Some people just do not respect their stay-home partners. They see stay-home partners as not worthy because they do not make money. That is unfair because house work is extremely difficult and very expensive if you need to hire someone else to do it for you. Maybe tha... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Why is it impossible for an ugly man to be desired? |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 6:10 pm
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Replies: 83
Views: 23,241
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| I do agree. Most women judge based on appearance. But most men do the same. But I think that depends on the people you surround yourself with, because not everybody does that. When I fell in love with my husband I did not like him physically. He is not precisely handsome and he was extremely overwei... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Confessed my feelings - guess she's freaked out now |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 11:14 am
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Replies: 10
Views: 2,937
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| Update... she answered she's going to be busy the next days but she's planning on talking to me after that. She also needs to ease down a bit. At the end she told me to have a good time/enjoy myself. That means at least she doesn't hate me and it's important enough for her to talk about it, right? ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Confessed my feelings - guess she's freaked out now |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 26 Mar 2013, 8:08 am
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Replies: 10
Views: 2,937
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| If you want to fix things up with her, I think you need to be honest. Not about your dx, but about the reason why you acted the way you did: because you were afraid. Afraid of your feelings for her. You can tell her you have never had a relationship and you were afraid of rejection, so you acted the... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: What to do... |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 3:55 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,527
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| Not hearing from someone in 2 weeks seems like a lot. He cannot be THAT busy that he cannot respond your messages. In case he is, he can always send you a message telling you he is busy and he will contact you later. If I was you and would move on with my life.You cannot just stay there waiting for ... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: How do I get rid of my dad? |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 18 Mar 2013, 1:52 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 3,456
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| How old are you? The two times my father tried to hurt me without justification I fought back. The first time I pushed him (he fell, 'cause he was drunk), and then I ran and locked myself into my bedroom. The second time he had his hand around my throat. I held his hands and pushed back as hard as I... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Grinning like an idiot at inappropriate moments... |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 18 Mar 2013, 1:41 pm
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Replies: 21
Views: 2,388
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| A couple of weeks ago we were watching "Lincoln" and my 13 years-old Aspie daughter started laughing at the scene where Lincoln's younger child reacts to his father's death. We were extremely annoyed, but more than annoyed we were concerned because it was a very sad moment and she reacted in a very ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: What to do... |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 18 Mar 2013, 7:35 am
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,527
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| If someone is in love with you, that person will find the way to be with you, no matter how busy, because when you are in love you feel you cannot live without the object of your affection. Nowadays are plenty ways of keeping in touch: phone, email, messages... If he is "always busy" probably he is ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: How can a autistic person go undiagnosed till adulthood? |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 13 Mar 2013, 6:49 am
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Replies: 57
Views: 19,126
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| AS is usually hereditary. Probably your parents thought "he is just like..." That is what my husband used to say about our daughter's quirks, that she was "just like him". We only started looking for a diagnosis for our girl when she started to have serious issues at school, to the point that she wa... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Some Women and Emotions |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 13 Mar 2013, 6:39 am
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Replies: 21
Views: 2,861
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| 1. What does it mean to be considerate towards a woman's feelings? What does she mean when she says a guy is inconsiderate towards her feelings? You would have to provide an example. "Being considerate towards her feelings" can mean anything... Why do some women ask their spouses all of the time if... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When did honesty go from being a virture, to a crime. |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 01 Mar 2013, 10:24 am
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Replies: 27
Views: 3,293
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| My problem with this argument is why is honesty itself be hurtful. If you see a mother with a newborn and the child is ugly as f0ck, and you say it... that would be honest, but that would be hurtful. You would hurt the mother. Is it constructive? Is there anything good in saying so? No. There is no... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When did honesty go from being a virture, to a crime. |
| Ilka |
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Posted: 01 Mar 2013, 6:38 am
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Replies: 27
Views: 3,293
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| Honesty is a virtue, but empathy is also a virtue. Honesty can be used to hurt people. You can be honest without hurting people's feelings. All depends on the way and moment you choose "to be honest". I used to hurt people with my "honesty". Nowadays I am still honest but I use my honesty wisely and... |
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