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 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 6:00 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


There is not such thing as 'energy' in psychology. But there is when it's used in ordinary speech as: "redirect the energy from fighting to finding solutions". That is - take the effort and energy expended in order to fight , and redirect it into finding solutions instead. Another way of ...

 Forum: Computers, Math, Science, and Technology   Topic: Why's it so hard to find decent cloud storage?

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 5:51 pm 

Replies: 22
Views: 1,612


Firemonkey - Why not buy a nice external hard drive for your data storage? I'm wary of doing so, because a while back I had a lot of music on such a drive. The drive failed, and I lost all the music. "Two is one and one is none". Ideally you should have at least two local copies of your m...

 Forum: Computers, Math, Science, and Technology   Topic: Why's it so hard to find decent cloud storage?

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 5:49 pm 

Replies: 22
Views: 1,612


Google drive- crap, One drive-crap,Dropbox-crap, Mega-crap-says up to date, but only 15% of files uploaded. Want something reasonably priced/good storage/ auto uploads new and updated files/simple to use-no fiddle faddle/ doesn't take ages to upload files/ Why Google Drive is crap? It works very we...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Perceived sexual threat Unfair or not?

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 5:39 pm 

Replies: 77
Views: 3,555


I can imagine this is similar to how awkward and self-aware I feel when I run into a store in a hurry to buy one specific item, but immediately see it is not there. Every time in this situation I feel like I must pretend to be looking for something for everyone to see I didn't find it or to buy some...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 4:47 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


Well, I recall at least one but indeed it wasn't in The Haven. Have any OP ever specifically asked you to prevent my further participation in their threads because they asked me to leave them alone, but their request was ignored by me? I don't recall anyone ever asking me to leave their thread. I b...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 2:57 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


Honestly, having grown up in a less-than-perfect home, I've learned the art of redirecting a loved one's agression quite well - but self-sacrificing is not the way you do it. The way you do it is redirect the energy from fighting to finding solutions by skillfully using knowledge on what that perso...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 2:37 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


magz wrote:
Are you saying distressed members are abusive and you heroically redirect their abuse on yourself?

No, this is not what I'm saying.

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 2:25 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


If you want a simple example, it's like older sibling saying "I did it" when sees their drunk abusive father going to punch his little sister using some minor misdemeanor as an excuse for aggression. That sounds heroic but it doesn't help in long run. Actually, this behavior fits very wel...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 1:58 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


Not really - is it like punching someone already in extreme pain being okay because you can't add much to their pain? No, it's nothing like that. If you want to understand what I mean read some books on mainstream psychology you believe my thinking goes against, e.g. theory of constructed emotion. ...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 1:46 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


Anyway: do you genuinely think you don't make distressed members even more uncomfortable? Yes, I don't. I assess situation every time and don't intervene when I'm not sure if it would be appropriate or when something can tip that person over in their current condition. When I see consistent pattern...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 1:20 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


No user on WrongPlanet since I keep the record, including the most awful cases, managed to upset hundreds of people. We're just too small a community. The fact is, my posts were removed like 2 or 3 time from "The Haven" and it wasn't OP who reported them.  And I don't recall a single inst...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 1:18 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


Anyway: do you genuinely think you don't make distressed members even more uncomfortable? Yes, I don't. I assess situation every time and don't intervene when I'm not sure if it would be appropriate or when something can tip that person over in their current condition. When I see consistent pattern...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 12:59 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


No user on WrongPlanet since I keep the record, including the most awful cases, managed to upset hundreds of people. We're just too small a community. The fact is, my posts were removed like 2 or 3 time from "The Haven" and it wasn't OP who reported them. And I don't recall a single insta...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 12:46 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


Yes, I know how reports work. My posts were removed from "The Haven" like 2, maybe 3 times total. And I honestly don't recall OPs asking me to leave their threads. Quietly clicking the 'Report' button is much more effective than ruining a thread by engaging in an open conflict. Yes, but i...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 12:33 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


Yes, I know how reports work. My posts were removed from "The Haven" like 2, maybe 3 times total. And I honestly don't recall OPs asking me to leave their threads. Quietly clicking the 'Report' button is much more effective than ruining a thread by engaging in an open conflict. Yes, but i...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Framework for Care of Upset Person

Posted: 25 Oct 2021, 12:29 pm 

Replies: 211
Views: 2,878


Great ... now I have made yet another person's "List of Detractors". It is sad, however, that all of those other people with such lists no longer post on WrongPlanet. What are you talking about? It is your tiny clique attacking me right now. No other users really engage in this "war&...
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